Muslims: Domestic Violence - a "gentle tap" is ok


On another thread I saw the following link quoted…

I decided to have a read of this site, and discovered the following teaching about marriage…

*Prophet Muhammad taught: *

*" I command you to be kind to women …" *

*“The best of you is the best to his family (wife) …” *

*Marital disputes are to be handled privately between the parties whenever possible, in steps (without excesses or cruelty). If disputes are not resolved then family mediation can be resorted to. *

*Divorce is seen as the last resort, which is permissible but not encouraged. Under no circumstances does the Qur’an encourage, allow or condone family violence or physical abuse and cruelty. The maximum allowed in extreme cases is a gentle tap that does not even leave a mark on the body while saving the marriage from collapsing. *

Can a Muslim please explain to me what is meant by a “gentle tap”?

I cannot believe that a religion would allow one spouse to raise a hand to another spouse, even if it so-called “gentle”.

There is no need for any marital conflict to be resolved like this.

I am stunned from reading this. What are your views?


It’s from - that explains everything… one of those watered-down translations of Islamic teaching designed to prevent the initial shock of potential converts. The more accurate translation of Mo’s command is to beat your wife until she submits. This isn’t the first time I’ve heard the “gentle tap” garbage, either. It’s a pretty common defense used by Muslims when this issue is brought up.

Anyway just think about it… how is a “gentle tap” possibly going to help if you have such a rebellious wife like this??

“Honey, this is the last straw… Do what I say or so help me God I’ll GENTLY TAP you!!” :rolleyes: :rotfl:


It is true that Muhammad said that the best husband is one who does not beat his wife, that’s because it’s the belief that he’s able to control her without resorting to violence.

However, if he’s not able to awe her this way, he is allowed to hit her. And, she’s ‘cursed’ by heaven if she doesn’t give in to his sexual lusts anytime he desires her.


Wow ok thanks exoflare, I didn’t realise that web site is a watered down version of Islam.

That makes the topic of this thread even more serious and appalling.


Well, what I mean is that the tracts and “testimonies” and everything else on the front page are specifically designed to be as appealing to potential converts as possible. However, the admins and moderators of that website are quite aware of what Islam really teaches… Believe me, they know what they are up to. :frowning:


On what basis do you say this?


Quran** 4:34**

YUSUF ALI: Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has given the one more (strength) than the other, and because they support them from their means. Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient, and guard in (the husband’s) absence what Allah would have them guard. As to those women on whose part ye fear disloyalty and ill-conduct, admonish them (first), (Next), refuse to share their beds, (And last) beat them (lightly); but if they return to obedience, seek not against them Means (of annoyance): For Allah is Most High, great (above you all).

PICKTHAL: Men are in charge of women, because Allah hath made the one of them to excel the other, and because they spend of their property (for the support of women). So good women are the obedient, guarding in secret that which Allah hath guarded. As for those from whom ye fear rebellion, admonish them and banish them to beds apart, and scourge them. Then if they obey you, seek not a way against them. Lo! Allah is ever High, Exalted, Great.

SHAKIR: Men are the maintainers of women because Allah has made some of them to excel others and because they spend out of their property; the good women are therefore obedient, guarding the unseen as Allah has guarded; and (as to) those on whose part you fear desertion, admonish them, and leave them alone in the sleeping-places and beat them; then if they obey you, do not seek a way against them; surely Allah is High, Great.


Okay, so the “gentle tap” version is an interpretation according to the cultural norms of modern society.


Why am I not surprised?

Things like this make it REALLY hard not to judge.

I was a tour guide at Universal Studios and was instructed to look the other way when a ‘Prince’ (all of 8) slapped his ‘servant’. I turned down that tour real quick.


This isn’t a ‘modern’ teaching, it’s straight from the words of Muhammad (saaw) actually.


But no one has said what a gentle tap is. I think when I hear that phrase of when I give my children a little love tap on their bottoms. That isn’t a spanking because I am not punishing them and they laugh.

I’m guessing that this is not what the authors of the site mean by a gentle tap though, because this the husband is disciplining his wife.

Is a slap in the face a gentle tap? I am curious now for specifics. How much force is applied for a gentle tap and at what point does it become abuse. When marks are left?:confused:


We should do a glossary: We will give the Muslim term and then the real meaning.

Islam vs. Christianity:

Child marriage is Child rape
Gentle tap is Spousal abuse and battery
Jihad is Terrorism
Dhimmi is Slave
Monkey is Christian
Pig is Jew


…“Gently Tap” is Beat…


Becomming Muslim is not a one way desicion. If a person finds that something was misrepresented then they have the option of always going back. The fact that people are converting to Islam means that there is something that is not represented accurately on this message board.

Communicating with Muslims to see the proper upderstanding of these verses may be a lot of us would not want to do but is the right approach.


rite, wrong. If a Muslim converts back to his original faith he can and may well be killed. Most Muslims here when pushed will admit that what we say about Islam is true. Most refuse to condemn terrorism or terrorist organizations. We have asked them. The more we hear about what Islam really is the more we realize how false it is.


Well that certainly is very Muslim-like logic you’re using there, so I guess I shouldn’t be surprised you’re defending Islam… maybe even a Muslim yourself.


This is what I thought. I had always heard that Muslims who convert to Christianity can be executed in Muslim countries.


Perhaps you are not aware that apostasy/conversion to another religion from Islam is punishable by death. People convert to Islam for various reasons, but likewise people do convert from Islam to another religion, but this fact isn’t publicized because of their fear of reprisals from fanatical muslims.


I was hoping to hear from some Muslims what their take on this is. Hopefully some will respond.


They have. Ask meedo. He will tell you that if a Muslim converts and is convicted in a sharia court that he should be killed. Pro believes that too, but tries to weasel out of answering.

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