Mother and stepfather broke up


#1

Well, after a very long and slow death of their relationship, my mother informed me yesterday that she and my stepfather are no longer living together and are even seeing other people.

My stepfather is the one who moved out apparently. He travels a lot for his work anyway. I’m not sure why I feel so upset about the idea of him being gone, we were never really that close. Maybe I’m more upset at the idea of my mom being alone, even though she tells me she’s never been happier and is learning to appreciate herself more and see life for the important things now. Because she’s so happy now and is making God a part of her everyday life we’re now closer than we’ve ever been, which makes me feel kind of guilty, that I could be so glad that they’ve seperated because it means my mom and I are closer. Is it selfish of me to feel that way?

I also worry for my brother to, because I know he was closer to my stepdad than I was and I don’t know if he ever really forgave our biological father for leaving.

That’s another thing, I know it’s not right, but I can’t help but feel resentful toward my father who is now happily remarried with two new kids and living in another state.

How sick is that? I resent him for being happy.

I can’t say I didn’t see this coming though. I’ve been at college for the last year or so and my mom told me they were having problems because she was overworking herself and he was drinking too much because of problems he was having with his buisness. I don’t know if they seperated and then became happier, or if they sort of rediscovered themselves and then realized they weren’t happy together. It’s just hard to take after them being together for over 15 years.

And this didn’t really start to happen until I went to college and started to really find my way and feel like I was figuring out my path in life. I can’t help but wonder, did this have anything to do with me? Did they finally realize they didn’t want to be together once they could both take their minds of me and making sure I was alright? Or did they stay together all that time and force themselves to be unhappy for my sake?

Wow, I’m going on and on :o . I just have so many conflicting emotions, I don’t know what to think or feel. I have no idea where I’m going with this, I guess I just needed to get my thoughts out.

Thank you to anyone who listened.


#2

It is so sad whenever a marriage breaks up… I don’t think that any marriage between two people who are not addicts are abusers is beyond repair. Perhaps some time apart will lead to their reconciliation. Was your step father a decent guy? You mentioned her getting closer to God…was he hindering her from God? It is okay for you to feel some happiness that you get more of your mom now that she is single…it must have been hard for you to have your parents seperate and branch off into new families. I personally feel that divorced parents should not date until their last child has turned 18.


#3

It’s ok, when my exhusband wasn’t in the picture it gave the kids some sadness but super happy that I was no longer understress nor sad anymore and they were happy that I was theirs only…

It’s understandable…Anyhow, I am sorry for what you are going through…I hope things get better soon! And sometimes a little space helps you know?! And as long as she’s taking care of herself and you and your siblings then that’s a good thing…

Have faith in GOD that things will work out for the best! :smiley: Hang in there, GOD bless!


#4

Loosing a family member, even one you didn’t know or like well is tough. One brothers and his fiancée called their marriage off. They’d been together for 5 years, and acquaintances before that. I was really, really saddened to hear the news. It took me a while to digest and accept. Even though she wasn’t officially family, she was always around, and with 3 brothers, I can use all the females I can get!!!

That being said very few people understood how I felt. Most told me that I was being silly or other less flattering things.

I still miss her being around from time to time.

Let yourself grieve the loss, its a natural thing to do.


#5

DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in these forums do not necessarily reflect those of Catholic Answers. For official apologetics resources please visit www.catholic.com.