We’re moving soon to be closer to my husband’s work. I’ve lived in this house for about 36 of my 41 years. It’s just a house and I’m okay with going. My concern is my girls who are taking it harder than I thought they would, especially my oldest. People move and I know that but I don’t want to traumatize her. She’s cried herself to sleep every night since we signed the paperwork and a few nights ago wet the bed. She’s seven. Any advice?
You’ll probably get atleast one “You’re ruining my life” rant. Other than that 7yo’s are very flexible creatures. You’ve got nothing to worry about.
Include her in decisions and keep moving fun. Don’t be all business and no fun. Cook her favorite foods and go out to eat. One of the thing about moving is the stress of having things packed and still trying to function. Don’t bribe her but at the same time this is not the time to fight over eating peas.
The first night in the new house should be fun. Have a picnic in the living room order pizza and set up the TV and watch a movie. No stress, no unpacking no worries, just mom, dad, kiddo 1 & kiddo 2 having a sleepover.
Are you buying the new house? If so let your daughter pick her room from the two non-master bedroms (if she get her own). The bigger one may be your choice but she may like the one closer to your room or the one that looks over the backyard.
Paint it the color she wants really encourage her to make the space her own. She may be feeling like you sold her room out from benieth her while selling the house. She should settle down once you’re moved.
I’ve also know parents who would hide $1 bills in moving boxes so the kid would unpack…then this was their “budget” to redesign their room.
We moved about a year and a half ago. We didn’t go more than 2 miles but it put us in a different elementary school. I truly thought it would be no big deal and that kids adjust, it would make them stronger, blah, blah, blah. It has been harder on our middle son than we anticipated. He had soccer practice at his old school, was on the same team with many of his old classmates and we drove by it on different occasions many times a week.
Because he could see it, he longed to return. We tried to get a transfer but it was full.
I think it may have been eaiser if we had moved further away and broken all ties with the area.
It is like he has kept one foot at the old school.
When my family moved and I was just a little girl, my girl scout troop made me a memory book to take with me. It was nice to have a way to remember my friends. Maybe you could have a “going way” party and invite your daughter’s friends. They could bring pictures, write little notes about their favorite memories together, etc.
Of course, don’t forget about all the new things at the new location either. Maybe check out the parks or museums you will be able to go to.
I agree, 7 yos are very flexible creatures but please don't dismiss her concerns and fears. A one night sleepover isn't going to magically make things easy for her. Is she going to be in a new school district, does she have to move away from her friends? If not, make sure to keep her going to playdates and the like with her friends. I know it's hard with the stress of moving, but it will help her with the transition. If she will have to move away from her friends, get her involved in a few activities that will allow her to meet kids with her own interests, and do it soon after moving. Again, it's hard to get the kids involved when all you're thinking about is boxes and furniture, but it will help her.
Prayers for you and her. I know how hard it can be.