Moving Out & Growing Up


I just recently graduated from college and I will be moving very far away from home to Chicago to begin my adult life. I’ve never been one for not being at home with my family but I prayed about it and I know this is where I am suppose to go. I have a well paying job and I know many people in the city but I will be living alone in an apartment. I know I will struggle as I have on and off had problems with depression and, like many young people today, chastity as well (thankfully my boyfriend will be 2 hours away! :wink: ).

So to anyone who has any advice please let me know! And prayers please!

Thank you! :smiley:


I think it’s courageous of you to take this step. It seems to me that you have the right attitude for living well, careful consideration and prayer, and a desire to live right. I’m sure you’ll work out the specifics of your life in like manner. Depression isn’t helped by loneliness but you might be surprised at how many people do deal with some depression. I’m aware that the reason I don’t appear to others to have a degree of depression that resulted from a youthful trauma mostly because I care about other people and am blessed enough to have an enthusiastic and spontaneous side as well. It’s really the genuine caring for others that buoys life’s one out of depression. Living on your own brings some loneliness especially in the evenings and too much time to think, so I hope you can create activities for when you are alone. To be truthful, the Forum, particularly Prayer Intentions, does provide a valuable focus for me. Each posting grabs my heart in some way, and I want so much to help, so I pray as I can for each. I feel very sensitive to the fact that people are vulnerable and if no one has responded yet I can hardly wait to so the person know someone’s there and praying…but that is a wonderful forum where many generous people pray so kindly.

I don’t know what you will find, but I pray, and feel confident, that you will do well. May God bless you and fulfil all His dreams of, for, and through you.



Moving to a new city can be intense, especially a big city like Chicago. Being prior military, we moved a lot. We found it important to find a small church and get involved. I also have found that co workers make a big difference.


Ad Deum,

I would echo that getting involved at church is important, but I don’t think you must find a “small” parish. I belong to a huge parish in the burbs that is basically many smaller circles that intersect within the larger parish. We still have the ability to get to know many people on a close level while having the resources to pull together almost anything because of our overall numbers.

I like it that we have groups for young adults and for teens and for young mothers, etc. There are also things like choir or Bible study or the annual parish carnival that always involve people from every age group and station in life. Only you will know what is comfortable for your situation and your time in life.

My most important advice for you is based on personal experience. I moved to Texas about 10 years ago and I did not get involved right away in the church or the community. I only knew one person other than my coworkers for the first few years. It made me more depressed to sit in my apartment or to usually go to movies and things alone.

Chicago has a long Catholic tradition, so you should not have any trouble finding a place that is appropriate to your needs. There is likely a large Catholic singles group either through the diocese or through some of the parishes.

There are also so many things to do in the community that you can surely find something you like to do outside of your future parish. I have organized softball and volleyball teams with coworkers and through churches. There are cycling and running groups in Chicago as well as ways to get involved in the arts if that is something you like. Our art museum does a happy hour with jazz music on Thursdays that brings out lots of single professionals.

Just make sure that you get out and do something outside of work! Don’t let yourself miss all of the great opportunities by sitting at home and wishing that you could hang out with your family.


I once heard your life is like a tandem bicycle. Put God in the front to guide, and you just peddle. Trust in him, and you will be fine. Good luck.

On a side note, the distance between you and your bf could place a strain on your relationship. I’m gonna guess y’all talked about this already?


Yea! Moving out is exciting. Congrats on being adventurous! :smiley: I moved down here nearly four years ago (wow! can’t believe it has been that long!). There have definitely been plenty of challenges, but any thing worthwhile has those. :smiley:

As for advice, be patient with yourself. Moving somewhere by yourself if a major life change and takes awhile to adjust. Don’t worry too much if you are lonely at first, it takes awhile to develop a circle of close friends. It takes awhile to feel settled in a job and not feel like the new girl all the time. It takes awhile to be able to find your way around and not feel totally lost in your neighborhood/city. Don’t stress over that too much, be patient and it will begin to feel like home!

Also, don’t be afraid to get out, even if it means doing things by yourself. Nothing will make you more depressed than sitting at home all the time doing nothing just because you don’t have anyone to go with. Make it a point to go somewhere and do something at least once on the weekend. Chicago is a GREAT city (I’m jealous :wink: ) and there is tons to do. Visit all the museums, the little ones too, not just the big ones. Go eat at different restaraunts. Visit the different neighborhoods. If all else fails, just hop on the “L” and ride in a circle or go for a walk on the lake. Be adventurous! :smiley:


Yes we’ve talked about it. When we’re not at school together we are about 4 hours apart from each other and last summer we were about 8 hours apart - so 2 is an improvement! Granted, we won’t have school starting in the fall to look forward to… it is long distance from here on out! :frowning: Prayers are appreciated!


If I might suggest-

Go to the Chicago Park District or the Y and take a self-defense course, along with joining your neighborhood association. The self-defense courses are usually taught by Chicago cops who can give you very practical advice about the City in particular. The neighborhood association (for renters as well as home and building owners) gets you in touch right away with the people around you. Chicago is a great place, but it has its own proclivities, like how to behave safely when waiting for the L, and living a in a building with one or two of four other families.

It is no less than I would suggest for my own daughter, and she was raised in a suburb only 50 minutes away by Metra.


Thank you to everyone for your advice! I’ll be signing a lease this week and I’m going to try to find a church as well. I already found a few downtown where I can go to daily Mass on my lunch break (I did this last summer when I interned in Atlanta and it is what got me through the day!).

And the self defense course - such a good idea! I’ll get on that as soon as I can!

Thank you again!



I highly recommend St. Peter on Madison. And they have confession all day long!!!

And don’t forget sometime soon to go to Lou Mitchell’s and have breakfast!:slight_smile:


Dear sister in Jesus.
The most important thing I can give you here right now is this:
Unchastity is so destructive… both when it comes to how you view you self, your relationship and your relationship with Jesus.I know this from my own life. I hope you will check out that page… that was a major day in my life when I came across it… and especially when I heard this revolutionary sex-talk
Go here:
and choose Public High School Talk
You wont regret it. It will help you tremendously…

You are called to the fulness of life and joy in Christ.
Take good care of your self…
Grace (26)
Ps…I wish it were I who was going to Chicago :slight_smile:


Just wanted to let you know that I’m also 2 hours away from my bf, all year round, due to the way our homes and schools work out. It can be done just fine! ^^ I’m sure you’re well acquainted with Skype by now. No long distance phone bills. :thumbsup: You’ll be fine, I’m sure!


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