Modesty in dorms, etc


#21

Sort of, I think my main discomfort is two-fold

  1. I am afraid of temptation, though at the same time on the last confirmation retreat I had a very pleasant conversation with a guy a grade below me and a chaperone, and the guy spent nearly 1/2 the conversation without a shirt, and I wasn’t too uncomfortable, but rather I was more easily able to view him as a person (due to the conversation) and thus it was in a way healing (had we not talked he would have been much more of a temptation, and I would have felt more ostracized).
  2. I am rather over-weight so I’m not really comfortable with my body in general, much less in situations where there is less-no fabric concealing this reality.

My real concern is just avoiding sin of being immodest when in arrangements like this, other threads discus appropriate clothing when reasonably alone/with a spouse but nothing about roommates.

Edit: as I have tried to explain the more of a state of grace I am in, and the better I know the guy(s) the less of a temptation it is, and the more of a healing opportunity (in that I feel more like “just one of the guys” and in general the greater feeling of brotherhood, a lack of which I attribute to making my life 10x more difficult) it seems to be.


#22

[quote=“Michael_Anthony, post:1, topic:541326”]
Obviously having 2 beds between 3 students creates slightly different circumstances, but speaking of the general.
[/quote].

Not sure what you mean here, but do not share a bed.


#23

Re: being overweight, you might want to start jogging in the morning (or evening), or at least walking briskly. Exercise will make you feel better.


#24

What I was trying to say is that in circumstances like that keeping a shirt on would probably be in everybody’s best interest (with regard to avoiding weirdness. While I am not crazy about it I have been put in the situation of sharing a bed before (4 people in 1 room), it didn’t really bother me though I am not in any rush to do it again, I was more afraid of it being a trigger than it was triggering. It might be different (in terms of how I experience it) if I were significantly attracted to the person, and/or if there were only the 2 of us in the room, but I was fine. I’m not an out of control maniac, and I generally don’t feel any inclination to act out with a person, and thus far it only varies in the degree of my temptation to act out alone, which there was no increase that time I “had” to share a bed.

edit: My question was more about not scandalising a roommate than the circumstances of having a roommate, I already figured out more or less how do deal with that with respect to SSA.


#25

Wear loose fitting clothing that doesn’t show off anything. Keep in mind, even if there is only one gender per room, you’d be at a serious risk of still being objectified.


#26

Yes in any women’s area for showering I’ve been in there have always been private showers, nothing open or communal. Don’t know why men’s shower areas aren’t like that. If that were the only case offered I would not shower there. Just me personally. I don’t even like if there is just a curtain on a ladies shower room with multiple showers. I prefer a door. But guess the curtains are less costly.


#27

I totally agree 100%!


#28

That is a great way to think about it. Do what puts you in the most modest of situations and circumstances and keeps your self avoiding any kind of temptation to sin. You are right in thinking about your soul and what to avoid in these situations.

And ABSOLUTELY don’t share a bed with another male or female. No reason to cause any kind of temptation that you don’t need.


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