CHRIST IS RISEN!
See if you can find a book called WITH GOD IN RUSSIA by Fr.Walter Ciszek, SJ. This is one of the books that changed my life.
I have had many “moments of Faith” also. Sometimes they are as simple as hearing our priest proclaim CHRIST IS RISEN at Resurrection Matins or singing Matins outside in chilly dawn and watching the Sun rise over the mountains as we sing about God creating the Light.
Other times, it was more profound. Visiting relatives in Communist Czecho-Slovakia in 1989 and sitting by myself during Divine Liturgy because my cousin had to stand behind a pillar in a small side chapel so the Secret Police wouldn’t see him, he was a teacher and would have lost his job. Going on the Calvary Pilgrimage and watching the peasant women climb the 40 concrete steps on their knees to the Station where Jesus carries His cross.
One of the most emotional was in the village where my grandparents were born and raised. I was staying with cousins who I had met for the 1st time. We went to Divine Liturgy and the Cantor came over to me, took to the front of the choir loft, handed me a prayer book and simply said “SING”. I turned to a hymn that I knew and just let loose. I could heads turning and looking up at me and my cousin wiping tears from her eyes. I finished and looked at the Cantor and his tear streake face and he said “We thought you had forgotten all this and us…” He thought because I lived here in America that I had lost my faith in God and the traditions of my Byzantine Rite ancestors. It was emotional for all of us…
This is a path you have to walk alone. We will be here to help you along when you stumble or question but we can’t make the decision for you, that’s between you and God.
I will light candles for you tomorrow at Divine Liturgy…
CHRIST IS RISEN!