I have already read some of the thread about is contraception ever ok, but it did not really address my issue. So, here is my problem:
My spouse and I have been married for almost ten years and have not been able to conceive. We are okay with this as we trust in the will of God. We do not consider this to be a problem and we do not believe that we have “broken bodies” or anything like that. My spouse is in his sixties and I am forty something.
My problem is that I have debilitating migraines every month related to my cycle and have had them for at many years. I have extremely bad PMS and suffer emotionally and physically. Sometimes I want to give in and take birth control pills to ease my sufferings, but then I think about the fact that birth control pills kill any beginning life. Although we have not been able to conceive, it does not mean that God may not open my womb whenever He wills. Also, I have not lived a very good life in my early years and have welcomed the opportunity to do penance for my past and offer it up for the conversion of other sinners as well.
I just do not know what to do. Sometimes my suffering is so bad that I want to give up, but as I wrote above, I do not want to add onto my sins and do not want to lose out on any graces available for penances offered up in union with Christ’s sufferings…
My spouse is willing to do whatever I decide as he does not enjoy me when I have my problems. I wish we had a Spiritual Director, but we don’t, so this is why I decided to put out my question here.