My close friend is a mistress in dating


My friends and I are in our final years of high school and we’ve started a bible study and have made pacts to keep us accountable in our faith and stay away from things like drinking.

Well one of our very close friends is not a practicing Christian and drinks, smokes, and does a lot of lustful things with other young men. She doesn’t normally pressure us to act like her but the more we hang around her, the more we can see ourselves begin to act/think similarly. The biggest problem that we don’t know how to deal with is the fact that she is leading other guys cheat on their girlfriends. There is one guy specifically she keeps playing around with and we have told her we don’t support what she’s doing but she tells us not to take it personally because she can do what she wants. We don’t want to stop being friends with her, but what else can we do to avoid being around this type of “toxicity”?



A “mistress” is a specific thing. It is involvement with a married man. If your friend is having an affair with a married man while she is in highschool, she will end up hurt at best and splashed across the front page of the newspaper at worst.

You ought to talk to her seriously and then go to a trusted adult, your parents, etc. in order to protect her from this man.



No, I was just using mistress to describe the situation, my apologies, I didn’t mean it literally



Okay, so your friend is promiscuous and you do not know what to do? Well, you can be kind to her while letting the friendship fade away or you can remain friends and let your joy and kindness make her want to imitate you.



You can’t stop her from doing what she does. You can only try to keep yourselves clean.
If hanging around with her makes you more likely to sin then stop hanging around with her.
I know that sounds cold but if she’s leading you away from God that is a very serious matter.



I would say that she might have some kind of deep emotional hurt that is causing her to act out this way. This is definitely something trusted adults should be helping her with.

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I think she needs some prayers



Invite her to church. Invite her to Bible study. Other than that I wouldn’t spend too much time with her.

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Is the problem more that there is one guy in particular she’s “playing” around with that someone in your group is interested in, or that she’s not doing what your group wishes, or is it most that you are concerned for this friend?

Why do you begin to act so similarly to her so easily? Any ideas?



Personally, I would not continue to be friends with this person. But, whatever you do, I’d keep my significant other away from her just in case.

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She’s probably a very insecure person with a bad past of relationships with guys, perhaps abusive ones. So now she is acting out because she doesn’t know what to do



It’s hard to imagine that someone just out of high school would already have a history. If that is indeed the case, she needs all the prayers she can get.



According to Proverbs and other texts in scripture, it’s doubtful that you should continue in friendship with her.

Pray for her a lot, but I don’t think friendship with her is prudent.

And definitely tell her what she is doing is against the teachings of Christianity. (Admonish the sinner. A spiritual work of mercy.)

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Absolutely, she needs the prayers

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