Most practical christian response

ok, i think i need to be more specific with my questions

what would be the most practical response to someone who commits a public sin or at least with noticeable consequences

let’s say unwed mother repents of her actions hypothetically, she can keep the child and intends to raise it in the catholic faith. is this automatically always going to be scandalous? are shame and scorn from the community really necessary after the person has confessed?

but without the stigma, does it make the sin seem ok?

i think that’s what i’m confused about. sorry to keep bringing this up but i can’t really think of any other examples

When someone sincerely repents, then God has forgotten their sin, and so should everyone else.

However, parents can use this as a teaching moment for their children who are old enough to understand.
The sacrament of Marriage is the best place for a child to be born.

I don’t think it’s anyone’s business. Either before or after the apology. I mean if you’re talking about in the past when people used to really look down on this. Well that was a type of judging. And we’re all told not to do that. We’re not supposed to be judging like that. So of course it’s a problem when people do it anyway. It’s not a scandal until someone makes it one. By judging it that way. And since no one should be doing that. The real scandal would become the fact that it became a scandal. Because technically it’s not allowed to do that. To do that would be a real and total failing. In a scandalous way.

But here’s the paradox. Because if no one judges. If no one singles that out. How can they warn their own kids not to follow that example? How can they steer their own ships if they’re supposed to be oblivious to the other ones out there. And what they’re doing? So Yeah. I can see why you might be a bit confused. I can see where this might make for a double-standard. But I mean I think it comes down to judging in general. I mean we have to make small judgements to decide what’s good and what’s bad for us.

But what we’re not supposed to do is condemn. We’re not supposed to shun that person who’s fallen. We’re not supposed to find someone fallen. Someone broken and trying. And just decide they can’t get back up. But I mean it’s ok to tell your son that it’s probably not a good idea to visit that girl alone at her house. At night. Because she’s seen the other side of that at least once already. So there’s a chance she’s up for more. Not a confirmed fact. But a chance. So yeah. A bit of a double-standard. But I mean people are good at that. They’re usually pretty good at doing two opposite things. And keeping them just far enough apart so they don’t really notice. Just look at some of my replies for evidence of that.

Peace angel.


The way I see it is that if I am not in a position of authority, my situation wrt others and their sins (on a casual level) is to be nice to them, and to pray for them.

If our relations are less than casual, then it might become the case where I need to give fraternal correction (admonishing the sinner, one of the Spiritual Acts of Mercy), if I thought there was a chance that it would do any good.

We are not called to “respond”.
We are called to understand that some things are immoral, and to avoid them ourselves.
Judgment is for the Lord alone.
A better “response” would be to pray for the conversion of the person in question.


(And keep in mind that simply being a single parent doesn’t indicate that a person has committed any wrongdoing at all, and that even if he or she has, repentance and forgiveness may have been sought already.)

well, i’m thinking of in the context where forgiveness already being sought.

what if it happened to a friend of yours for example, or a kid you know that had a good reputation but messed up.

they’ve confessed it. what good does it do if everyone keeps pointing out their sin? or treating their innocent child differently because of it? that’s sort of what i’m getting at

maybe your church sin’t like this, but i know mine has its fair share of gossip possies. let’s say that i unfortunately fell in to this situation (don’t worry, not planning on it) but we all have temptations. i don’t think i could show my face anywhere because i’m pretty well known around here. everyone would judge and even if i went to confession, i don’t think i would ever get a clean slate even if i tried to do the responsible thing after.

that’s sort of what i’m getting at. we all have sins but it’s just that most are not as public or visible.

teachable moment, maybe, but beyond that, i think we should just let it go, shouldn’t we? the problem becomes the person in question is constantly being used as “teaching material” for other people and it never gets let go.

My 2 cents?

From the “friends” that have always filled you with questions, and the fact that you say that there’s a gossip posse at your parish, I would find a new parish.

well, if i know someone in that situation and they’ve repented, no point continuing to remind them of their sin, right?

i would just be a friend if they need it. help with their kid if that’s required.

what good does constant finger pointing do, in that circumstance? and treating the person like their sin is worse than ours

yes, it may be immoral but sometimes, what’s done is done, there’s not going back and undoing it. so why constantly dig up someone else’s past?

i don’t know, a lot of people seem to do this to others. am i the only one who thinks it’s unproductive and mean?

What should the response be? Love your neighbor as yourself. Period. End of discussion.

Surely we all know the answers to the questions you pose? If not, then we fail to understand the meaning of repentance and forgiveness. And we fail to love.

It is hard to answer your questions because I don’t know the make-up of the Church you are dealing with.

My small mission Church is primarily made up of sweet elderly gray haired ladies such as myself. Most of us have grandchildren (whom we love dearly) who have given us great-grandchildren (whom we love dearly) without bothering to get married. We have watched how the world has turned upside down. We also know the ways in which we have participated in these changes. We are often acutely aware of the mistakes we have made.

There is no one I know personally in my Church who will cast the first stone because we understand the problems young people are facing these days.

We love, we pray, we hope and we care.

And we rejoice when one of our children - baby and all - come home to Christ.

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