Firstly I’d like to apologize as I only ever post/look on this forum for help and never offer my help.
The dilemma I’m facing at the moment is the moral side of getting surgery. Basically since I was in my teens I’ve had unstable shoulder where they would randomly sublux (Partially dislocate). I’ve never really let this bother me and joined the Army with no real troubles. As time went on my they started to cause me more trouble, with the frequency of subluxions increasing. During a physically demanding course my shoulder caused me a bit of trouble however I took advantage of this to make my life easier physically speaking. After the course I saw the doctor and got an MRI which showed my shoulder was torn. I told the doc I didn’t want surgery a this point in time as I wanted to go overseas with the unit. Whilst there I again took advantage of my shoulder to once again make my life easier, in doing this I ended up seeing the doc and was told that I need surgery and that I was to get it there or back home. I decided to get it there and now my shoulder feels great.
After returning home my other shoulder gave out quite bad and following that I noticed it would grind and ‘Catch’. This got me thinking about seeing the doc, however didn’t take it too seriously. I then found out what work had install for us this year and with my head no longer in the game I immediately looked for a way out…My shoulder. So I saw the doc, got the MRI and once again it showed a tear. I was told that surgery isn’t a requirement, however if I wanted to stop it from popping out and make it more stable then surgery would be needed. Now this is where the moral side of things comes into play. My shoulder is damaged and does cause me troubles, however I’am able to live with this, it’s not ideal, but achievable. So in this sense, surgery seems like the way to go. However, I can’t help but feel like I’m doing something wrong as my main motive for getting surgery now is to get away from work. Yes I want to get it fixed but my main motive is time off work.
Whilst tossing up what to do I was moving my shoulder around and manipulating it causing it to crack, grind etc to ‘Prove’ to myself it was damaged, however looking back on it I feel like part of the reason why I did that was to aggravate the shoulder. I’m not sure. However now I feel like if I get the surgery, due to my motive and past actions, I’m sinning. But at the same time if I don’t get surgery it’s not going to get fixed and is going to continue to cause me problems, yes I can live with that, but it’s not ideal. At the same time I know I’m going to need it at some point in time, but I’m just not sure what to do?
Thanks for hearing me out and sorry for the life story.