Mormon wedding?????


#1

Hi guys,

I have been verbally invited to a very last-minute-planned wedding of a friend of mine. He is a “cradle” Catholic who is rarely practicing (I don’t think he went to mass at Easter). His soon-to-be-wife is a Mormon. I don’t know how “devout” she is, but I know she doesn’t like going to church with him at a Catholic church.

Anyway, so I’ve been looking up online about tradition and I can’t exactly figure out what it is I’m going to. Obviously he’s not an LDS, so what is their procedure for marrying an LDS girl to a non-LDS guy? What about guests? Who can attend? My reading shows that LDS weddings are for practicing Mormons only. Am I allowed in the building? It’s taking place at a mormon facility. I don’t know if they call them churches. Anyway. I’m a bit lost. I don’t want to go over there if I’m not going to be allowed in the building. I wish he had more time to convince her to become Catholic. I hate to see that issue go ignored, as it has always been a huge issue in my relationships (as it should be).

Also, what is the LDS policy on such things? I know as a Catholic that once I’m engaged, I have to wait at least 6 months before the ceremony in the Catholic Church. The time between proposal and the wedding ceremony itself in this case is under 3 weeks (yes, I think he’s insane).

Thanks for the info, especially from any LDS.

-Michael


#2

If he is not LDS they wont be getting married in a temple. So more than likely if it is held in a mormon church it will be a civil cerimony done by the local bishop. Anyone will be able to attend and more than likely it will be followed by a reception in the multicultural hall. Brides should get prizes for the best disquise of the basket ball hoops :).


#3

If I was LDS I would insist on the Temple for my wedding. Also I would have the Mormon Tabernacle Boys Choir there, I have never heard them, but I hear they are great.


#4

If not in the “temple” then where?.. I am not that familiar with the terminology. Is the temple what we would call “the church building”?.. If they won’t wed there, then where? In their fellowship hall (or equivalent structure)?

I am Catholic and I’m looking foward to the prospect of a full Catholic wedding mass. I don’t know if this is similar at all in the LDS.

-Michael


#5

Since I’m a catholic guy who married a good mormon girl, we had considered having it at one of our churches but settled on Vegas instead. So the ceremony is your typical wedding ceremony. The problems I’ve run into is the Catholic Church doesn’t recognize this ceremony and I haven’t been able to receive any of the sacraments. Hopefully I will be able to resolve this issue soon. Enjoy the wedding.


#6

The wedding you are describing will not be at a temple. Only members of the LDS with a temple recommend can go to the temple and since the bridegroom is not a LDS member, the wedding will not be in a temple. You definitely know when you’ve seen a temple by the sheer size and beauty of one. By your question, you have not seen one.


#7

[quote=SouthCoast]Hi guys,

I have been verbally invited to a very last-minute-planned wedding of a friend of mine. He is a “cradle” Catholic who is rarely practicing (I don’t think he went to mass at Easter). His soon-to-be-wife is a Mormon. I don’t know how “devout” she is, but I know she doesn’t like going to church with him at a Catholic church.

Anyway, so I’ve been looking up online about tradition and I can’t exactly figure out what it is I’m going to. Obviously he’s not an LDS, so what is their procedure for marrying an LDS girl to a non-LDS guy? What about guests? Who can attend? My reading shows that LDS weddings are for practicing Mormons only. Am I allowed in the building? It’s taking place at a mormon facility. I don’t know if they call them churches. Anyway. I’m a bit lost. I don’t want to go over there if I’m not going to be allowed in the building. I wish he had more time to convince her to become Catholic. I hate to see that issue go ignored, as it has always been a huge issue in my relationships (as it should be).

Also, what is the LDS policy on such things? I know as a Catholic that once I’m engaged, I have to wait at least 6 months before the ceremony in the Catholic Church. The time between proposal and the wedding ceremony itself in this case is under 3 weeks (yes, I think he’s insane).

Thanks for the info, especially from any LDS.

-Michael
[/quote]

 I am an LDS woman married to a Catholic man and we got married in Reno, Nevada by a regular Justice of the Peace.   They may choose to get married in a garden or their own home or the regular LDS church.  Until you get the invitation you won't know the address.  But, as for the wedding it will be just like all others you attend where people are married till death do they part.  

They would only be married in a Temple(of which there are 124+ world wide) if they are both practicing LDS with Temple recommends, then they would be married for eternity with future children sealed to them for eternity as a family. If that were the case you would be invited to the reception, but not the wedding.
Receptions vary, as all receptions do according to what they plan. They could have a dance or sit down dinner, or just refreshments and wedding cake and congratulations to the new couple. You have probably gone to weddings where couples are married by preachers or judges, this will be that kind of wedding. You will feel as comfortable as you would at any wedding. Depending on where it is held and how devout the bride is there will probably not be alchohol or coffee served. If it is not held in the church then those beverages could be served if that is what was planned by the couple. You might wait for the written invitation, or ask your friend where they are having the wedding. We know for sure it won’t be a Temple wedding, so put your mind at ease. It will be just an ordinary wedding.
BJ
:thumbsup:


#8

[quote=blueadept]Since I’m a catholic guy who married a good mormon girl, we had considered having it at one of our churches but settled on Vegas instead. So the ceremony is your typical wedding ceremony. The problems I’ve run into is the Catholic Church doesn’t recognize this ceremony and I haven’t been able to receive any of the sacraments. Hopefully I will be able to resolve this issue soon. Enjoy the wedding.
[/quote]

Different subject, but I noticed you had not been able to receive the Eucharist. My husband, who is Catholic, just got permission or forgiveness(not quite sure) to take the Eucharist and attend confession. He was told by a few priests that he could not, then one of the priests at his parish had him fill out some paperwork and send it with $150.00 to the Tribunal. The representatives of the Tribunal interviewed him by phone, told him his priest could have forgivin him and then they sent a retired priest to our home and the priest had him say a few hail Mary’s and some Our Fathers and said he could take the Eucharist from now on. At Easter he went to confession and his priest said he is forgiven. He now takes the Eucharist every Sunday. It is all very confusing to me, why it took three years of run around, but at least it is done now. So what I am saying is don’t give up eventually you get a priest or a tribunal who will absolve you of whatever is keeping you from the Sacraments and you will be able to partake again.
Good Luck,
BJ


#9

Hi Southcoast;

I’m Catholic - from a long line of Catholics. But my brother fell in love with a very nice LDS woman and decided to convert to the LDS religion so they could get “sealed for time and eternity” in an LDS temple as she had always dreamed.

Only LDS members with a “temple recommend” card can get into the temples. To get a “temple recommend” card you have to be a devout LDS member who has tithed for a full year, and you have to undergo a long interview process of some sort with your area’s LDS bishop. (BJ could probably give you more detail on this.)

Given your description of such a short amount of time from engagement to wedding, I doubt your friend’s wedding is going to be a “sealing” ceremony in the LDS temple, especially since you believe your friend is not converting. After the wedding your friend will face LOTS of pressure to convert if his bride’s family are all practicing LDS members. IMHO He has a real uphill battle if he wants to hold on to his Catholic faith. (Again, BJ can probably offer more insight into this, coming from a Catholic/LDS marriage, but it’s my perception that interfaith marriages with LDS members usually result in a conversion of one or the other.)

P.S. At my brother’s LDS temple wedding I stood in the parking lot of the very beautiful La Jolla, California temple with my parents while the ceremony took place inside. (FYI - Picture Cindarella’s castle and that’s pretty much what this temple looks like - from the outside.) To be honest, I still hold a bit of a grudge against the LDS church (not my brother and his wife or her family) about the exclusion rules, but I am happy that my brother and his wife got the ceremony they wanted. I suppose my feelings must be akin to how non-Catholics feel about being unable to receive the Eucharist.

Peace and Charity,


#10

Would this be a bad time to start looking for links/info/books to help LDS members come to Christ? :slight_smile:

-Michael


#11

Thank you BJ,
If I would have realized then what I know now, I would have insisted on at least a small wedding my church would have recognized so I wouldn’t be going through all this. The experience of the last 2 years has been worth it since I have found my faith in Christ. When the missionaries were pushing for me to pray about JS as a prophet, I told my wife I needed to figure out why I was Catholic first. I’m just completing the RCIA class at my church and feel more comfortable with everything. Because of my understanding of my faith now, I have multiple mortal sins to have absolved. My wife doesn’t fully understand why I haven’t been able to receive confession, but she is willing to do what is necessary and I’m willing to do what is necessary so she can maintain her temple recommend.


#12

[quote=blueadept]Thank you BJ,
If I would have realized then what I know now, I would have insisted on at least a small wedding my church would have recognized so I wouldn’t be going through all this. The experience of the last 2 years has been worth it since I have found my faith in Christ. When the missionaries were pushing for me to pray about JS as a prophet, I told my wife I needed to figure out why I was Catholic first. I’m just completing the RCIA class at my church and feel more comfortable with everything. Because of my understanding of my faith now, I have multiple mortal sins to have absolved. My wife doesn’t fully understand why I haven’t been able to receive confession, but she is willing to do what is necessary and I’m willing to do what is necessary so she can maintain her temple recommend.
[/quote]

You are on the right track, that is exactly what I have encouraged my husband to do is to find out what he believes and why. When we got married he was just going to mass every Sunday, and when he would come to the LDS church with me he thought he believed the same as I did. He did not even recognize scripture from the Book of Mormon as being different from the Catholic bible. We started reading the Bible together, he from the Catholic version and I from KJV. It was very educational for both of us. Of course the missionaries have visited, but have not been pushy, when we make it clear he is perfectly happy with his religion. We have them to dinner often. They call him Brother Colbert and he gets a kick out of that, and some of his best friends are members of the LDS church now.
If any one of you are bothered by missionaries, all you have to do is make it clear you have your own religion and are not interested in hearing about theirs.
We both respect each other’s beliefs and discuss them often without rancor. We attend each others churches every Sunday, and have found there is a lot of common beliefs, although there are some in this forum who will jump up and down with anger at me saying that.
Now, I have gotten totally off the topic and hope the wedding is fun
and the marriage is happy. Don’t be frightened of Mormons, they are just regular people like Catholics.
Some people have thought I was Catholic(just talking to me)when I say I have 6 children the first thing out of people’s mouths is “Oh you must be Catholic”.
BJ


#13

When we were getting married someone asked my wife if we were Mormon or Catholic since we both had so many kids. My wife said yes. lol. I enjoy reflecting on that. Reverence has been a problem for both of us at the others church, so we’ve stopped going with each other. D&C is what is being taught at bible study and it’s a lot to accept and listen to with my Catholic understanding. Maybe when they get back to old or new testament, I will go back with my wife. But we still read scripture and pray together and do love each other.


#14

[quote=SouthCoast]If not in the “temple” then where?.. I am not that familiar with the terminology. Is the temple what we would call “the church building”?.. If they won’t wed there, then where? In their fellowship hall (or equivalent structure)?

I am Catholic and I’m looking foward to the prospect of a full Catholic wedding mass. I don’t know if this is similar at all in the LDS.

-Michael
[/quote]

Temples are special places for Mormons, NOT synonmous with the ‘Tabernacle’ in Salt Lake City and not same thing as your neighborhood Mormon Chapel (also known as a ‘ward’ or as a ‘branch’), which is where Mormons meet weekly for worship; nor the much larger regionally-located buildings known as Stake Meetinghouses, which would be roughly similar to a diocesan headquarters. There are well over a hundred LDS Temples worldwide but there are thousands of Mormon chapels and hundreds of Stake Meetinghouses.

In the Temple, Mormons are sealed ‘for time and for eternity’ in marriage. Since one member of the couple in question is not a Mormon, they will NOT be able to be wed in a temple–both parties to a temple marriage must be Mormons in good standing, which requires them to each be interviewed by the leader of their ward or branch and issued a ‘temple recommend’ a sort of license to attend the temple. A recomend is only issued to Mormons who: pay a full tithe based upon their ‘gross’ annual income; who observe the Word of Wisdom and the Law of Chastity; who otherwise display exemplary Christian virtue; and who profess full faith and confidence in the Savior Jesus Christ, the LDS Church and especially in it’s leadership, and in Mormon teachings.

Temple Ritual for Mormons is rather bizarre and involves observing and participating in what amount to morality plays based upon several events drawn from the Bible and LDS Scripture. Accounts of the rituals can be found on the Internet, but it is difficult to attest to how reliable these accounts are–they are disseminated by former Mormons who have since usually become rabid critics of the LDS Church. Just as some have falsely or even accurately professed to have been Roman Catholic priests and then palmed off falsehoods as Catholic teaching or practice, so also the critics of Mormonism can sometimes be overzealous and sometimes quite obviously mercenary in their tactics without any regard for the facts.


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