Modesty at Home

Hi everyone!

I have another modesty question. ducks from all the tomatoes that are thrown at head

Do we have to make an effort to dress modestly at home?

When I go out, I am always careful to wear very appropriate things. I don’t wear tight pants, short skirts or shorts, low cut or revealing shirts, or anything of that nature. However, one a normal day where I don’t go anywhere (I’m homeschooled), or if I am just chilling around my house, I might wear something a bit less modest. I am not referring to anything terrible scandalous, but something like cotton shorts and a tank-top that is that is the slightest bit see-through. I am wearing these clothes because they’re comfy, easy to relax in, and I don’t mind getting them dirty. If I am home for the day, there is no way I will be bumping into anyone beside my siblings and parents, so it isn’t as if anyone outside my immediate family will be seeing me. (And when I say staying home, I literally mean not leaving my house, or, at the most, sitting on my back porch (where my one neighbor can’t even see me).) If I were to be going out, I’d change out of the clothes.

This assumes that the reason to dress modestly in public is to present yourself in a humble, well-covered way, and not to show too much skin. This ideology (which I admit I sometimes am guilty of) is not necessarily in an effort to show honor God, but just to present yourself as modest. I strive for both case scenerious in public. I never thought it mattered what I wore at home (obviously within reason) until now. What do you think?

Thank you for your time!

Yes, it’s bad! Also you had better start showering in a full-scale dress! And with a veil over your head!

I hope you know I’m only teasing. But there’s a serious issue to discuss, here.

Sometimes, people imagine that monks take a vow of silence. They don’t. But they do try to be silent. They do this to be receptive to God, to become patient, to avoid saying idle or harmful things, etc… and they are quick to speak when it becomes pertinent to speak, like, in the case of an emergency, or a guest asks a question.

This is because silence is not an end of itself, it is a means! It is a means towards perfection. Do you see what I mean? Things have proper meaning when they point us to the pathway of our God. Our goal is the Kingdom of Heaven-- not silence!

Dressing properly, too.
We try to be dress properly to help others not to fall into lustful sin over us, but also because as human beings we have a certain dignity ascribed to us. But dressing properly is not an ends-- we do not sacrifice all for the sake of dressing properly. It is a means towards perfection, towards the Kingdom.

Thank you for your answer. I see what you are getting. I really enjoyed your response! :thumbsup:

You’ll maybe note that I said “dressing properly” instead of modesty. This is because your question was, in my opinion, more focused on dressing properly than on modesty. Modesty, unlike silence, is a virtue (and so it ought not to be eschewed in certain cases, like silence may be eschewed). Modesty can be violated whether you are dressed properly or not (although it is more likely when you are not!) Modesty can be violated even when you are all alone by yourself.

Dressing properly, however, I felt was more akin to silence. And it can be eschewed at proper times-- like when we shower, or are at home relaxing with no one but family around (and even this has its limits, of course)

Edit: Oh, and you’re welcome! I only wanted to make this follow-up post to clarify a little bit, lest someone think I was suggesting that modesty could be tossed aside at proper times. It cannot, but proper dress can [in the aforementioned cases].

Thank you again! This followup sincerely helped me! I understand you completely! :slight_smile: Thank you!!

Relax and be comfortable!!!


You must be modest at home as well, you don’t want to cause your siblings any problems or give a bad example.


A simple answer - I would follow your parents guidance on this. If they are happy with what you wear at home then I wouldn’t worry.

NO, YOU MUST NEVER BE COMFORTABLE!!! Cover your legs, you rotten heathen!!! lulz

hides catapult of tomatoes :whistle:

In all seriousness though, don’t you think this religion would hit another all-time low if it preaches that you can’t take comfort in the privacy and security of your own home? Plenty of poorer people around the world don’t even have that luxury. I would find it rather hypocritical if someone claimed that God demanded that one shouldn’t be comfortable within their own household! :eek: I mean how would you even get away with wanting to help the homeless if you don’t understand that type of security? :shrug:

For me and my siblings, few things give us peace than being able to kick off and dress loose when we’re at home.

Funny. My youngest brother’s ever a black sheep. Just got recently kicked out. And yet, he dresses far more modestly than:

a.) A body-sculpting older brother who goes around shirtless.
b.) An older sister who favors similar, if not slightly more ‘scandalous’ short-and-shirt combinations than the OP.
c.) Me, the guy who’d look like your typical geek-in-the-basement minus the basement.

I would personally say to be modest at home too. May be little lesser than being modest outside.

It also depends who is around you. If it is just the married couples at tome, then relaxation in dressing shall be ok as long as it is not fueled purely by lust.

Like you, I was confused with this a long time. It took a lot of time (I mean couple years) to settle to something so that I can stay in peace.

Just would like to point out that I am not referring about modesty outside of home here.

If one is immodest at home, we “may” lay more opportunity to pure lust than a balanced love. It also will present more opportunities to make the husband and wife, a people of body (and its pleasures) rather than of the Holy Spirit. By this I certainly do not mean that the physical bond between the husband and wife is wrong. I hope you understand.

The degree of modesty one would follow gladly will depend upon the circumstances around the house and the degree of Christian faith and Christian love one has as a family. Sometimes husband, who is not in the same state of spirituality as the wife, might want her to be more revealing all the time. So it depends. If the family prays together and stay together in the journey of loving God, it will progress together.

It is hard to give one specific answer. Whatever I said could lead to a misunderstanding if it is not taken the way I personally meant. I do not have enough blessing to comment or explain further on this matter. I just shared what came to my mind.

However finally, I would recommend you to meditate on your question and ask our Father God in prayer to help you with answers. God will give you the answer that you personally need.

Take care :slight_smile:

With so many kids being abused by a parent, It would be prudent to dress modestly even in your own home. The devil uses every opportunity to tempt people.

I did like the comment about helping out your siblings by dressing modestly it’s good not to have the idea of someone’s body in your head when lustful thoughts pop in, but the thing that I thought of the most is I think you may feel holier if you walk around covered before the tomatoes come my way imagine holy women saints, mary of course, and even everyday sisters walking around in their habits even with no one around there’s a difference in holiness then imaging them carrying on their everyday life in shorts and a slightly see-thru t-shirt and I don’t think they mind a little dirt either especially the franciscan nuns!

There is freedom to choose our dress and mode of wearing. However the fact that female body is always an attraction to males should be born in mind. So a female who shows her body in ways that can generate lust does a wrong. If her cleavage,her other parts of the body are displayed it is scandalous. What purpose can an immodest dress serve other than an view the attractive skin ?


God made you without clothes. The reason to cover up, as I understand it as well, is for practicality and to curtail sexual temptation. If those aren’t issues at home, then what’s the problem? I can’t see that God would be angry at you in comfortable clothes, or even in the nude. I’ve known people who regularly sleep nude. I don’t see anything wrong with that!

Not in front of your parents or brothers & sisters .:blush:

:ehh: Really?

Children need to be afraid of their parents now?

We can’t let our children be alone with priests, now we can’t let our children be alone with us? :doh2:

Why not?

I think it’s prudent with older children and teens. Not so much out of fear of molestation, but just to convey the notion that some things are kept private. Not to teach shame, but just to maintain boundaries. I remember my mother used to get dressed with the door open when we were young. Not to flaunt anything - probably just because we were little and more liable to get into trouble, so she wanted to be able to see and hear us quickly if she needed to. As we got older, she started shutting the door. If, say, she was in the bathroom and needed something, she’d call for me or one of my sisters before my brother. She never was obvious about it (I don’t even know if she thought about it), but she was teaching us something about privacy, and we copied her. Same with my dad - at some point, he quit walking around the house in his underwear. :stuck_out_tongue:

DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in these forums do not necessarily reflect those of Catholic Answers. For official apologetics resources please visit