[quote="OJD, post:10, topic:253520"]
This remark surprised me, as a gay Catholic (It wouldn't surprise me if some condescending person states that this as a contradiction in terms, but I'd hope they be slower to judge me for how I describe myself).
I, personally, am happier knowing that my mother and those close to me know my true *inclinations, I couldn't live a lie nor could I go on for much longer telling people lies - which I believe to be venially sinful, and not good for one's soul. I understand why being *out isn't for some, if not most, people.
I would have been better keeping my mouth shut for the simple reason that I was FORCED to 'come out' rather than coming to terms with and understanding my feelings. My head is still trying to play catch up to this big label I've now got around my neck. I'm convinced looking back that's why my relationship failed too.
It's this reason that I still haven't told my conservative grandparents, because I know that at present my head is still too full of worries, doubts and issues to take on the flak I KNOW is going to come my way if I tell them.
I can empathise with the feeling of imminent explosion, for want of a better expression. You say you want to do something. Try asking yourself what you can do? I don't believe in the theory that you can - truly and ethically - change your sexuality from homo- to hetrosexual, for example.
I came out at 20 to my best friend, 19 to my mother. So kinda similar in that respect. I felt free of guilt after telling those who I felt ought to know. I don't think anyone has a right to know one's bi/homosexuality apart from one's spouse (I guess that might, rarely, happen).
I'm agreeing that there's no right to know someone's sexuality, and indeed I've so far only told those who need to know.
Remember that sexual thoughts are not sinful, provided they are not entertained and are dismissed immediately. It sounds like you have a case of the scruples to some extent.
Problem is for me is that even these sexual thoughts I'm having seem to be 'wrong'.
It's a shame you find that you're making yourself miserable from being, what I feel is, only a small (and, for Catholics usually, insignificant) part of your identity. If you've got depression, which you mentioned that you do - as do I, which was for a time sexuality-centered, I would suggest on speaking to a medical doctor ASAP, being open and honest about this issue.
I'm wary of doctors, having been misdiagnosed 5 times on another problem. I'm seeing a counsellor who may be able to help more.
You're not abandoned - I believe you've got God, you also probably have parents or friends who you can confide in and approach, failing that there's loads of people on forums and YouTube willing to support you. If "these feelings won't leave me alone" I would again recommend seeing a doctor, most would probably view it as an unhealthy thing to be bugged by such thoughts.
It's not the thoughts themselves which are a problem, it's the fact that whilst it's a small part of my person, it's at present creating a LOT of problems.
I wrongly assumed up to the point where you state otherwise that you were a bisexual male. Thinking future happiness is sometimes wishful. It's a sad thing that you're unhappy, and I'm sure there are people who love you who would want to help and be supportive but just don't know you need that support. Consider letting them know!
Sexuality is only a small part of one's personality, it rarely has the affect as it has on you.
Anger is a usual feeling in circumstances of depression and I did only really experienced it when I failed to tell a person the truth about my sexuality.
I think you should above all give it time to resolve.
Maybe I'm being too closed up about this whole thing, which cannot help.
You say that you "can live happily with my sexual feelings without actually acting on them. But no-one else seems to understand this." - believe it or not, I actually do because I'm in exactly the same [metaphorical] boat. The suggestion that not all homosexual or bisexual people are not fornicators will undoubtedly shock some, somewhat slightly bigoted, people.
You (along with others with problems centered around sexuality) will be in my prayers. :thumbsup:
I hope things, for you - and those of us in similar boats, improve drastically.
Thank you and :thu:
[quote="Dakota_Roberts, post:11, topic:253520"]
As a gay Catholic I can readily sympathize. From the LGBT community I get told I'm hating myself and feeding myself lies, from many Christians (mostly Protestant, but Catholics too) I get told that I am evil, an abomination, a freak or even a slave of Satan (srsly?). A major problem with modern society is sex almost worshipped, even more so in the gay community with it's penis worship, *** worship, thigh worship and abs worship.
[quote="joshrp, post:12, topic:253520"]
If it really bothers you, then seek help. There is nothing wrong with asking a therapist or counselor to work on this issue. Most homosexuals would like you to believe that you have no choice in the matter. If it really bothers you, then you don't have to stay that way. People have changed their sexual orientation in the past.