Monetary inheritance or peace-what to do

Is it wrong or sinful to fake a relationship with a family member who has let it known to you that you are in their will and stand to inherit a large amount of money and property? The person has abused, berated, cursed, gossiped about and harrassed me for years. I have called to check on their health only becuse I feel this is all I have left in this relationship, and it is the Catholic thing to do. They are in their late 80’s.

After takling to them on the phone, each and everytime I feel like I have been dragged through the mud, and cannot function as a happy person for a day or so-as a matter of fact, I become a stressed out mess.

They are estranged from all other family except for a freeloading adult child. The will ties me to this freeloader, as a trustee of the property as well, and a large amount of cash allowing me to inherit this house worth almost a million dollars when the freeloader passes away. Until that time, I have to let them live there rent free and pay for repairs-I cannot sell. So I would be tied to harmful memories as well as drama. The freeloader is mentally unstable, and would end up homeless eventually if I walk away. This was expressed to me, and also adds a layer of guilt too. The freeloader is mostly not welcome in my home due to lifestyle which is a whole other story.

So the reason I would inherit is not because of any concern for me-it is to insure the freeloader has someone managing their property and payting taxes as they never worked for more than a month.

I am very conflicted as where this is coming from. How do I tell if this is God’s plan, a blessing for me for putting up with this for years or a test that I can be bought with money? Right now we could use the money for Catholic school and college, but is this an ill gotten gain?

Thabk you so much for you replies-what should I do? There will be no changes to this I was told take it or leave it-

I would hold on to what ever relationship is left with the elderly person because it is indeed the Christian thing to do and leave it at that. The mentally unstable child is probably that way as a result of being raised by this abusive person. I’m not sure what else to say other than ultimately it’s up to you whether you want to be tied to this family member and house for possibly decades, or not. Follow your own conscience.

It sounds like your own conscience has already been guiding you where you need to be. Love thy neighbour does not have a caveat that we only need to extend love where it is appreciated or reciprocated. Both of these people need your love - and you are a better person for being able to give it.

I was listening to a show on EWTN one day where a similar issue to this was raised, and the priest answering had some sage advice - on your day of judgment, which would you rather be explaining: why you stayed amidst the trials or why you walked away?

Is this really how you believe God operates?

Ill gotten? Unless the original earner of the money obtained it through illegal means, then no.

Do whatever you want to do after you pray about it.

As the trustee of the estate, once you are in control of it you can set up a third party through whom the adult child must go for their allowance and other needs (rather than calling you) such as an attorney or financial manager if the estate can afford it (which it sounds like it can).

Well, it’s a Christian thing to do to maintain some contact with this elderly person who may have mental health issues or other problems. However, you don’t have to have a lot of contact.
The other thing is, do you know for sure the person is leaving the estate to you (have you seen paperwork)? If you haven’t actually seen it, maybe it’s just talk. Even with a will, the adult child may still challenge the will, so you may still have problems in the future.

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