So does anyone else feel so guilty after you’ve committed a mortal sin? Almost a self loathing and sadness?
Yes, you’re not alone, but I’m consoled by Julian of Norwich’s parable of the Lord and Servant:
Our courteous Lord willeth not that His servants despair, for often nor for grievous falling: for our falling hindereth not Him to love us. Peace and love are ever in us, being and working; but we be not alway in peace and in love. But He willeth that we take heed thus that He is Ground of all our whole life in love; and furthermore that He is our everlasting Keeper and mightily defendeth us against our enemies, that be full fell and fierce upon us;—and so much our need is the more for we give them occasion by our falling.
I think we all do. Mother Angelica… God bless her… she says sinning is like falling in the mud and getting dirty.
From Answers Not Promises by Mother M. Angelica…
Pg 56 - 57 The Need to Repent:
Repentance means saying your sorry, but it doesn’t mean wallowing in guilt and shame or beating yourself up for committing this sin or that. Imagine three persons: a good person, a bad person, and a saint. All three fall into a big, juicy mud puddle, which represents sin.
What does the good person do? Well, the good person falls in and thinks it’s the very end of the universe. He can’t believe he blew it. He looks at the mud all over him and he wonders how many people will notice it. He continues to sit there lamenting over it and feeling sorry for himself. And then, finally, he looks up and asks for forgiveness. “I’m sorry, Lord,” he says. “I should have known better. I’m the lowest of the low. I hate myself. No punishment is too great for me.” And on and on.
The bad person is equally predictable. He didn’t fall into the mud puddle, he dived in it, pouring mud all over himself. He enjoys the mud.
But watch the saint now. The saint, remember, is not perfect, but he is holly. He will make mistakes, But his response is what sets him apart. For the saint falls into the mud puddle and instantly stands up, his eyes focused on God, asking for forgiveness immediately with a truly contrite heart. He doesn’t dwell on his mistake by wringing his hands or by wondering what others will think of him or by focusing on himself. He turns to obey God with haste and humility, and he quickly moves on, determined never to make that mistake again.
When we fail to obey the Commandments, when we fall into sin or toy with temptation, our first inclination must be to repent. God in His Mercy will accept our plea for forgiveness. He will forgive us, and then we must move on. Obviously, God knows everything we do. He knows when we mightily overcome sin and He knows when we fall. The more we go to Him for forgiveness, the closer we will be to Him, and the more, as saints, we will become like Him.
Hope this helps.
I actually HAD committed mortal sin. A saintly priest coaxed me into confession over a period of MONTHS through my coming to him to express my anger about OTHER PEOPLE who I perceived did me wrong. For any of you who are familiar with AA, my confession ended up to be like a 5th step, a life confession. A year later I was still thanking him. He became my sp. dir. since he was trained as such.
Doesn’t matter how bad we sin, we are loved with a love so great we cannot imagine it.
oops, I had to read these posts again… gee, I thought I was the only person who ever committed a mortal sin! Sweet relief!
that emotion or experience can actually be a blessing called compunction, some people use the words “convicted of sin” to express a similar awareness. It can be the beginning of true conversion from that sin, especially a habitual sin.
Thank you all very much :), it helped indeed. God Bless!