I have written before about my MIL. Before it was that she was coming between my dh and I because she recently divorced and refused to sell her house and move into something more affordable, so my dh has given her money for groceries, etc. I would not mind except that I see her buying unnecessary things that are not needed.
Anyway, she is now behind about two months in her mortgage payments. Her house now needs a plumber to fix her kitchen sink and garbage disposal. She complains to my dh who feels sorry for her and wants to pay to have everything fixed. I told him to call his aunt, my MIL's sister, and when he did she even told him not to enable her that she is living beyond her means and is being stubborn by staying in that house. She needs to move into an apartment, but she refuses to do so. So for now, my dh is not going to pay her anything there, at least that I know of.
But the other day, she sent us both an email and in the subject section wrote, "Information you need to know." She said in the email how she has been thinking of her funeral arrangements and did not want to be a burden on us and that she has $1,200.00 in a savings acct. that she can't touch until her death and was going to put my dh has beneficiary. She wants us to use that money to pay for her cremation funeral. I talked it over with my dh and called funeral homes and that doesn't pay much. We would have to come up with thousands of dollars to pay the rest so she would be a burden on us. She does not have life insurance either for she mentioned that in the email. So the funeral home suggested that we bring her in to see if she can afford payments so that we would not have to pay for her funeral, she tells us that she can't afford that. Then we look into life insurance for her and found a cheap one that would be about $20.00 a month and cover the cost of the funeral and she tells us that she doesn't want to get life insurance and got upset at her son, my dh. What does she want us to do, pay for it all? The amount she will leave will not cover much. The house will most likely be taken from her by the bank so she can't even put that in my husband's name. She has nothing to leave us to pay for her funeral and then she wants her remains to be sent to Michigan. So we would have to pay for that too. So my dh and I are arguing over that.
Am I wrong? Should I just be quiet and pay for his mother's funeral when she dies and pay for the plane tickets for my dh to bring her remains to Michigan and be buried up there? I looked up the average cost of a cremation for today and it is $8,000.00 and we don't have that kind of money. My mom and dad have made their arrangements and made their wishes known. I don't know, nor my dh know, what my MIL wants after she dies. Does she want a funeral service at her church? We don't know for she won't talk about it. She can't handle stress well. I personally think she has a personality disorder for she was an abusive mother to her three sons and that is another thing, the other two sons will not help in the cost of the funeral. They made that very clear. She was not a good mother to them. The only reason my dh keeps in contact with her is because he is a good Catholic. She has changed a lot now in her older years, but she still can't handle stress and is very stubborn.
I don't know if by law we have to pay for her funeral if we are the only relatives nearby.:shrug:
Help, I don't want this coming between my dh and I. He doesn't handle stress well either. I don't need the stress either. If she would just work with us, life would be easier, but she is not.