its God’s plan to be here so i able to share you y dilemma…i was born and raised as catholic for my mom used to be a cathechist(teaching cathechism) and my father was raised by a german missionary priest , been an altar boy till he grw up and became his driver for 38 long years, so summed it up that priest (Rev. Fr. Josef Reismann SVD +) also supported my studies from my primary schooling till i finished college. He also solemnized our marriage. so sad that he passed away when now my marriage is on the rock… i need spiritual adviser …me and my husband is married for 18 years (oct.9, 1988) those years i cant say that im happy but being a catholic i cant get out on this marriage for the sake of my kids and my vow to the God. im committing sin for my mind is somewhere and someone. im afraid that if i break this marriage people will condemn me as well as God will punish me,BUT…im committing sin…coz im pretending. Life is too short and i want to really feel happy. hoe could i if i cant break this marriage. i need guidance and enlightening words… can you post some site where i can have my faith be strong and bear all the things that upsets me? help for im not really happy with my husband…but i cant leave him…frankly speaking coz im not financially stable .
begin to love your husband. that is, to make an act of the will to want and promote and pray for his welfare. Do what you have to do each day in love, not out of duty, without grumbling.
You don’t say he is cruel or abusive, nor do you give any reason why there is the protection of children to consider, or of their rights to insure. If there were, it would not be wrong to leave him, even to divorce if that is the only legal way to protect yourselves. Of course remarriage would not be possible without annulment.
If the only problem is you are not happy, then the solution is to find your happiness in obedience to God’s will for your life, honoring your vows, finding happiness in your current state in love, and stop day-dreaming and fantasizing about another way of life, or another man. Even if you did leave your husband, you would rapidly find that the source of your unhappiness is not him, it is within you, and you have not escaped it.
thank you very much you directed me on the way where i should lead my life…and my family…i now realize how selffish i am and just thinking only of my own happiness and blaming others for my own fault…only thing is that…do we still need to live together even the fire is not burning? i find it hard to win back my husbands attention.and n return just wanted to set him free from any obligation he has for me…im really confuse…help me.
I would say to do all you do for Christ and out of love for Christ. Saint Therese of Liseux was able to turn even the most ordinary household chore into something holy because she did it in love for Christ. By loving your husband as Christ loves us, His Church, then you are truly living out your marriage vows. These loving actions will become habit and won’t be for selfish reasons and may be a good example for your husband, and in turn he will desire to do the same.
Do you feel loved? Are you showing love to your husband? Love is a verb. You have to act it out. If you are acting it out, but your husband doesn’t see your actions as love, try a different action. Read The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. His philosophy is that everybody has a"love language" or rather people feel/show love in five different ways…Quality Time, Acts of Service, Words of Confirmation, Physical Touch and Gifts. If you find out your husbands love language and act upon it, hopefully he will want to find out your language. It can be a book you read together. Just my opinion.
“Happiness” is fleeting and overrated.
Talk to some divorced couples and ask them how happy they are now.