Before I begin, I must explain that my boyfriend and I are Catholic, but he goes to a public high school and I have the inkling that he doesn’t know as much about Catholicism, especially Catholic sexual ethics, as I do. He does think people should be married before sex but I don’t know how he reconciles this with his apparent approval of homosexual behavior (we had a short conversation about it many months ago, closer to the time we had first met, and I cited the Catechism but he got upset and wanted to change the subject. So it hasn’t been brought up again, but I hope to discuss it further, especially since it may be a learning experience).
He has told me a few times that his “homosexual friend” (yes, this is how he always refers to this friend, which I find deplorable, as if the human person can be narrowed down and defined with such a label), who is also a self-proclaimed Catholic, keeps pressuring him to do sexual things with him. He finds it flattering, but has not done it because he “doesn’t really want to.”
This infuriates me on multiple levels.
One, that a professedly Catholic young man is EXTREMELY openly gay, to the point that he appears to be sexually obsessed (I have seen his statuses on Facebook; I’m not friends with him, but my boyfriend is, and he often “likes” his updates); he is a very popular kid and it’s worrying me that he is causing a great scandal. I’m not trying to throw stones or anything, but I’m very CONCERNED.
Two, that he would keep pressuring another Catholic into sin. It’s not even like he’s “in love” with my boyfriend, he is just “very attracted” to him!!
Three, that my boyfriend would find this flattering! That’s not flattering, that’s insulting and sexual harassment!!!
Four, that he would think this sort of thing would be okay! Even though he’s with me! And his only apparent reason for not doing it is not “wanting” to!
Now I apologize if I am coming off as sanctimonious. This has just been bothering me for a while and I am worried for these souls. I feel that I definitely have the duty to proclaim the truth to them, and bring to their attention the moral tenets of their own faith. But I don’t know how. I probably can’t do much about the other young man, as I’ve never spoken to him and he goes to a separate school from mine. But this is the one main issue on which my boyfriend and I are divided, and I think that it is possible to change that. He seems to approve of it because of ignorance or poor catechesis, and because of his generally anti-judgmental attitude. All I want to do is be able to teach him the truth with charity and sensitivity, but I don’t know how to broach the topic without causing an emotional conflict and pushing him further away.