Sorry this is long…I am starting this thread because a few times in my life I have had to choose whether to do an action like telling a boss about something someone else has done or keeping my mouth shut to avoid what I know people will think about what I have done. Both times this has happened to me (in such a big way), the person is a co-worker that I don’t really like or has totally opposite moral values than myself.
The first time, I was probably in my mid twenties. I was in the military and I had some pictures that I had taken at a party at my bosses house. I didn’t take the pictures to “prove” anything… you know, just to have pictures of a costume party. During the party someone grabbed my camera and took pictures of some of my younger co-workers drinking alcohol. During the party I did know it was going on but also felt that there wasn’t much I could do about it. When I developed the film, I wasn’t thrilled but I didn’t think much of it. A few months later this same boss and some of the people in the pictures came under investigation for some things. Part of what they were being investigated for was alcohol related, but part of it was about me… I had informed my boss that I walked in on the younger workers doing things that were wrong… sleeping on the job, making fake ID’s to get into bars during work hours. The boss did nothing to them, but instead started an all out attack on me. I got wrote up if all the work for the day didn’t get accomplished… even though the others were supposed to help and weren’t. Even if I asked the boss for help with the paperwork because I was busy and he said no (he was busy typing up an inventory list for his other job). Anyway, it came down to legal action. My lawyer wanted me to hand over these pictures as proof of the boss not being responsible…yada yada yada… but I refused even though I could have lost the case without them. During the entire 6 months of this ordeal, I prayed to know what was right to do. When the lawyer asked why I wouldn’t turn over evidence that would win my case I told him I couldn’t until I was sure I was doing it for the right reason and not just to win or to spite the boss.
Now, some almost 20 years later… I am having a similar problem deciding about telling the boss something about a co-worker. I work with a woman who is probably the most selfish person I have ever met. She gets jealous over everything, she lives a completely immoral life…etc… Anyway, over the past 2 1/2 years we have had some disputes. In fact, we don’t really get along at all, but we work together because we have to. After I had been here a year, she told me I wasn’t getting my raise I thought was coming. She is an hourly worker who happens to do payroll… I am salaried and I do all the computer work here. It certainly wasn’t her place to say that to me…but in the end, she was right…when I asked about the raise I was denied on the basis of someone elses performance. I could have accepted that, but she gloated… I told you so… kind of stuff. Anyway, between that and some really underhanded stuff she pulled (we both wanted to ask the boss if we could leave early on Fridays… her one week, me the next week and so on) she started scheduling dr appointments, nail appointments, hair, anything on my weeks to get off early so I never got to… but if I scheduled something on her Friday, I had better be back before her time to leave… There were many other things too… anyway, I got to the point where she did this to me one time too many when she decided to go to the boss and ask for every Friday off at half day… this meant I could never schedule anything on a Friday, even business meetings because I have to help answer phones when she isn’t here. We had a blow out fight… and she went running to the boss saying that I treat her mean because I didn’t get my raise. The boss talked to both of us… his counsel to me was to pray about it. But then he told us if we can’t get along he will fire us both because he couldn’t do business that way. I totally understood where he was coming from, so I have tried my best to get along. In the mean time we have had a few more arguments… I finally told her how selfish she is and how I don’t like her being aggressive with me any trying to bully me. She didn’t like that I sometimes cuss and how I get an attitude with her.