My boyfriend has been to mass before but never a catholic mass?

So my boyfriend has never had a catholic girlfriend. I’m his first one. He isn’t catholic and it’s been almost 20 some years since he’s been to a wedding in general.
We have been to mass together before and one of his friends is catholic he knows he can’t come up with me to communion. I guess my question is how do I get him used to the idea of possibility having a full wedding mass when and if we get married.

1 Like

Bring him to mass if you can. Even though he cannot receive communion, he may still enjoy going with you. And if you get married someday, he may not have any objection to getting married with a full mass.


I want to. But the last two weddings I’ve been have been in a catholic parish but they didn’t have communion.
I guess I’m wondering why they didn’t?

Sorry if it doesn’t make sense

As in communion was not distributed or the priest didn’t say the words of consecration (“This is my body… This is my blood”)?

It is standard practice in the Catholic Church to have the wedding rite outside of mass when a Catholic marries a non-Catholic.

So, I would focus on a conversation around the options and what he feels comfortable with and what your pastor might allow rather than trying to “convince” him to go along with what you want.


Some people choose not to because their family isn’t Catholic, or the spouse’s family isn’t Catholic.


Communion wasn’t distributed.
Most of the family on that side isn’t catholic but my grandparents and a few aunts and uncles are. It was just weird to me and I admit I kinda felt offended

I guess I felt kinda offended on my moms side that’s all we have is the full wedding mass and I would never ask my bf to become catholic.
A family friend of ours married a Protestant and they still had a full wedding mass and the grooms family didn’t say anything

Why were you offended? I don’t understand.

I guess I’m so used to there being communion at a wedding mass that it felt almost naked to me. Like I said 99% percent of family is catholic.

Some families would be offended, some wouldn’t. Or they might be offended but still not say so out loud. I think it is best when different families with different traditions and sensibilities involved to be as inclusive as possible without compromising your core values. In my case, my wife felt it would not be a good thing to set up a situation where no more than half (at best) of the guests and only one of the two of us could participate in a major part of the ceremony. I must also say that I agreed.

I mean they had the grooms parents and everything proceed up the aisle. I guess In my area we’re so used to it that it doesn’t offend anyone who isn’t catholic. Unless she explained to his family at rehearsal or something what was gonna happen

How sure are you that no one is offended? Not everyone voices their feelings for all the world to hear. Also, what does the procession have to do with Communion or whether the wedding is within or outside of Mass?

Well, if 99% of your family is Catholic, why wouldn’t you have a full mass if you could?

You never know what the future holds for your boyfriend. He may see you as an example and one day want to be Catholic.

1 Like

Well we’re gonna wait a little bit to even start talking about marriage. We haven’t even been together a year yet.
We’re from two different states so

Usually, when one of the parties getting married isn’t Catholic, the priest will recommend that the couple have a wedding ceremony without a Mass to keep the non-Catholic parties from feeling left out because they are unable to receive Communion.


Well I’m not forcing him to become catholic. He’s not forcing me to become part of his church.
I’m hoping he does decide to go to rcia classes in the future, but if he doesnt I’ll still love him

I didn’t say anything about forcing. But if you have been around CAF for a while, you will read people’s stories, and it does happen. That’s all.

You just tell him that is what you want.
There is a an adage popular with those of us who have been married for a long time…“Happy wife, happy life!” :joy:

DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in these forums do not necessarily reflect those of Catholic Answers. For official apologetics resources please visit