Moving advice


#1

Hello

     I am having a problem. I am planning on moving back to my hometown to go to college and start my career. And I have done a lot of praying and I feel good about it. But my Mom thinks I shouldn't. My Grandmother and my Mom have issues and my Mom is keeps saying that if I go there that my Grandmother will try to control me. What should I do? I feel like I can handle it but Mom seems so against it. Do I go against Mom and not move there? or do I choose somewhere else? I just feel that I will regret not moving there.

#2

Listen to your mother, obey her - and stop getting into fights about it. :wink:


#3

Thats not what the “fight” was about;) I am 21 and I didnt know if I should obay mom or not since she doesnt want me to move there because of the way her and her mom are.


#4

First, he is 21.

Second, we do not know what the fight was about.

Third, CCC# 2230 states:

When they become adults, children have the right and duty to choose their profession and state of life. They should assume their responsibilities within a trusting relationship with their parents, willingly asking and receiving their counsel. Parents should be careful not to exert pressure on their children either in teh choice of a profession or in that of a spouse. his necessary restraint does not prevent them - quite the contrary - from giving their children judicious advice, particularly when they are planning to start a family.

Fourth, I do not know what the “issues” are between his mother and grandmother, and I don’t think it is any of my business. I have to wonder if the mother is the one who is the controlling one, unless there is something truly “toxic” about the way the garndmother acts. Besides, I don’t remember if the OP said, in either this thread or his other threads about moving, whether he would be staying with his grandmother or not. Either way, I really honestly think it stinks rotten when the chldren - no matter what age - are caught in the middle of and are used as pawns in family squabbles.

Fifth, it is interesting that he did not mention what his dad thinks about this situation.

Catholicracer,

Personally, as long as you are knowledgeable about and practicing your faith, I personally think, as a “big brother” in Christ, you really honestly need to get out on your own. If you want me to elaborate, I can PM you.

By the way, did you ever make it to Mass today?


#5

Thanks for the advice. My Dad thinks I should just go ahead and do it (and I just talked to my best friend and he said the same). I have not said much about Dad because he feels like I should take the risks (long as its good moraly) and if it doesnt work I can come back home. I would be living with my grandparents at first (in the basement apartment). But I really dont think Grandmother will be a problem for me because I have not had the same problems as Mom has had with her. The things that Grandmother does that makes Mom so mad I just ignore. I couldnt make it to mass but I am going to make sure I get to confession and Mass next week. thanks for the advice again!


#6

Catholicracer, you really need to get out on your own. Your grandparents’ basement apartment, as long as you have a plan to leave in six months to a year, is a very good start IMO. Your dad thinks you need to go. Your best friend thinks you need to go. Get a plan and GO, SWEETIE, GO!


#7

Thanks for the advice! My Mom did ask me if I would be willing to go to school here to get my degree then move to my hometown. What do yall think? Or should I go with my plan of going to my hometown to go to school?


#8

What do YOU want?


#9

To do to my hometown. I just hate seeing Mom acting sad because I am going there. But I feel that its the right thing to do. So I am going to my hometown.


#10

I briefly hinted at this before, but I am going to ask you directly: does your mom have a habit of being manipulative? You need not answer to the public, I just want you to think if that is one of the problems here.


#11

Yeah I have started noticeing it lately. I just PMed you.


#12

I had the same dilemma when I was moving away from my hometown so DH could have a better job, my mom was totally manipulative-acting and controlling: forums.catholic.com/showthread.php?t=165846

Do what you feel in your heart is best for YOU. You have no obligation to make your mom happy all the time, you only have an obligation to RESPECT them. If you feel God is leading you back to your hometown, then GO! :thumbsup:


#13

I do feel like God is leading me back there. And I am going to do it!


#14

Good for you!!! I will pray for you and your mom! :gopray:


#15

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