So, today we had our First Friday mass and our priest said that it was MORTAL SIN not to attend the mass on the Holy days of Obligation.
My parents were having a Golf tournament on that day and my Driver is on his day off. The closest Church to my house is nearly a mile away. My parents would kill me if I walked all the way on my own. Heck, I don’t even know the church’s schedule!
So, what happens? If I go, that would be breaking my parent’s rules and that would be disrespectful towards them.
As (I’m assuming) a young man incapable of transporting yourself safely, the obligation you have to attend mass falls to your parents, not to you. As such, it is a mortal sin for them to allow / aide you in missing mass, but it is their sin, and not yours.
Are they Catholic? If so, why are they not attending mass? If they are attending mass, why don’t you just go with them? I don’t think a golf tournament counts as justification to miss mass… unless it’s a big charity event, and they’ll raise a lot of money for some worthwhile cause… then maybe… they’d have to ask their priest.
Thought I’d mention something else – have you asked your parents to take you to Mass and come get you when it is over? Or is that out of the question? I often do that on Sunday and my mother can’t go to Mass.
Also, as been said, a golf tournament is not really a just cause to miss Mass, if they know Holy Days and are Catholic, but that would be their sin, not yours.
That is a really high-class problem, but a problem nonetheless…
Could you get a ride from one of your neighbors…‘borrow’ their driver?
Why can’t you walk a mile…is it un-safe?
Could they drop you off and you could get a ride back with a fellow catholic?
You have a bicycle? Golf cart (an extra one of course)?
Does the parish have more than one Mass you would be able to attend to fulfill the obligation? It might be different on college campuses, but on holy days of obligation we have at least three masses on different days to be sure everyone can attend. Also, have you asked anyone you know from church to give you a ride? One mile away doesn’t really sound that far.
If your parents can be off at a golf tournament, you attend a private Opus Dei school, and your family has a “driver”, it’s obvious you are quite wealthy and your neighborhood is likely very upscale and quite safe to walk to your nearby Church. If safety is that much of an issue, then you surely can afford a taxi…
Me and my family go (try our best) to mass every Sunday but the day of obligation is on a Saturday. Is it okay to go to Sunday mass instead of the one on Saturday?
EDIT: Another problem. My dad is always on duty (he’s a surgeon). He gets patients all the time and is barely at home. If my parents were to cancel the tournament, my dad would still be THIS busy. Is it a mortal sin for him if he is not able to go because of work?
Wait, if you miss on a Sunday you go on a Monday? When? Aren’t you in school? Your father is working, what about your mother? And no, it is NOT the same.
The way that everybody wins is that people go when they are supposed to go.
As another poster noted, if your father gets paged while at Mass, HE goes. The rest of you (you and your mother) stay. Then you either have your driver or a taxi take you home if you can’t walk.
If your parents have decided to go ‘someplace’ on a Sunday, you go to the Saturday vigil and same rule as above.
If they decide to spend a week or two on vacation, you go to the nearest church THERE. Same rules.
You seem to be a very conscientious and faithful young man–good for you. Your faith and love could be what is needed for your father and mother to rekindle THEIR faith. They are of the generation that didn’t receive the best teaching in some areas and I know many of their age and even older who honestly think that Mass is ‘optional’ and can be disregarded if they have plans, are tired, want to sleep in, are ‘too busy’, etc. etc. And of course with them being your parents and you owing them obedience, naturally you’re worried that you will seem as though you are questioning their faith/intelligence when you disagree with what they say is ‘all right’. So I think you should enlist your priest ‘on your side’ and have him explain “Da Rules”.
Your parents may disagree. And as long as you are under their roof, you will have to abide if they refuse to allow YOU to go (you can’t walk, you can’t be driven, etc.) but what you do in this case is to: PRAY. Offer it up. Tell Jesus that you love Him and want to be with Him but you cannot. Ask Him to enlighten your family. Pray to the Holy Family. Pray to all the saints you can.
And while you do this, try to be as polite and respectful to your parents as possible. Model the best possible Christian behavior to them. Tell them how much you love them and how much God loves them. Try to find common ground. Ask them questions about their lives at your age (that might give you some insight as to why they feel as they do now). Tell them how much you value that they baptized you as a Catholic and gave you the faith and how much it means to you.
You are 15 and can’t walk a little over a mile to Mass? When I was 7 years old I was walking a mile to Mass alone or with friends, sometimes in the snow and rain (I know that is so cliche). Sounds like you are making excuses. The obligation to attend Mass is a serious one. There is always a way to make it. It may not be convenient (like attending a 6AM Mass), but that’s better than committing a mortal sin.