Mom doesn't want me to be Catholic


#1

I told my mother that I am thinking of converting to Catholicism. She asked me what drew me to the church and I told her about the rich history, the importance of the sacraments, and the emphasis on the Bible.
She told me that the Church was unfair to women, and that my boyfriend probably wouldn’t want to marry me because he is Pentecostal. She says he would never convert and we couldn’t have a valid Church marriage if he remained Protestant. She basically implied I would have to choose between him and deciding to convert.
I was kind of suprised–I already told my dad and he’s OK with it. I’ve dropped subtle hints to the boyfriend. I don’t see why Mom is negative about it. Advice please? :confused:


#2

How old are you? Are you still living with your parents?

You could be Catholic and have a valid marriage with a Pentecostal. But who knows if your boyfriend at the moment is the one you’ll marry anyway. God might have other plans for the both of you :wink:

I will pray for you as you begin your journey! What wonderful news!


#3

Being fully part of the Church is one of the most if not the most important decisions of your life. It should be done with much prayer and after serious discussion with a priest. It is a choice to allow God to guide you and not your emotions or your ego. For examople, upon what basis does your mom think the Church is unfair to women? It is obviously a political power basis which has nothing to do with God’s wishes. Consider your boyfriend, if he loves God he will convert as well. If not, is he really the one you should be dating? God has someone for you. He will be a good Catholic who follows all the guidance of the Church. Will that be your present boy friend or someone else. The primary choice should be up to God.

Finally, the timing of your conversion has alot to do with your age. If you are younger than 18 bide your time. If you are 18 or older you may convert now.

CDL


#4

I feel for you. Ever since I have become serious about my faith I’ve gotten flack from my family, even though they are Catholic (some practicing, some in name only).

You can certainly have a valid Church wedding with any baptized Christian.

The thing is, if you believe the catholic faith is the Truth, I don’t see any choice but to follow it. If your boyfriend or Mother don’t accept it then so be it.

Christ promised us this very thing.

Mark Ch 13
11 And when they shall lead you and deliver you up, be not thoughtful beforehand what you shall speak; but whatsoever shall be given you in that hour, that speak ye. For it is not you that speak, but the Holy Ghost. 12 And the brother shall betray his brother unto death, and the father his son; and children shall rise up against the parents, and shall work their death. 13 And you shall be hated by all men for my name’s sake. But he that shall endure unto the end, he shall be saved.

I’ll say a prayer for you.

May Gob Bless you and continue to strengthen your faith.


#5

Sometimes the road to conversion is a difficult thing. You seem pretty young but I am sure that a priest will help you. If your boyfriend loves you, he will want you to do what is right for you. Who knows, your experience may rub off on him and your mom.
What religion is your mom?


#6

Welcome to the process of becoming a Catholic. You will find such “bumps” in the road. I don’t know of a single convert who didn’t. :slight_smile:

As to your mother’s comments about women and the Church. I very much doubt she really knows the Church’s position. There’s a lot of misinformation about this circulating in the general public. She might want to read: Pope John Paul II, Women, Feminists, and the Church by Janet Smith.


#7

You can have a valid marriage in the Church even if your spouse is not Catholic. Trust me, I was wondering the same thing when I started dating my Protestant boyfriend (I’m also a convert to Catholicism, from no religious background). You would need a dispensation, a lot of prayer, and pastoral counseling if you were to get married though. However, I found that dating a Protestant has made me more rock solid in my faith. I have to clear misconceptions about the church and live as a good Catholic, to show him how Catholics should live, not how most do live. He isn’t a big fan of the Church, but he doesn’t want to lose me, so he accepts that I won’t leave the Church.

If your boyfriend isn’t willing to accept your conversion, he probably isn’t the right man for you. It would be difficult to have to make that decision but Jesus promised us that this life would not be easy. I’ll keep you and your relationship in my prayers.

What exactly has your mom thinking that the Church is anti-woman? Is it the teachings on birth control and abortion? Or the fact we have an all male priesthood? Or both?


#8

I’m sorry to hear that you are having to deal with this. The process of converting is not an easy one, and I know it is especially painful when a parent is so outspoken against the decision. When I first told my parents that I was thinking about converting, my mom was skeptical but supportive, but my dad was very upset. He said that he did not want to see his daughter stuck in a bad marriage with 10 kids and no way to get out. I explained to him they way I felt, and that I knew that this was where God was leading me. I was 19 at the time, and while I was technically an adult and lived on my own, it was still very difficult to deal with the way he reacted. I have officially been a member of the Catholic Church now for just over 2 years, and it is the best thing I could have ever done! My dad is still not too happy about it, but he is slowly becoming more accepting. Don’t lose faith, just seek God and he will strengthen and guide you. I will say a prayer for you as well. :smiley:


#9

not true about never being able to have a valid marriage to a Protestant…however, you need to ask yourself a very important question, what is more important - the promise of a possible marriage or Truth?


#10

Originally posted by CatholicSam
How old are you? Are you still living with your parents?

Originally posted by GregoryPalamas
Finally, the timing of your conversion has alot to do with your age.

I still live at home, but actually, I’m 26. I know I look young but I didn’t know I write young too :slight_smile:

Has the rule about valid church weddings changed? When my uncle got married 26 years ago, he had to convert to Catholicism to marry in the Church. Maybe things have changed and my mother’s not quite aware of it?

RWMorris, my mom is Baptist (and she married my Methodist dad). Yeah, I know truth is more important than marriage, but it’s real hard.


#11

Maybe it’s time to get out on your own so you won’t feel so dependent upon your mother.

CDL


#12

These are the patron saints of converts. If you say a prayer for their intercession in your quest to become Catholic, perhaps your prayer will be answered more quickly.

Click on any of the links for their biography…
PATRON SAINT INDEX TOPIC

converts [LIST]
*]Afra
*]Alban
*]Anne Line
*]Boniface of Tarsus
*]Caedwalla
*]Charles Lwanga
*]Edwin
*]Flora of Cordoba
*]Genesius
*]Helena
*]Hermengild
*]John the Baptist
*]Joseph of Palestine
*]Lucian
*]Ludmila
*]Marcian
*]Margaret Clitherow
*]Mary Magdalen
*]Natalia
*]Olga
*]Philemon
*]Theodota
*]Vladimir[/LIST]


#13

First of all I just wanted to let you know that I understand what you are going through. My parents started to worry when I became very devout as a teenager. My mother shuffled us around from religion to religion as kids. I’ve been at the buffet of religions. I can tell you that in my experience Catholicism was the only one that made sense to me.

I also have a sister-in-law to be that converted and her mother went nuts on her. It made no sense esp. since she’d never even baptized her or ever taken her to church.

It’s hard when your parents aren’t supportive, but if it’s what you want then go for it.


#14

Earth
Good luck on your path to conversion and may God bless each step you take and smooth your path.

You are wise beyond your years. Perhaps mother is just feeling a bit left out of your faith life as you plan to convert. It’s not easy for a parent to not be able to share something as important as faith and beliefs with those they love and especially their children.

Keep on your path and pray for strength and courage often. As you continue your journey through RCIA and come into full communion with the church, answers to many of your questions can be answered. Yes, you can marry in the church even if your spouse is of a different faith. Many happy marriages are. Don’t be discouraged.

Good luck on your faith journey, speak to your local priest or deacon at the Catholic church about your search for conversion and they can help you. God Bless.


#15

It is not so much that rules/disciplines changed as their application has evolved.
for instance…my parents married in the 50’s. My father was Southern Baptist and did not convert to Catholicism until AFTER the marriage. He had been married before but by a justice of the peace. It was decided by the tribunal that his first marriage was not valid, that as a baptized Christian he was free to marry my mother but that he needed to promise (in writing) that their children would be brought up Catholic.
Again, my question to you is this: you are being drawn to Truth. I would think this quality you posess - wanting to know Truth - is a part of what makes you loveable. Your boyfriend loves you - he is the person you need to discuss this with, and not your mother. Anything that needs to be worked out before a wedding will be worked out if you are always willing to walk towards Truth.


#16

I’m in agreement with the last post.

Sometimes when I falter I have to remind myself. God IS Truth. All Truth small and large. Not one little bit of Truth is unimportant because not one little bit of God is unimportant.

:slight_smile:


#17

DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in these forums do not necessarily reflect those of Catholic Answers. For official apologetics resources please visit www.catholic.com.