Normally i don’t post personal information on the internet, but this forum has been a pretty good place for advice, especially from a Catholic perspective and right that’s what i need…in addition to prayers.
So basically, my boyfriend told me some crazy information today and i’m so incredibly confused about what to do and whether I should stay with him or break up with him.
Perhaps I should give some background information…
My boyfriend and I have known each other since sophomore year of college…and we were always friends. There was some very weird periods of time where I stopped speaking to him/got angry with him and he messed up when he expressed that he liked me/wanted to date. Regardless, my life was a little hectic and crazy but I finally got back on track with my faith and my religion last year and I have never felt so connected with Catholicism in my life before…
We started talking again at the beginning of this year and we started dating, but this time everything seemed to be going perfect. He understand my morals and views (he said he was okay with waiting until marriage), he is orthodox christian but interested in being more religious (and now attends mass on a regular basis and wants to be more religious), he is well mannered…funny…etc etc. He has done some things in the past that were immoral (he had sex with 2 girls he did not know very well) but i had gotten over them because that is not who he is now and i have forgiven him for it.
Then, today, he tells me something that happened at the end of our sophomore year, during a period when i stopped speaking to him/was mean to him and he thought i would never speak to him again. apparently, him and his ridiculous (and in my opinion, horrible) guy friends went into the city, got drunk, and then ended up at a massage parlor not according to my boyfriends desire. he wanted to leave but was drunk. he went to the bathroom and when he came out there was a woman in the room and somehow, he ended up sleeping with her. more or less, it sounds like some sort of prostitution considering one of his dirtbag friends paid for this to happen. he cried in the car all the way home and he cried that night and could not even bring himself to sleep in his own bed. he beats himself up for it repeatedly and claims it is the worst thing he has ever done in his life.
i know that he is a good man and he that truly loves me and would never cheat on me or resort to any of his bad behaviors. i know that it was mature of him to tell me something like that because he loves me and he could have easily kept it hidden. i know that in time i can also forgive him for what he has done.
i just don’t know what to do now…I’m going to speak to a priest whom we both know/i trust very well in a couple of weeks about the situation so he can give me some guidance. I am pretty disgusted by the entire situation and right now i cannot swallow/comprehend all of the disgusting details. my boyfriend and i both understand, however, that the decision relies entirely on me as to whether we continue to date and slowly start to rebuild our relationship (which is now long distance) or if we should break up. we spoke about marriage…kids…everything. we were very serious and both of us understood each other so well because of our good friendship.
Everything in the present and the future seems to be okay, but it’s just his past…and i dont know if i can get past his past.
I wish God could just make the decision for me…I prayed a novena before we started dating that I would find the right man to marry sometime…(and then we dated)…and I prayed while we dated that if this was not meant to be, that he would let me know and now i’m just praying for some guidance…because i dont know what to do, i still love him, and we always seemed to come back to each other in the past (fate?)