Mother/Daughter Relationship Terrible


#1

I am not going to give you my life story or her life story or anything like that. What I want to ask is, if after a fight that I knew I should not have gotten into for respect of my mother, my mother says that she will never forgive me, does that have any effect on Confession? I feel like it shouldn’t, but I don’t know.


#2

Whether your mother forgives you has no bearing on whether God will forgive you. Sorry for the fight. I’m a mother of daughters and I’m a daughter with a mother. It’s sometimes a minefield, isn’t it? :wink: If you apologized to your mother and sincerely tried to make amends, and confessed your part in it and did your penance, it doesn’t matter what your mother says. Her lack of forgiveness is between her and God.

Let her cool down. I suspect someday she will want to talk to you again.

Just pray for your mom. Pray for healing. And don’t ignore her on her birthday, no matter what she says. Matter of fact, if your birthday is coming up, send her a card thanking her for what she has given you in life. No one ever thanks the mom on the kid’s birthday.


#3

Lord of the Powers be with us, for in times of distress we have no other help but You.
Lord of the Powers, have mercy on us.


#4

Speaking as a mom of a 14 yo daughter, it sounds to me as if your mom is really hurt and angry right now. Let her cool off and then try again to apologize. I always thought once I was a parent I would be able to set aside my personal feelings and instead just focus on my children, what they were saying to me and what they needed. Well, I try to do that but you know, moms love their kids more than anything. And even thought we’re older and supposedly more mature, since we love our kids so much they are also able to hurt us in an equal amount. So sometimes we’re hurt and angry and we say things we don’t mean. I expect you and your mom will make up and she will forgive you, because you are her child.

Oh, and like was said before, your mom’s anger cannot affect your relationship with God. If you confess and are sorry for your part in the argument, He will forgive you.


#5

Jut adding to what has already been posted -

I don’t have a particularly warm and fuzzy relationship with my mother. It has been better in adulthood, but I went through a very bad time with both my parents last year. It was helpful to pray for my parents, and it was even more helpful to bring the situation to Confession. For my hurt, for my anger, for talking it out, out loud in ways that were disparaging to my parents, even if it felt justified. For me, that was the single best illustration in my life of the power of Confession to bring the grace to get through turbulent times. Oh, the grace! God is so good!
I made it through, and I thank God for the experience.


#6

Just my 2 cents…my daughter and I don’t talk. And I LIKE it that way. She has been mean and vindictive and I don’t miss being called names.
Kathy


#7

Sounds like my relationship with my dad. Every time we try to discuss something it ends up in a fight, so most of the time we just don’t talk. The latest one was early tonight, about college. I live upstate and am planning to go to a catholic college (Mt.St. Vincent) in NYC. According to my father, i will pay a load of money and absoultely hate it in the city, and never want to go back. According to me, he needs to let me find out for myself. At one point he was telling me he wouldn’t let me go. By that point I was telling him he had no control over where I go. It’s horrible sometimes.

No, it doesn’t have any affect on confession. What matters is that YOU are sorry, and YOU forgive.


#8

Most of our relationship has been made up of me trying to earn her love, being rejected, getting angry, and then having her get angry. Sometimes I worry that she really hates me, but then I tell myself that moms can’t dislike, much less hate, their children. I guess now I know better.


#9

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