Mom wants me to be a priest


#1

I am not posting this in the vocation section because I know that my vocation is marriage. My problem is, is that my mother thinks I should be a priest and she will not stop praying for it. I know God will not answer her prayers for what she wants if it is not in his plan. But I am concerned that her praying is somehow preventing me from meeting someone. Is this possible?
I have tried talking to her about it, but she gets very defensive and lies to me that she is not praying for it. But every once in a while my brother or sister will tell me that mom once again said something about me being a priest. She told my sister just the other day that the church is my bride. Through many hours of prayer, contemplation and talking to family and friends, God has let me know that my vocation is marriage.
How do I deal with this? I am picking up on it spiritually and it causes me anxiety, less the more I go to Adoration actually, but how do I deal with it if her prayers are preventing me from meeting someone?
Thanks.


#2

Oh Matt! I feel for you! I really do. My mother has been praying for me to become things all my life. I’ve always ended up some place else. If God wishes you to meet someone special, then it will happen when God has ordained it.

God provides us with what we need from Him. That is why we don’t always get what we ask for. God knows what’s best for us… even when we don’t. Just keep that in mind.

Your mother’s prayers are not preventing you from meeting your future spouse. No matter how hard she prays, you will only feel the calling to become a priest if God has chosen you to become one.

Pray for your mother that she will not allow her desires to overrule her faith and hurt her spiritually. Don’t be frustrated, your mother loves you so much she thinks you are worthy of becoming a priest. I think that’s beautiful.

You can be sure, no prayers ever go wasted. Some other mother’s son… perhaps someone you come in contact with… may become a priest. I recommend you take it as a calling to say the prayer for an increase to vocations to the priest hood. Our Church needs more good priests. :slight_smile:


#3

Ask her for her prayers. Say. “Mom would you pray that God’s plan for my life would come to be?”. Not anyone else’s plan just Gods.


#4

JMJ

Dear Matt,

May God’s perfect will be done in your life, I pray. Just trust in God, put your life in his hands and then try not to worry about it any futher. He knows best what is good for you and for all. :slight_smile:

:blessyou:

Kimberly


#5

I think this view of prayer is wrong, it assumes that prayers work like magic (evil magic in this case), and that if you somehow say something over and over and over what you say will happen.

If you are being called to marriage, then your mother’s prayers will not change this. Even if she prays that you never meet a woman, that prayer will not be answered because it is contrary to God’s plan for you.

For example if I started praying right now that a priest change his mind about being a priest, leave, and get married, that kind of prayer would not have an effect.

If prayer worked the way you’re afraid it works, we’d all have magical powers. But we don’t.


#6

Which is of course contradictory to:

"He replied, “Because you have so little faith. I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.”

He didn’t say nothing will be impossible for you as long as I wish it, he just said nothing will be impossible for you.

If everything was according to God’s plans, then there’d be no point of praying for anything, since people say God thinks very differently, it’d never happen.

You make your own future, regardless of God’s plans.


#7

you don’t deal with your mother’s spiritual life, and she does not deal with hers, you both deal with your own relationship with God. No God does allow the prayers of anyone, even mothers, to work against His Will. If she is that devout, as she no doubt is, then underlying all her prayer is the plea “Thy will be done,” and to the extent you cooperate with God in His plan for you life and continue to pray and discern as you are doing, and make your life decisions on that basis, that is what will happen.

Don’t debate with her, don’t even discuss it with her, simply thank her for her prayers whenever she mentions it. You are also not obligated to discuss any of this with your siblings.


#8

Haha, my mom prayed very specific prayers for my vocation, and none of it “came true”. (But it almost did so beware). :slight_smile:
If someone is praying for you, I think that God is listening and will use the prayers for your good, in his will, maybe in a way that you didn’t expect. It reminds me of how St. Therese of the Little Flower sends roses from Heaven, but not always physical roses, sometimes it’s rose-shaped objects or pictures of roses, or something called a “rose”. So maybe He will answer her prayer in an unexpected way so that both of you are happy. Maybe your sons will be priests. If you really desire His will, you have nothing to worry about. Like another poster said, just trust.


#9

Thank you everyone. A couple of you mentioned trust and frustration. It is my frustration that is getting in the way of trusting. As for my mom, it is partly that she wants something good for me, but more that she wants a son who is a priest. I know that God has His plan for me, but I also understand that each person has free will, and was checking to see if He allows prayers to disrupt his plans. Not that the prayers are changing the plan, but that they might be delaying, diverting or otherwise.

dakotagirl, its funny that you mention my sons being priests. Right after I posted last night I talked to my brother about this, and he said pretty much the same thing. Also that you mention St Therese, God recently brought me around to her parents Blessed Louis and Zelie Martin.
Thanks again everyone.


#10

I imagine this seems frustrating because it seems like she is not really praying or thinking about you, but about some imaginary son she wishes she had.

It is too bad, but probably a little more sad for your mom really.


#11

You know what’s funny… I’ve seen this personality in several people… who want their CHILDREN to be PROOF of how spiritual *they *are. These people also think they can CREATE that perfect image themselves through their “intense” prayers - pretty much BEGGING God to have external, physical PROOF for their own spirituality.

We can’t force our children to be saints… we have to pray for their OWN faith to grow and lead them to where GOD wants them to be - not what WE want as proof of our own spirituality.

It’s actually a very SELFISH prayer… :o


#12

Emily (who just posted before me)! That was fabulous!

I have two sons. All I want to say to anyone having this problem with moms is that when you hit 18, you are an adult. All decisions regarding your life are between you and God. You will live with them the rest of your life so be sure they are truly yours and not moms. She made hers already. :slight_smile:


#13

And I will take a slightly different take on this “Mom” and the “OP” who is so sure he knows God is not calling him to the priesthood …

Would you be equally upset if your mom was praying for you to be a doctor or engineer? How about a dentist?

As one poster stated - your Mom is probably praying that you answer Gods calling for you … now what is wrong with hoping that call is to the priesthood …

I hear people in my parish complain because they have difficulty understanding this or that priest [in the past 15 years we have had priests from India, 2 from Africa and one Vietnamese] … I want to ask them how many of their uncles, brothers or sons are priests? …

The reasons for reductions in priestly vocations and religious life are many but one is the attitude of the laity …

People complain about the priests … so what child hearing all the scorn and complaints would want to answer that ‘vocational call’

I asked a mother once if she would want her son [this family had one girl and one boy] to be a priest … She was aghast … absolutely not she replied … she wanted grandchildren and he had to carry on the family name! Would she want her daughter to become a nun … No!

Small families have parents wanting their children to 'succceed" in professions with high earnings and prestige …

I tell my grandson [who has many people praying for him to have a priestly vocation - if it be God’s will] that he must seek guidance in prayer … that he must consider - first - if God is calling him to the religious life … He can be whatever he wants to be but whatever that is should be conformed to the will of God … And [should he hear God’s call] he will be a terrific priest … if he marries he will be a wonderful husband and father … I know this because first and foremost he loves Jesus … God’s will be done.

We need to encourage young people to seek first for God, their lives will be far happier …

And as for your assurance that you are 'destined" by God for the married state … consider St. Monica and St… Augustine … Augustine had no desires to be a priest … he lived a life of sin and lived it so carnally he fathered a son … Augustine struggled against God’s desires and his mothers prayers … once praying … “God grant me the strength to be celebate, just not yet” …

Well we know how that turned out … Mother Monica prayed her son into Christianity - and look how that turned out :thumbsup:

Perhaps your angst is caused by your inability to truly discern what God wants for you … perhaps if you stopped struggling with your Mother’s prayers and focused upon your own prayer life… you would first and foremost love Jesus … then you would not worry about your mother’s prayers and only your own … without fighting against your percievd problem with an outcome … you be what God wants … and that, young man, is not known [in totality] until you move from this world to the next …

You may never marry even if you are not called to the priesthood …

You may marry and have a family …

You may marry and not be blessed with any children …

You may enter the priesthood …

You may become a monk …

You may have a variety of jobs/professions - who knows …

All these are possibilities … :wink:

Hopefully - the only certainty is that you will be a “Slave to Christ” … :thumbsup:

May God Bless your Mom - she sounds wonderful to me … :smiley:


#14

I pray that my sons’ love God, love neighbor, and be happy in the Lord. It doesn’t matter what they do: garbage man, cook, civil engineer, priest, doctor, etc. I don’t think a parents should project their own dreams and hopes on their child. I think we should simply pray for their salvation and watch them evolve, especially as they move to adulthood. Hopefully by then, we would have imparted as best we could, the faith, values, and a witness of the struggle to sustain a virtuous life in the challenges of life. God does the rest.


#15

YADA,
To start with, you are right my mom is wonderful. But at the same time she is controlling because she is afraid of her sons being hurt. Next, my mom does not have the right to tell me what God wants for me (only God has that right), so who are you to question me being sure that God is not calling me to the priesthood? I mean no agressiveness here, I am just wondering. As I stated I have spent many hours on this. It started when I was around 19-20 and I am now 36. It is not something I came around to quickly and is a big reason why I am not married. I had figure out about the priest thing first.

I agree with you about people interfering with their kid’s vocations and it is causing a shortage of priests. But at the same time, should a man be a priest if it is not his vocation just because of the shortage. I have met and been to churches where the priest maybe did not have a vocation and it was like the bull in the china shop.

And yes I would be equally upset if my mom was praying for me to be a doctor or engineer, because she has (engineer or teacher actually). Because it is not her life (and I hate calculus and would make an awful teacher). But I would not be greatly upset as I am not greatly upset at her praying for me to be a priest. I was upset, or more correctly, concerned that her praying for me to be a priest was interfering with meeting someone.

You said “who has many people praying for him to have a priestly vocation,” here you are doing the same thing as my mom, telling God what to do with someone instead of praying that God help him in whatever he chooses. She also adds on “God’s will be done” but with the aforementioned caveat that it be what she chose for God’s will.

Lastly, you are right about my angst being caused by my inability to truly discern what GOD wants for me and what I want for me. I know I did not mention this before, but I suffer from anxiety and as I have discerned that he does not want me to be a priest my anxiety level has gone down tremendously. Now if I can just avoid professors that require a class presentation I will have almost no anxiety left.


#16

Whoa … I am not questioning God’s call or lack there of for you - not my call :shrug:…

And I am not interfering with my Gson’s life nor telling God what to do … you can pray for someone - even a specific prayer - without it being a case of Telling God how it will be … :wink: … Have you read St. Augustine? …

My only caveat is that you stop worrying what your mother is praying about and spend your own time in prayer … God is all powerful - he surely can over ride your mother’s prayers - if He desires - and communicate His plan for you … That is in His job description :smiley: but you have to cooperate with His plan and freely accept it … of course you are also free to reject it [though I woulld not recommend that :rolleyes: ] …

I am currently looking for work and also trying to keep a business afloat … tough economic times… I bid projects and fill out job applications … searching and searching … and all the time I pray that I will conform my life to God’s plan … I have asked God for several positions and asked my friends to pray for them as well … but at all times, I want the project and / or job that our Lord desires for me … and I pray that I will apply for the position He wants me to. And hopefully I have or will :shrug: it is hard to tell, all I can do is pray and do my best …

Your mother is the same, she wants what is best for you … accept that and let her pray for you …

By the way - you are a priest [by virtue of your Baptism] - In fact you are a priest, a prophet and a king … so live your baptismal calling and share the Good News of the Gospel to the best of your ability … perhaps that will ease your anxiety :thumbsup:


#17

WOW that’s kind of interesting! My father always pushed me to be a nun!!! ALWAYS! He was like you can’t date because you are going to be GOD’s wife! I was like huh? I guess that’s why I did all the stupid things I did because I didn’t want to be a nun, I wanted a family and kids and all…But I shouldn’t have done what I did…I should have left things alone and moved on with life and trusted GOD in all He does…I have 3 kids, and after a couple of years ago and recently this year was told I couldn’t bare anymore children, am pg with the 4th…

Trust in GOD, keep on living your life to the fullest if your calling is for marriage, you will find the one! If not GOD will lead you in the right path! GOD BLESS! Pray!!!


#18

Hello again Matt73! Good news! There are terrific non-medical treatments for anxiety; very high success rate; church approved! As for discerning God’s Will? No one can do that in a vacuum. Spiritual directors or something like that can be very helpful. And for what it is worth, my experience is that God really doesn’t care what we specifically do but how we love and things like anxiety and depression can distort the message. Prayers


#19

Amen!!! It’s all about what God wants for each one of us not what anyone else necessarily wants us to do or be.I see this alot amongst individuals at times in the church trying to coerce and impose their will on somebody else and make them feel guilty if they want otherwise.The priesthood is a great calling and even though alot aren’t rushing to be a priest I feel it’s not for anyone to impose that on anyone.Someone might want to get married one day or be single who knows.I’ve personally had this happen to me on a few occasions and some even had the audacity to try to make me feel guilty because I wasn’t gung ho about what they pictured I should be.How dare anyone to try & manipulate and force their will on someone else(especially a person still a “baby” in faith)and make them feel destined to not ever achieve or be something other than.Very arrogant and selfish if you ask me.The way I see it since that person is so passionate about the sacrament of Holy Orders & telling other people that they should take up that sacrament and making them feel forced & destined to do so,why don’t they themselves do it and live what they talk and impose on the next person.Nothing wrong with Holy Orders at all & I commend anyone that chooses it because they know through their own personal relationship & faith with God that He chose that for them,but never should anyone be forced & manipulated into it against their own free will. Nothing loving in that.I cannot tell anyone what God has planned for them because I’m not God and it’s God’s call not mine or anyone elses. All I can do is just pray that everyone lets God in and fully trusts Him (not saying whoever it is doesn’t trust Him).Again, another great example of why to trust in God and not in people.God will never ever lead anyone astray but people will.God bless!!!:thumbsup::cool:


#20

Bailey2, I already have a prescription for anxiety. I say St. Bridget’ s fifteen prayers and the Rosary (try to) daily. And I try to walk my dogs a couple of nights during the week while saying the Rosary.

YADA, sorry if I took it wrong. The way I read it it sounded like my mom saying God’s will be done as long as he is a priest.

iluvmybabies, your dad sounds like my mom. She told my sister the other day that I am going to be a priest because the church is my bride.


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