Mother wants grandchildren; I want to be a priest


#1

Hello,

I might have a vocation to the priesthood. I might not. I'm working on finding that out now.

Anyway, I'm an only child. My mother adamantly wants grandchildren. She's totally against anything that could change that course. Therefore, she would be against a priestly vocation for me. Whenever I've mentioned something like, "for my wedding, I'd want a Mass in the Extraordinary Form, you know, if I got married," that hints at the priesthood, she makes it sound as if it's a ridiculous thing that I might not get married. I'm wondering how you all think I should handle my mother possibly being against my vocation. All you only children who have celibate vocations, how did you deal with it?

Thanks! :)


#2

Tell her to think of your congregation as grandchildren lol.
This is kind of difficult to explain. I have 2 sets of parents. I have lived with my aunt and uncle since I was 3, so they are my parents. I am not an only child in this family, but still I receive Opposition from my mom (Aunt) because she isn’t the biggest fan of the Catholic Church. She is Catholic, but doesn’t go to church.

My bilogical Father is mentally Ill, but sill want’s grandchildren, so he is opposed for me to become a priest. But then again he thinks he is Mormon (Really is Methodist) and he thinks that somehow is going to gain alot of wives and have more children. He is almost 60 so I think he is at the stopping age.

But the mainpoint is, you will probably receive opposition like I do. But what God want’s is greater than any other voice in your life. Follow him and trust in him and everything will be OK. Priesthood is a sacrifice, for yourself and for all.


#3

I’m not an only child, but I personally know two priests who are only sons of their parents (one of them is an adoptive son, not biological, though his parents loved and raised him as though he were their own biology-wise). As far as I know, their parents were OK with their sons being ordained.

I think it depends on the individual family–not every parent of an only son who wants to be a priest has the same reaction.


#4

Since I'm an only child, I've typically been alone a lot. I don't know why, but I think she doesn't want me to be alone forever. However, (since she's not a really devout Catholic) I don't think she realizes the amount of interaction with people priests have.


#5

I’m in a similar situation as you :frowning: and I have no idea what to do either. lol. :slight_smile: I’m still discerning my vocation, but I know that if God calls me to religious life, my family would probably not be glad. I’m interested in the replies…


#6

[quote="JGMendes4049, post:1, topic:251708"]
Hello,

I might have a vocation to the priesthood. I might not. I'm working on finding that out now.

Anyway, I'm an only child. My mother adamantly wants grandchildren. She's totally against anything that could change that course. Therefore, she would be against a priestly vocation for me. Whenever I've mentioned something like, "for my wedding, I'd want a Mass in the Extraordinary Form, you know, if I got married," that hints at the priesthood, she makes it sound as if it's a ridiculous thing that I might not get married. I'm wondering how you all think I should handle my mother possibly being against my vocation. All you only children who have celibate vocations, how did you deal with it?

Thanks! :)

[/quote]

If you discern you do indeed have a vocation to the priesthood she can deal with it, if you find out you don't then she can have those grandchildren (unless you find you are called to the single life)


#7

[quote="Dakota_Roberts, post:6, topic:251708"]
If you discern you do indeed have a vocation to the priesthood she can deal with it, if you find out you don't then she can have those grandchildren (unless you find you are called to the single life)

[/quote]

Agreed. Step one is discernment. The issue of how to deal with your mother only comes later, since only if you do discern a calling to the priesthood should it really be an issue. You will not really have peace until you have at least pursued the question of whether you have a calling to the priesthood fully. The longer you put off looking at it seriously, the more chance you might hold it against your mother, which is in nobody's interest.

If on the other hand you do pursue discernment fully and seriously, then if you do not become a priest, you will at least have the peace of mind that it was not meant to be, and you can concentrate fully on raising a Catholic family. (And, of course, if you are called to be a priest, you will know it, and can focus on explaining it to your mom, rather than suggesting it in terms of 'maybe'. As long as it is just a 'maybe', she's not out of line in piping up with 'but maybe not'.)


#8

Agreed. Step one is discernment. The issue of how to deal with your mother only comes later, since only if you do discern a calling to the priesthood should it really be an issue. You will not really have peace until you have at least pursued the question of whether you have a calling to the priesthood fully. The longer you put off looking at it seriously, the more chance you might hold it against your mother, which is in nobody’s interest.

If on the other hand you do pursue discernment fully and seriously, then if you do not become a priest, you will at least have the peace of mind that it was not meant to be, and you can concentrate fully on raising a Catholic family. (And, of course, if you are called to be a priest, you will know it, and can focus on explaining it to your mom, rather than suggesting it in terms of ‘maybe’. As long as it is just a ‘maybe’, she’s not out of line in piping up with ‘but maybe not’.)
[/quote]

Those are great ideas, but (there’s always a but) discerning will take a lot of prayer and effort, and I’m going back to school in a little over two weeks. Therefore, I probably won’t be able to start full-blown discernment until next June. I’m only entering my sophomore year in high school, though, so I have some time.

Thanks! :slight_smile:


#9

[quote="JGMendes4049, post:1, topic:251708"]
Hello,

I might have a vocation to the priesthood. I might not. I'm working on finding that out now.

Anyway, I'm an only child. My mother adamantly wants grandchildren. She's totally against anything that could change that course. Therefore, she would be against a priestly vocation for me. Whenever I've mentioned something like, "for my wedding, I'd want a Mass in the Extraordinary Form, you know, if I got married," that hints at the priesthood, she makes it sound as if it's a ridiculous thing that I might not get married. I'm wondering how you all think I should handle my mother possibly being against my vocation. All you only children who have celibate vocations, how did you deal with it?

Thanks! :)

[/quote]

That's so crazy! :D If she wanted grandchildren so badly then she should have had 20 children as that increases the chances! :p So crazy...


#10

Well, as a seminarian who had a mother with objections (though rather different ones), I can give some advice on this matter. Really what is most important is what God wills for you. You would not be the first man who had a vocation against his parent's wishes, and you will most certainly not be the last. The most important thing is to properly discern your calling, without being affected by what your mother thinks, and then deal with her reaction. If you are truly called then sooner or later she will have to come to accept it.

Even great saints have had to deal with this. St. Thomas Aquinas wanted to join the Dominican order, but his parents wanted him to be a Benedictine. They went as far as to imprison him in an attempt to get him to obey their will. His brothers even tried to hire a prostitute to seduce him and thus lure him away from his vocation. The poor woman got more than she bargained for when St. Thomas responded by grabbing a burning stick from his fire and chasing her out of his room with it. He was stubborn to the end, and eventually managed to go become a Dominican. His obedience to God's call made him into one of the Church's greatest theologians ever. So like St. Thomas Aquinas just stick to whatever it is that God calls you to, and you will find that the Lord will support you in following His will.


#11

[quote="JGMendes4049, post:1, topic:251708"]
Hello,

I might have a vocation to the priesthood. I might not. I'm working on finding that out now.

Anyway, I'm an only child. My mother adamantly wants grandchildren. She's totally against anything that could change that course. Therefore, she would be against a priestly vocation for me. Whenever I've mentioned something like, "for my wedding, I'd want a Mass in the Extraordinary Form, you know, if I got married," that hints at the priesthood, she makes it sound as if it's a ridiculous thing that I might not get married. I'm wondering how you all think I should handle my mother possibly being against my vocation. All you only children who have celibate vocations, how did you deal with it?

Thanks! :)

[/quote]

Tell her that there are many of us mothers who would give anything to see their sons in the church serving God. I'll be praying for you.


#12

[quote="Irishgal49, post:11, topic:251708"]
Tell her that there are many of us mothers who would give anything to see their sons in the church serving God. I'll be praying for you.

[/quote]

This stands for me as well. God bless.


#13

Pray about it. Ask the Blessed Mother what her Son desires for you. Go with His plan. Jesus said, "anyone who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me." Keep that in mind.


#14

[quote="White_Peony, post:13, topic:251708"]
Pray about it. Ask the Blessed Mother what her Son desires for you. Go with His plan. Jesus said, "anyone who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me." Keep that in mind.

[/quote]

I have to love Jesus more than God? I understand more than Mary... kind of... shouldn't we love them all of the same? Love them all with everything that we've got? I don't understand that... Do I have to love Jesus more than a possible future wife? More than my neighbour? So I love everyone apart from Jesus with only a 60% heart? Can someone clear this up for me, please? Where did you get your quote from?

Thanks,

Dylan


#15

[quote="Irishgal49, post:11, topic:251708"]
Tell her that there are many of us mothers who would give anything to see their sons in the church serving God. I'll be praying for you.

[/quote]

Amen to that! Add this mom to the list! ;)


#16

Add this mother to that list also.It would have been my greatest honour if one of my sons had been called to the priesthood.I would have been the proudest mother in history.I am though a grandmother as all three of my sons have sons and I am still the proudest mother !


#17

[quote="Irishgal49, post:11, topic:251708"]
Tell her that there are many of us mothers who would give anything to see their sons in the church serving God. ...

[/quote]

Yes, especially parents who have children who no longer even go to church.


#18

[quote="JGMendes4049, post:1, topic:251708"]
Hello,
... My mother adamantly wants grandchildren. She's totally against anything that could change that course. ...

[/quote]

It's been said that it takes two to make a marriage: an eligible daughter [son, in your case] and an anxious mother.


#19

[quote="JGMendes4049, post:1, topic:251708"]
Hello,

I might have a vocation to the priesthood. I might not. I'm working on finding that out now.

Anyway, I'm an only child. My mother adamantly wants grandchildren. She's totally against anything that could change that course. Therefore, she would be against a priestly vocation for me. Whenever I've mentioned something like, "for my wedding, I'd want a Mass in the Extraordinary++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++Upi are of age and follow your conscience in this matter. You are not a 2-year old that needs to listen nto hisi mother.

JESUS I TRUST IN YOU

jr

[/quote]


#20

I know a priest who is an only son and a convert to the Catholic faith. His parents are unbelievers and raised him in that manner...at least your parents are not enduring the challenge of your conversion to diametrically opposed belief in what might have seemed like a double betrayal.

It's sad for your dear mother if she is so desperate to have grandchildren. (You could still marry and your wife be unable to conceive, marriage doesn't *guarantee *grandchildren.) It isn't your fault that you don't have siblings and you cannot take that choice or happenstance upon yourself, but if you are called by God then you betray God and your true self in Him if you do not accept His call.

The commandments are clear as summed up by Jesus, to love God above all, and others as yourself.

I ask our dear Lord to help solve this dilemma with you and to gift your parents in whatever way He wishes. While your dear mother only sees what may happen in time, God knows about eternity and the eternal consequences of your choices.
May God guide your discernment, and give each member of your family the joys and graces that He desires to give.


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