Most priests know far more about marriage than most married people do


No I am talking about concrete issues, just not your particulars.

I am talking about all the reasons that lead to ungenerosity in a marriage, to the nursing of resentment, to the tiredness, to the joys, to the work related to family life, to the cases of “rights claiming”, to “territorialism”, to sources of selfishness, to lack of charity, to impatience, to ugly vanity and pride, to any source of disunity in a marriage, to laziness, to a lack of vitality in a marriage, to worry, to jealousy, to lust, to acts of self-seeking, to unopeness to life.

Those are issues that a priest can help immeasurably with, and are obviously and clearly part of the topic.


Edward, why is this so important to you? All that you list represents only the dark side of some marriages. If that is the priest’s source of greater knowledge it is certainly slanted as well as theoretical since it is not he who is living in such a marriage.


I may know a lot about India but I have not walked on its ground and breathed its air or lived there. I have talked with many, many Indians and read all about it though. I suspect the same is true with priests and marriage.


As @Shakuhachi has pointed out, I see the intellectual abstraction, but not the concrete particulars, and I am looking well enough and I am intelligent enough.


I specifically listed “joys”.

You’re not a counter are you?

Marriages don’t go off the rails because of the Christ like generosity that the couple shares with each other and the world around them.

Marriages don’t flounder because of patience, acts of charity, chaste love.

I think you just want to disrupt a thread that you don’t like.


True. I knew a lot - intellectually - about Switzerland before I ever set foot there. But when I actually lived there, when I was in relationship with the country, I saw, and lived, many things I could not have known had I simply read about Switzerland in books or saw films or talked to others, even the Swiss. To really know Switzerland, I had to experience it myself.


How dare you! Your post is litter! Now sit up straight and mind your manners before Edward smacks you with a ruler, young man.

Exactly. The need for everyone to fall in line is…intense.


There’s nothing intellectually abstract about “no routine kisses”, acts of charity, demonstrations of patience, acts of unity, acts of self-denial, acts open to life.

Nearly every post above of mine is filled with concrete aspects of marriage…

There’s a subclass of cranks here who aren’t open to the work that a priest could help with in these very practical matters


Surely you aren’t suggesting that non Catholics are incapable of love?


No. I’m saying that the source of their love is God, spiritually and physically present in the Eucharist. Even though they don’t receive, the world benefits mystically from the presence of Jesus in the Mass and in the Tabernacles.


“Subclass of cranks” now is it?

You say nothing intellectual about acts of charity, demonstrations of patience, acts of unity, acts of self-denial, acts open to life. By the very fact that you are speaking in generalities you make them abstract.



I think what is going on here is a bit of lasciviousness. There’s a crowd of people that that really do want to get into their own personal stories and issues…sort of in a sharing/gossipy way…they want names, dates, and other personal details.

Anything that stops short of titillating details is characterized as intellectualism or generalities or abstractions.

It’s clearer now what you want.


“Routine kiss” is very abstract. What, exactly, is a “routine kiss?”


I describe the meaning above, with about 5 examples.


That’s it for me. I wont tolerate insults.

God bless you. I am done here.


Obviously. You seem to relish disagreement for the sake of “winning” the argument.

Most married people know a lot about their own marriage and have been privy to a good amount of sharing from family, friends, co-workers & acquaintances about their own not to mention a lot personal observation and experience as the decades pass.

There are always people who are a little clueless about personal relationships due to a variety of reasons.


Sure. They aren’t in an intimate relationship with one specific person who they’ve fathered biological children with and raised them through all stages of growth, living in the same household, for 25 + years.

…thousands might be an overestimation. They may hear of great detail from some couples, or from only one side of the equation or some people might share more generally but yes, priests do often hear from married people who are seeking advice about their marriages .

They, most likely, know about a broader range of issues that affect many marriages and may hear about some more private things that some people wouldn’t discuss with anyone but a priest. A lot of this is probably pretty subjective when you get down to individual priests though. They, like the rest of the Body of Christ, have a broad range of personalities, age, experience and open-ness. Some priests are more approachable than others so they would have more experience than ones who, just by their personality, age or even time demands, most people wouldn’t feel comfortable talking to or trust their ability to give good advice.

A lot of priests can be an excellent source of advice or guidance for marriage and shouldn’t be discounted just because they aren’t married themselves. On the other hand, I wouldn’t say that every priest will always be a sure bet to handle all your marriage counseling.


A good priest probably hears more than 50 confessions a week.

The priest that I know best hears probably more than hundred every week.


In your estimation. Have you ever asked him? That seems a little high. That would be anywhere from 8-15 confessions a day, year round. How much time could they possibly spend listening to people in “great detail” along with all the other responsibilities in running a parish?


It is only by, with, and through the Eucharist that provides real, sacramental intimacy and graces within a marriage!

“The entire Christian life bears the mark of the spousal love of Christ and the Church. Already Baptism, the entry into the People of God, is a nuptial mystery; it is so to speak the nuptial bath. which precedes the wedding feast, the Eucharist. Christian marriage in its turn becomes an efficacious sign, the sacrament of the covenant of Christ and the Church. Since it signifies and communicates grace, marriage between baptized persons is a true sacrament of the New Covenant.” CCC -1617


I know his schedule very well. He gives 4 recollections a week, each recollection has about 30 men, or 30 women, most seek confession before, or in the break in the middle, or afterward. Assume only 20 men or 20 women do…that’s 80 just in the recollections…he spends several hours on Friday and Saturdays in the box…so another 30 each day…plus walkins, the people who live with him, other people who seek him for spiritual direction normally get a confession too…yes…well over 150 easily a week.

Our parish priests see likely 75-100 a week…3 hours on Saturday nonstop…1.5 hours on Wednesday, 1 hour on Tuesday, before Daily Mass, hospital hours, during office hours.


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