I’m relatively new here I am hoping I can still generate some responses. My struggle really starts with a desire to trust God but I feel unable to do it. The five months ago I started dating a man who he met in a very divine way. I’m 26 and have been discerning my vocation since I was in my mid teens. For short time I did feel called to religious life and then from there consecrated life. This fall I met a man who made me feel God telling me my vocation was marriage.
Shortly after we met, we began dating. It didn’t take long for the two of us to fall in love with each other and to really discuss the future. It might have seemed early to others but for us it just felt natural and normal. It was fun for us discussing where we would see ourself in the future and what we both wanted. My boyfriend is a devout Catholic and I too am very strong in my Catholic faith. We always kept God in mind as we discussed plans for the future, potential children and where we would potentially live.
My boyfriend had been in the seminary sometime ago, and although I knew it was something he had in his heart I never thought it would come up again after we had met. But in the past few weeks he has told me how he does still feel God calling his heart towards the priesthood. He’s expressed to me that we need to discern our relationship and what we are called to in gods image. Although I understand where he’s coming from, I still cannot help but feel lack of trust in God and frustrations in prayer. I do not want to Stand in the way of Gods plan for both of us, but up until recently I felt that God’s plan for us was to be with one another. Although he has told me if he’s called to marriage he knows it will be me, I cannot help but wonder where we will go from here. I am really struggling also at a personal level as I feel consumed with the desire to know what is happening in our relationship.
I’m not really sure what I’m looking for, perhaps words of wisdom, advice or even just prayers. I do appreciate your reading and anything you can bring to me to help me understand how to bear this cross I would be eternally grateful. Thank you and God bless.