Most priests know far more about marriage than most married people do


#266

No. Priests learn about all of human nature in the confessional.


#267

That’s not really what it’s for.


#268

With regard to MARRIAGE, they only learn about the specific problems of (usually practicing) Catholic couples.


#269

Yes but it’s a byproduct of hearing people explain why they do what they do.


#270

Not to mention that what is considered a “problem” within a marriage might not necessarily be a sin, so it won’t make it to confession.


#271

Have any priests actually told you this, or are your statements just conjecture?


#272

It’s in my posts.


#273

Right. I’ve been to confession a fair bit, and I’ve never done more than just state my sins (in the briefest possible terms) and say my act of contrition. I’m not spilling my guts about my marriage to my pastor. If I have a problem with my husband, I talk to my husband. I might say, “I lost my temper” to my confessor, but that’s it.


#274

In all honesty, you’ll get a lot more insight into me from my online posting on CAF from the last 5 years than if you had a recording or transcript of all of my confessions of the past 20 years.

I explain my motivations and what makes me tick on CAF in a way that I don’t in confession.


#275

I think many, many things within a marriage that could be considered “problems” are not in any way “sinful” so would never be confessed. Disagreements about how to spend money, how to raise children, how to reconcile differing desires regarding leisure time are just three. There are many more. Priests have no children, so don’t deal with that problem, and with no human spouse, they can go where they want on vacation, spend what leisure time they have as they choose.


#276

Right.

It’s possible to argue in a sinful manner, but just the disagreement alone is not a sin.

A diocesan priest has a lot more freedom to do as he chooses in his free time than a married person with a growing family does.

It’s like St. Paul says in 1 Corinthians 7:

“The unmarried man is anxious about the affairs of the Lord, how to please the Lord; 33 but the married man is anxious about worldly affairs, how to please his wife, 34 and his interests are divided. And the unmarried woman or girl is anxious about the affairs of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit; but the married woman is anxious about worldly affairs, how to please her husband.”

St. Paul isn’t criticizing the married, he’s just stating a fact about the difference between the two stations of life at their best–the married person is unavoidably pulled in more directions.

The up side is that the married person is less likely to fall into sloth, as they have people around them poking and prodding them to do their duty, in a way that the single person does not.


#277

What is the most intimate?


#278

Empathy can help in the effective communication of the truth.


#279

Nah. The best way to communicate the truth is to tell someone they’re a prideful complainer. Works every time.


#280

Interesting advice. Life is full of routine and not every moment needs to be earth-shattering. I’ll take my routine kisses as well as the special ones. Going on 17 happily-married years and it hasn’t hurt us yet.


#281

Not certain that it does. Often leads to joint excuse making.


#282

Nah–routine kisses lead to better kisses when there’s more time and inclination.


#283

Every moment is a moment for us to add enough love to “rejoice”. It says so in Scripture.

“Rejoice always, I say again rejoice!”

It often takes just a little spur of love - of happy effort - to help ones bride’s outlook and mood…a bit more love in a kiss…and we must do what we can to make their life more pleasant and to help them know once again that they are loved.

It’s phenomenal advice, inexhaustible.

No routine kisses.


#284

Laziness and excuse making.


#285

Receiving the Eucharist.

Totally unitive and infinitely fruitful.


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