Moral dilemma!


#1

My wife and I have a real moral dilemma on our hands, and we need some help. For a few years, my wife has been going to a hairdresser, and he’s always done a good job, doesn’t charge much, and has always seemed like a nice guy. However, we recently found out that he is GAY and even has a BOYFRIEND. Should my wife continue to patronize this person? Is she supporting his lifestyle with her money? It’s probably not likely, but my wife is also afraid of getting AIDS or something like that from him.
But the problem doesn’t stop there - this person also claims to be “Catholic.” We know that he attends the Saturday night mass at our parish. Should we inform our priest of what we know? We usually attend Sunday morning mass, but we’ve thought that maybe we should go on Saturday night to make sure that he isn’t receiving the Eucharist. If we saw him in line, I don’t think I could sit still and let that happen.
I always hear about this kind of people, but we never expected our world to be so terribly upset by one. Help!


#2

[quote=sbcoral]Should my wife continue to patronize this person? Is she supporting his lifestyle with her money?
[/quote]

You are not supporting his lifestyle, you are supporting his livelyhood.

my wife is also afraid of getting AIDS or something like that from him.

that would be a reason to stop using his services

But the problem doesn’t stop there - this person also claims to be “Catholic.” We know that he attends the Saturday night mass at our parish. Should we inform our priest of what we know? We usually attend Sunday morning mass, but we’ve thought that maybe we should go on Saturday night to make sure that he isn’t receiving the Eucharist. If we saw him in line, I don’t think I could sit still and let that happen.

Take this question to your parish priest.

I always hear about this kind of people, but we never expected our world to be so terribly upset by one

Don’t let your bigotry towards “this kind of people” out weight your Christanity towards “this child of God.”


#3

Wow! I don’t think that you have any moral obligation to do more than pray for this guy. Also, I don’t think God cares if he cuts your hair. The fact is that you do a good thing by helping him support himself. We are not the police for God, who knows all that is going on anyway. If he partakes the Eucharist unworthily, St. Paul says that God will judge those who do. You might talk to him and become his friend, remembering that Jesus was called a friend of sinners too. Never condone his lifestyle, but aggressiveness will not win back his soul from destruction. That is his choice and in the hands of God. I would pray the Divine Mercy Chaplet and Rosary for him and perhaps fast and pray the St. Michael prayer as well. We don’t know this man’s heart…do we dare judge?

If, as you say, he really is Catholic, I suggest that you pull out your handy copy of the CCC and read up on all it says about homosexuality. It has a very clear and balanced statement on all this. It may help you to respond to him.

Finally, to my knowlege, I don’t think there is much risk of contracting HIV/Aids from him while he works on your hair. It takes body fluid exchange to do that and that sounds unlikely. Still, if your wife is that afraid … I can understand. The thing is that we all routinely interact with people who are Hiv positive and never know it, and are none the worse for it. Some may even be our friends…

We cannot condone a homosexual lifestyle at all, but we are commanded to go into all the world and preach the Good News. How can we do this if we will not even talk to those who have fallen? What if your neighbor was some other kind of sinner…maybe an ex-con? What then? All I can think of is the example that Jesus left us…

Pax vobiscum


#4

Instead of this situation being a “problem”, how about “opportunity” to evangelize this person for the Gospel of Truth. “This kind of people” are also precious in God’s eyes. It was no revelation to God that this person was living a gay lifestyle for the few years that your wife was seeing him for services. Try to put on God’s perspective, and how He may use this situation for His greater purposes (He’s in the buisness of saving souls from the darknessof sin).

Your wife has developed some level of rapport with this man as her hairdresser, and whether she continues for services or not, this positions her to have influence/access to dialogue with him. The same as the Catholic coworker (hairdresser) that I found had an abortion, or is cohabitating, or drinks excessively, or … I would prayfully give the evangelization aspect some consideration out of this whole unfolding scenario.


#5

[quote=sbcoral]My wife and I have a real moral dilemma on our hands, and we need some help. For a few years, my wife has been going to a hairdresser, and he’s always done a good job, doesn’t charge much, and has always seemed like a nice guy. However, we recently found out that he is GAY and even has a BOYFRIEND. Should my wife continue to patronize this person? Is she supporting his lifestyle with her money? It’s probably not likely, but my wife is also afraid of getting AIDS or something like that from him.
But the problem doesn’t stop there - this person also claims to be “Catholic.” We know that he attends the Saturday night mass at our parish. Should we inform our priest of what we know? We usually attend Sunday morning mass, but we’ve thought that maybe we should go on Saturday night to make sure that he isn’t receiving the Eucharist. If we saw him in line, I don’t think I could sit still and let that happen.
I always hear about this kind of people, but we never expected our world to be so terribly upset by one. Help!
[/quote]

This post is so ludicrous you must be hoping that we read it and respond before getting to Starbucks.


#6

There’s no reason to stop using the man’s services, and the chances of being infected with HIV by him are not nearly as good as the chances of the moon falling out of the sky tonight and wiping out every living thing on Earth.


#7

this has to be a complete joke…


#8

Come on people, this guy is asking for help and some of you criticize him for asking!:hmmm:

sbcoral,

I would probably recommend that your wife change hairdressers if it bothers her so much - why go and be stressed out? It is concerning that he could have AIDS/HIV and working with sharp scissors…not the best combo. I’m a Registered Nurse and I would be concerned about that too. Now, as far as him receiving Holy Communion, I think unless you know for certain that he is having sex with his boyfriend, and even then he could have gone to confession before Mass, you just have to leave that alone.

God bless,

Debbie


#9

[quote=Princess_Abby]this has to be a complete joke…
[/quote]

I see this as a serious question.


#10

That was mighty bigotedly of you. How do you justify your deeming him a bigot or assume that he is an intolerant person, as all bigots are.

He had some honest concerns, and while lacking in tactful delivery, was not being mean intentionally as far as i could detect.

Peace of the Lord be with you all!


#11

Hey Benedictus, on a scale of 1- 10 , I give your signature a perfect “00001010” :smiley:


#12

Thanks for the help, guys! I called my priest last night, Father O’Flannery, and he told me what he always says - “George, it’s really none of your business, but it’s between (that person) and God.” He told me the same thing last year, when I told him I saw the local peewee football coach in the drugstore with his wife buying a box of CONDOMS. (Yikes!)
My wife still hasn’t decided what to do about her hair. We have been reading the Catechism as much as we can (it’s a little dry, though!), and trying to decide what the most morally best thing we could do would be. I think she’s either going to start going to the Supercuts (like me!) or she’s going to have to have a face-to-face with Mr. Gay Hairdresser, and ask him if he is having homosexual relations, and, if so, if he is willing to repent in order to keep her business. He does do a good job with her bouffant, so I’m really hoping he changes his ways. Thanks, all!


#13

[quote=sbcoral]Thanks for the help, guys! I called my priest last night, Father O’Flannery, and he told me what he always says - “George, it’s really none of your business, but it’s between (that person) and God.” He told me the same thing last year, when I told him I saw the local peewee football coach in the drugstore with his wife buying a box of CONDOMS. (Yikes!)
[/quote]

Its people like you that remind me to draw my drapes.

My wife still hasn’t decided what to do about her hair.

I would go for a rich auburn and maybe a perm.

We have been reading the Catechism as much as we can (it’s a little dry, though!),

No one every confused it with this month’s issue of Maxim.

. I think she’s either going to start going to the Supercuts …

:bigyikes: Have you lost all sense.

she’s going to have to have a face-to-face with Mr. Gay Hairdresser, and ask him if he is having homosexual relations,

be sure she gets all the details. A proper moral analysis requires her to know EVERYTHING. Ask if he has any films he would share with her. A picture is worth a thousand words.


#14

to be morally consistent, if you decide you morally cannot continue to use the services of a gay hairdresser, you really should investigate the tellers at your bank, the clerks at your drive through fast food place, the person who takes your money at the gas station, the guy who changes your oil and services your car, your dentist, doctor, and all the nurses, lab people and staff in their offices, your barber, carpet cleaning company, septic tank guys, plumber, all those who provide a service of any kind. This could become very time consuming.


#15

Why stop with homosexuality? There are a lot of ways to be unchaste. Next time I go to the grocery store, I’ll ask the high school kid bagging my groceries if he masturbates.


#16

[quote=sbcoral]Thanks for the help, guys! I called my priest last night, Father O’Flannery, and he told me what he always says - “George, it’s really none of your business, but it’s between (that person) and God.” He told me the same thing last year, when I told him I saw the local peewee football coach in the drugstore with his wife buying a box of CONDOMS.
[/quote]

It would appear, from your current dilemma that you were not willing to take your priest’s advice. Have you ever read the scripture about removing the beam from your own eye, before removing the splinter from another’s?

Have you ever considered the possibility that he is not having sex with his roommate? Granted, maybe it is not high, but you seem to be rather certain that he is…

Have you ever stopped to consider that he just might be going to confession before he goes to Communion?

Have you ever stopped to consider that he must know that homosexual sex is a mortal sin, before he can commit it (given the abysmal track record of catechesis, it is entirely possible he does not have the requisite knowledge to commit a mortal sin)?

[quote=sbcoral] or she’s going to have to have a face-to-face with Mr. Gay Hairdresser, and ask him if he is having homosexual relations, and, if so, if he is willing to repent in order to keep her business.
[/quote]

It appears you still haven’t listened to the advice of your pastor. You might try repeating it until it sinks in.

And while you are being so morally correct with your hairdresser, since you seem to have the moral bent that you will not do business with any sinners, where is this going to stop? What about the (put whoever you are doing business with here) who is sleeping with their girlfriend/boyfriend? What about the ( x ) who reads pornography? Obvioulsy, in doing business with them, you would be supporting their purchase of more pornography! And what about the ( x ) who is having an affair? Or had an abortion? Or supports Planned Parenthood? Or steals from their boss? Or is involved in serious laible/slander? Or pick any of a multitude of serious sins?

Tell me, how much business are you going to conduct, with your attitude that you won’t deal with sinners? Met anyone who doesn’t sin?

Like your pastor said, it is none of your business; and furthermore, you are not going to be able to deal with anyone by your standards.

Instaead of confronting him (like that is really going to do any good; attack is such a loving way to bring sinners to repentance) why don’t you try praying for him, and if he does your wife’s hair well, keep going to him?


#17

[quote=sbcoral]Thanks for the help, guys! I called my priest last night, Father O’Flannery, and he told me what he always says - “George, it’s really none of your business, but it’s between (that person) and God.” He told me the same thing last year, when I told him I saw the local peewee football coach in the drugstore with his wife buying a box of CONDOMS. (Yikes!)
My wife still hasn’t decided what to do about her hair. We have been reading the Catechism as much as we can (it’s a little dry, though!), and trying to decide what the most morally best thing we could do would be. I think she’s either going to start going to the Supercuts (like me!) or she’s going to have to have a face-to-face with Mr. Gay Hairdresser, and ask him if he is having homosexual relations, and, if so, if he is willing to repent in order to keep her business. He does do a good job with her bouffant, so I’m really hoping he changes his ways. Thanks, all!
[/quote]

I can’t believe I stuck up for you, -----dhgray, i retract and apologize for my critisism of your critisism----------sbcoral, you sound pretty familiar with the ways of a “salon” for a guy, maybe your gay. If you are, I pray you stay chaste and change your ways :rolleyes:


#18

[quote=TheGarg]I can’t believe I stuck up for you, -----dhgray, i retract and apologize for my critisism of your critisism----------sbcoral, you sound pretty familiar with the ways of a “salon” for a guy,** maybe** your gay. If you are, I pray you stay chaste and change your ways :rolleyes:
[/quote]

Can the Moderator please close or modify this thread, the level of charity has seriously deteriorated. **sbcoral **needs charitable admonishment, instruction in bridging the gap between his faith and real life, not belittling and disrespect comments. :frowning:


#19

[quote=puzzleannie]to be morally consistent, if you decide you morally cannot continue to use the services of a gay hairdresser, you really should investigate the tellers at your bank, the clerks at your drive through fast food place, the person who takes your money at the gas station, the guy who changes your oil and services your car, your dentist, doctor, and all the nurses, lab people and staff in their offices, your barber, carpet cleaning company, septic tank guys, plumber, all those who provide a service of any kind. This could become very time consuming.
[/quote]

:amen: …


#20

Moderator PLEASE! Cool it everyone!


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