Moral question

I needed to go w my husband to a medical procedure (he was dx w a form of cancer) and I told my boss, who told me to call in sick. I didnt feel right so I asked above him/her. This person told me to call in sick but not to tell. I went to file paper work for unpaid day and was advised that if this person told me it was ok, not to continue w paper work.

What should I do?

What is the moral problem?

Sick days as most all employers I know of can be used for your own illness or that of your family members. Two supervisors have told you the same thing.

So, I don’t understand what the problem is.

Ours are for our sickness onlh not family, although for obvius reasons that causes many people to call in sick to take care of a family member anhway. The higher level supervisor told me not to tell which is what made me uneasy. i donot know if he meant not to tell coworkers or those above him, but it made me anxious. I also realize I am close to a nervous breakdown and am not thinking clearly which is why I asked here. The higher level supervisor said Basically that I would be emotionally sick if i attempted to come in anyway. should I just let it go?

The higher level supervisor said Basically that I would be emotionally sick if i attempted to come in anyway.

Well… he’s right. It’s not reasonable to ask a person to put work before his family.

This is what every mom who takes care of a sick child does. yet, I feel like we are in a sense forced to lie in that case. I wish our days specifically stated it was okay to use them for a family member’s illness.

You will be taking what has become known as a “mental health day”. Sick days are not merely restricted to physical conditions, and sometimes sick days need to be more preventative than curative. Your attending this appoitnment with your husband will prevent a great emotional sickness, as your supervisor has told you.

Yes, let it go.

The moral thing to do in MHO is to graciously take the clear direction from your superiors. I’m assuming you went to them because its their job to deal with such issues. If you insist on requesting time off in another way it could make timekeeping / accounting work more difficult for everyone, and that wouldn’t be helpful.

Please don’t over think things at this point and be there for your husband as much as you possibly can.

May God Bless you, your husband and your whole family at this difficult time. Praying for his healing now…

I worked in an environment like yours back in the 80’s. It ended up being a very contentious issue, and as a shop stewart at the time, we fought for proper language in our contract to include family members. Seriously! If you don’t go over your alloted amount of sick days, and you have a reasonable legitimate reason to be off work - family included - I think this is more than okay.
Don’t stress over it and follow the instruction of your super.

In the meantime, I hope all goes well for you and your family!

Thank you

Thank you for the prayers.

i will recommend this change. I hope that we could eventually do that to ease some consciences.

I always thought ‘sick days’ were for you, or your family, being sick. A mother with a sick child, for instance.

Also, if you needed a doctor appt, you would need the day off or half-a-day off to go, that would be under ‘sick day’, also, even if you weren’t sick but needed an eye exam or such.

Your husband needs you, work sees that you need to be with him and 2 supervisors have given you the ok. It isn’t a sin, God sees your heart and you don’t want to do anything wrong, and you aren’t doing anything wrong. Go and be with him.

Prayers for your husband and hope healing and remission come quickly.

I don’t see a moral problem. You should do what your legitimate authorities over you directed you to do.

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