I apologize for the long post, but I needed to get this out of my chest.
I’ve posted before that my biological dad had committed bigamy. He married another woman thru the CC and by a JP and he was already married to my mom (by the CC and by a JP).
My mom suffered a lot trying to get her 3 kids to have a home, food, clothing, etc. He never helped w/money or anything else. He abandoned a 27 yr old wife, an 8 yr old, a 4 yr old & a 1.5 yr old. Well, he really didn’t abandon, my mom left him when she found out he married that woman. My mom found pictures of his Church wedding in the family car, & my mom casually showed up at their honeymoon suite. He told my mom he loved them both & didn’t want to divorce either, so my mom left him & took us 3 along.
So, I knew all this, I knew my mom never had $$ to feed us while we lived w/him, he gave her $100 pesos every month & if she ran out of money, tough luck. Our neighbors basically fed us & paid our doctor’s bills. Some doctors wouldn’t even charge us because some knew about my dad’s adventures & felt bad for my mom.
Throughout her marriage w/him, she weighed about 110 lbs or less. She was a walking stick. She never had new shoes, new undergarments, she didn’t even have shampoo for her showers. Of course I was too little to remember any of this (I was the 4 yr old) but now that I know many, but not all, of the things he put her thru, I cannot bring myself to forgive him.
I fainted once when I was 8 mos old. My dad wasn’t there because he was in one of his “business” trips. My mom asked our neighbor to take us to the ER. When the doctors looked at me & made many tests, they found out I had a heart murmur. My mom didn’t have $$ to pay for this emergency, so my pediatrician took care of it.
My brother at about 6 mos old was very dehydrated to the point he had to be in the hospital several nights, & of course, daddy was at another “business” trip & my mom didn’t have $$ for the hospital bill, so guess who paid it? Our pediatrician.
Oh, my mom wasn’t allowed to drive, so she had no car. She wasn’t allowed to work, she wasn’t allowed to go to school, she wasn’t allowed to visit her parents… He abused her emotionally, he never hit her, but the damage she did to her was immense.
Well, aside from all this… we were at my grandpa’s yesterday, my mom wanted to go cook something for him since my grandma went to Mexico to visit her mom, so DH, my dad (my step dad), uncle & I went over to eat there. My aunt got there & she was talking about her miscarriages. & I dared to ask my mom about one I knew she had. She was 24 yrs old & 4.5 mos pregnant w/fraternal twins. She said she felt she was miscarrying so she rushed to the bathroom & both babies literally fell out.
Well, this time my dad was there so he took her to the hospital. There they cleaned her up & sent her home. 3 days later, she said she had a really high fever, she was in tremendous pain, she couldn’t walk, she was delirious, & asked my dad to take her to her scheduled pre-natal visit w/her ob-gyn, she hadn’t told him she miscarried 3 days before. My dad told her she was over reacting & she only was acting this way because my grandparents had gone to see her. She started crying & begged, got on her knees & begged him to take her to the appointment. All he had to say was that the time for the appt had already passed & they wouldn’t see her. Crying she replied that they would, that they really would, & kept on begging. I don’t know where my grandparents were at that moment, but my dad was the only one who could take her. So, somehow he agreed to take her.
Once they got to the dr’s office, my mom went up to the lady at the front desk & asked if they could still see her. My mom said her face was white, & she was sweating like crazy. The lady asked her what happened to her, & immediately got her dr for her. When the dr came out my bio dad explained to him she was acting like a little baby because her parents were there, that she only wanted attention & he apologized for having taken her. The doctor already knew my dad was cheating & how he would treat my mom, so he didn’t say anything & took my mom into his office. He laid her down & asked what was wrong, she told him about the miscarriage & he thought maybe the procedure at the hospital was done wrong. He asked why she hadn’t just gone to him but said my dad didn’t want to take her there because the hospital was closer. He began examining her & barely touched her abdomen when my mom screamed of pain. That was all the dr needed to know something went wrong at the hospital.