My child and I


#1

:mad:My child and I don't really have a religon and i am concerned that I am leadingf my 16 year old daughter down the wrong path when i try to make rules all she does is disrespect me. She watches Mtv and Vh1 all day and listens to nothing but Marilyn Manson and im pretty sure he worships satan she is makeing failing grades in school and i feel helpless and hopeless and i really need help any suggestions are welcomed:mad:


#2

[quote="emilyt67, post:1, topic:193470"]
:mad:My child and I don't really have a religon and i am concerned that I am leadingf my 16 year old daughter down the wrong path when i try to make rules all she does is disrespect me. She watches Mtv and Vh1 all day and listens to nothing but Marilyn Manson and im pretty sure he worships satan she is makeing failing grades in school and i feel helpless and hopeless and i really need help any suggestions are welcomed:mad:

[/quote]

Make her ability to watch MTv and Vh1 conditional on her grades. Tell her that if she doesn't keep her grades up, she will not get to watch these channels and follow through.

At the same time, ask her if there is something special that she does want, and tell her that if she makes A's (or B's or whatever you find acceptable) you will buy it for her.

Alternatively, you can tell her that making good grades is her job, and pay her a salary for good grades (and nothing for bad). They used this method on some inner city kid who were terrible students and it turned them into A students.


#3

Maybe discuss religion with her and see how she feels about it? But don't force anything, that would make it worse..You could take her to see churches, learn about it with her, and see if she shows any interest. Nearly everyone has some interest in the spiritual realm at some point in their life..maybe now is a good time to embark on this journey with her? blessings...


#4

Unfortunately, I think by the time one’s children are 16 they’re going to already have their idea of religion. So really it’d be hard to force some sort of religion on her.

However, I do think disrespect has more to do with parenting and what you allow/don’t allow versus religion. There can be some very respectful atheists. It really depends on how they were taught.

But if you yourself want to get into religion then lead by example. Start going to Church and make it a priority in your life. Perhaps then she’ll see that you are happy and want to go with you.


#5

I very much agree with BrokenFortress about leading by example.Your daughter will see your example of faith (as it builds) and as St.Francis siad "Preach the gospel always, If necessary use words." ~ St. Francis of Assisi....meaning actions speak louder than words.By your actions your daughter may learn & follow.

Concentrate on your own personal seeking of religion in your life.Perhaps go to
your local catholic church find out the times of services and attend,sit at the back & take it all
in.At the ebd of Mass introduce yourself to the Priest & tell him you are enquiring,he will
be very welcoming & knowledgeable.

When we let God work through us, we help Him to do the same for others. We can show His love for others in how we treat them and in how we pray for them.

Grace is a gift from God that enables us to live more fully in union with Him. It strengthens our desire to choose good over evil. It also helps us to manage difficulties in our lives better. When we feel humility, compassion, forgiveness we’re putting others’ needs before our own. These are signs of God’s graces working within us.

The most important thing is to persevere in your prayer life on your journey with God. St. Hilary once said that “grace depends mostly on perseverance in prayer.”

I would also say a little prayer for God to guide you here is a good one and God bless you

A Spirit To Know

Gracious and Holy Father,
Please give me:
intellect to understand you,
reason to discern you,
diligence to seek you,
wisdom to find you,
a spirit to know you,
a heart to meditate upon you,
ears to hear you,
eyes to to see you,
a tongue to proclaim you,
a way of life pleasing to you,
patience to wait for you
and perseverance to look for you.
Grant me a perfect end,
your holy presence,
a blessed resurrection
and life everlasting.

(By St. Benedict of Nursia, ca. 480-547)


#6

Dear Emily,
I have learned 2 things lately= I have 2 teenagers as well.

  1. Never yell or be mean to your teen, (I’m not saying you do, but it’s tempting when they are rude to us,)
  2. You have much more power than you think. You are in charge of the TV, radio, computer, phone, If she watches bad stuff, turn it off. Don’t allow disrespect, If she is disrespectful, tell her quietly that those comments or behavior is not accaptable, and do not give her the next thing she asks for (a ride, clothing, permission to go somewhere).

She wants you to be a strong, loving mother, She is pushing you to see whether you love her enough to take a stand and be the guide and helper she needs.,
She might not tell you now, but if you start to enforce rules, you may be surprised at how well she will obey you.


#7

Emily,

Don't get made, just set the rules and stick with them. You are still mom.

The other thing you can do is find Jesus. Go talk to the priest of your parish and tell him that you are investigating the faith. Join a catechism class. You will find love and help there.


#8

[quote="emilyt67, post:1, topic:193470"]
:mad:My child and I don't really have a religon and i am concerned that I am leadingf my 16 year old daughter down the wrong path when i try to make rules all she does is disrespect me. She watches Mtv and Vh1 all day and listens to nothing but Marilyn Manson and im pretty sure he worships satan she is makeing failing grades in school and i feel helpless and hopeless and i really need help any suggestions are welcomed:mad:

[/quote]

Counseling sounds like a good idea. Where's dad btw? Statements like "my child and I" usually mean the other spouse/parent isn't in the picture. That leaves the door open to passed trauma associated with that parent. It doesn't take a lack of religion to cause a kid to rebel against their parents and lead a dark/ bad lifestyle. It can may feed or not help the problem, but doesn't mean that's gonna cause it. My guess is there are other factors out there that need to uncovered with the help of a counselor.


#9

DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in these forums do not necessarily reflect those of Catholic Answers. For official apologetics resources please visit www.catholic.com.