I am 17 and a girl and my mom is making me become a doctor. Right now I am really depressed, but, she is still unrelenting. My older brother became a police officer and he is in his early thirties with a wife and a son and they still live in an apartment. My mom, therefore, wants me to go into medicine so that I can find a job early on and pay off any loans and own a home. She says she will pay for a four-year college, but, I have to go to graduate school on my own money which she says I will not have if I pick a lousy major. And if I need any money beyond college, she will not give me a cent because it will be all my fault.
Now, I am not sure exactly what I want to do, definitely something in biology. But mom sees anything other than medicine or pharmacy as a sure road to poverty. Well, maybe if I had a choice, I would be looking into medicine. But now my life feels pretty much planned for me and I have been crying many nights over it. I could be well paid, no loans, big house but absolutely miserable but Mom would be happy because I am not what she defines as poor.
Dad is really sympathetic towards me and tells me to do what I love, not to worry, and, if anything happens, he will take care of it. But, I feel as though Mom is looming over me like some specter and it would kill me to see her upset. I asked her if I could do something along the lines of biology or research and she looked unhappy. I asked her if she was upset and she said, “no, do whatever you want; both of my children will just be poor.” I told her that I might hate my job if I become a doctor. She just replied that she hates her job too.
Now, I am really upset because Dad is 68 and Mom is 55 so he will probably die first and leave me alone up against Mom. The depression has gotten to the point that it is interfering with my schoolwork and I was sent to my high school counselor and I told her about my situation. She wanted to have a meeting with my parents and I told her just my father. So she only spoke with my father and I hoped Mom would never find out about this meeting. Dad apparently talked to her about this and she told me to never talk about family affairs in school. I told her that it was just the counselor, nobody else. But she said that I was making our family look like bad people to the school.
Now I do not no what to do. I do not have any friends so I do not know who to talk to. I even feel guilty about asking for help online even though Mom does not know. If anyone has been in a similar situation as this, please, I would love some advice. Prayers also welcome to. And sorry for the long post. Thanks.