My confessions a burden for our overworked parish priest?


#1

Lust is a powerful sin and Im sorry to admit that it’s one of my biggest trouble areas.
So as you may see how Im in great need of the sacrament of Reconsiliation every now and then due to slip ups.
So with this in mind you may see how it’s frustrating to be member of a parish who does not offer any confessional time during the week except if one makes a appointment with the priest oneself.
I myself are a former Lutheran (convert of Easter 14) and I find it stressful enough in itself to confess my sins to a priest and “the make an appointment” part makes it even worse.
Now, if Im in need of confession (witch I currently am) I have to walk up to the priest after mass on Sunday and “botter” him with a request for confession.
It feels like Im some sort of a freak as Im needing to make confessions every so often.
Also it feels like its our priest sees it as a hassle becouse it steals from his social time with other parishioners. He is quite a social type you see.

We do only have two priests btw, the one is a heavily overworked Vicar and the other one is a Polish priest (for Polish only it feels).

So this actually keeps me from confession for long periods of time and forces me to abstain from the communion and let’s just say its somewhat frustrating.

It feels like Im one out of maybe 5-10 people who actually goes to confession frequently while the rest of the parishioners never never are.

I have however gone to a parish in the Capitol for confession earlier as the do offer 30 mins confession time every day of the week, but it’s quite impractical as well as super depressing when I fall again shortly after.

So my question is; what should I do?
Should I just confess once a month even though Im living in mortal sin since its so, so impractical for both me and our priest with regular confessions or should I confess in the Capitol parish as often as I need even though it takes a entire day to travel both ways?
I mean, can’t it be seen as a waste of time and money to travel 50 km just to confess and possibly be seen as a sin in itself to waste resources on such trip?

Thanks in advance for any answers I may receive:)

And may God have mercy on my soul until I get to confession as Im quite afraid of ending up in hell if I die before I’ve gone to Confession.

Also, if its not to much to ask please say a Hail Mary for me if you have the time.

Yours in Jesus and Mary

  • HBH

#2

Would it be possible to make a regular appointment? Perhaps what you are sensing isn’t his consternation at your frequent confessions (which I think priests on here have said they prefer to weddings because they actually get to DO something) but if you are living in mortal sin (usually taken to mean living with a woman who isn’t your spouse) are you working towards an annulment or marriage, whatever the proper remedy is? If you are, then that’s good! Just keep trying and keep confessing when you fall.

I wonder if you could confess to the Polish priest anyway. Have you tried? Perhaps it would go well for you.

I’ll pray for you. I’m a recent convert as well. :slight_smile:


#3

Is there an FSSP priest within reasonable access to you? I gave up with mos diocesan priests where I was living for confession and just drove to another city to go to confession with a priest from the FSSP, as they take the sacrament seriously.


#4

What is important is that you keep fighting this, lust, and using the sacraments which will help you even though it seems pointless.
That said, we have a right to the sacraments, confession being one of them. I also thought we had a right to anonymity meaning making an appointment won’t cut it.
I would find a parish that offers this and frequent confession, weekly WHILE I let father know that you would like, benefit greatly if he would schedule weekly confessions in a confessional. Keep asking him while you go someplace else.
IF he doesn’t add it, I would drop a friendly letter to my Bishop outlining my needs etc.
BUT, I would still go to a neighboring parish that offers it.
Don’t get discouraged. One saint said that lust dies 5 minutes after death (paraphrase). You are not alone in your struggle. Don’t give up. Have hope.


#5

I am not aware of any diocesan priest who does not take the Sacraments “seriously.”

OP, what other parishes are nearby? Perhaps a monastery? If the latter, you may even call to ask for Spiral Direction.

Regarding your specific issue, amend your habits so that you’re not alone often. Find outside activities to fulfill your time. For some, Adoration is good. For others, volunteering at a soup kitchen is an option. Perhaps a new hobby like building bird houses would do the trick. But please don’t stop trying to find alternate activities in order to “avoid the near occasion of sin.”


#6

Because I sometimes need confession at some times other than Saturday afternoon, I made a list of parishes within a 15 mile radius (my personal limit) that offer confessions at other times.

Incidentally, having this list, and the embarrassment you describe of needing to ask at other times – this has kept me more resistant to temptation!

Keep up the fight. You will make progress. In the meantime, get to confession as soon as possible when you need it. Don’t put it off! Having to rearrange your schedule and drag yourself to confession may act as a deterrent next time you feel tempted.

God bless you!

Gertie


#7

Though “Parish Hopping” is not a good practice you may benefit from finding out if another parish in your area has regular confession times during the weekends. If you can simply go to that parish for confession. I have always been lucky that my parish has a regular Saturday time for confessions, in addition to being able to make appointments.

If you are going to continue with your current pastor, don’t view your need to go to confession as a burden to him. That is part of being a priest. If you can only go once a month then do your best to do so. Otherwise see if you can make a regular scheduled appointment with your priest for confessions.

That you are willing to confession, and have the intention of going is a plus and if you can’t get there due to no fault of your own, then just do your best to go asap.


#8

Hello - I too often have trouble with lust. Luckily for me, I live in an area with lots of Parishes and work within walking distance to two Parishes with daily confession.

Personally, I do wish that Parishes would have schedule Confessions at least 15 or 30 minutes before each Mass (at a minimum) - just enough time for a few “emergency” confessions. And/or daily confession in the evenings in suburban and rural parishes and at lunch time in city parishes. But if people don’t attend…

Anyway, I have some advice:

  1. don’t feel like you can’t confess to the Polish Priest. You can confess to any priest, even to priests who do not understand the language you are speaking. While many priests do give advise at Confession, Confession really isn’t “spiritual director time.” It’s about confessing your sins to The Lord and receiving absolution. Now, it is good to have a regular priest you see for confession, you don’t have to in “emergency” situations.

  2. instead of grabbing a priest, call the rectory to schedule an appointment when you need confession during days without regular scheduled confession. This allows the priest to spend dedicated time with you, including spiritual direction.

  3. finally, in case you have not; check out masstimes.org to find all the Parishes in your area. Sometimes Parishes stager confession. Masstimes will not only let you know where the Parishes & Missions are, but will also provide mass times and confession times (assuming that it’s been updated)

God Bless.


#9

I have done the same thing!

I made a list Monday through Saturday of the parishes and their confession times. I actually have never been to my parish for confession (just the way it’s worked out).

Mass times.org has a way you can search for confession times. Just confirm it on parish websites because I found it to be outdated and some times wrong.


#10

Perhaps you could gently inquire as to the possibility of having a regular weekly Confession time established in your parish. :o

If that doesn’t work, maybe a standing weekly (or bi-weekly) appointment would be something to suggest.

You shouldn’t feel like you are a “bother” in requesting the sacraments (provided you are being reasonable in your requests).


#11

Consider phoning or emailing the priest regarding scheduling . It probably is cumbersome to have the request made on a Sunday after mass.


#12

Jon S and everyone else,

If you find incorrect times on Masstimes.org, please feel free to fix them. Masstimes is run my volunteers and unfortunately not all parishes update their own times there. :slight_smile:

God Bless


#13

When you commit a mortal sin, make an act of perfect contrition right away, and you will be in the state of grace and thus safe. Then commit to going to confession as soon as possible and then refrain from Holy Communion until then. That is what I have been told by quite orthodox priests. God bless.


#14

I want to first thank you for having the humility to abstain from the Eucharist while knowing you are in a state of mortal sin. I, like you, have struggled with certain mortal sins, and I have gained strength from your willingness to share your difficulties.

I was in a church with a similar situation. I eventually changed churches to one with more frequent reconciliation. My new church does Wednesday night exposition of the Blessed Sacrament, Benediction, Rosary, Reconciliation, and Mass. It has been most healing to me.

Always remember, it is only necessary to receive Our Lord once a year at Easter time. I never understood the push for receiving the Lord more frequently, unless it was accompanied by greater opportunities to be reconciled. I am quite sure millions of Catholics receive Our Lord in mortal sin. If you are in mortal sin though, resolve to cast off your demons with the power of the Holy Spirit, pray the prayer to St. Michael, and get to confession!

Peace be with you. I will pray for you. Please pray for me as well.


#15

Good advice! I did not know that could be done by anyone.


#16

If this is really a problem for you, you need to ask your confessor/spiritual director when and if these sins you are worried about are even mortal. Habits like these can very well make grave matters like lustful sins (ie pornography, masturbation ect.) venial sins.

I wouldn’t be surprised if they didn’t cover this in RCIA, but these kinds of thoughts tilt in the direction towards scrupulosity.

The way you feel about yourself here as being a burden to the parish and the priest is most troubling to me, especially since you are a new convert.

If you’re trying to get a priest to do Confession before Sunday mass when Confession is not offered, well, that’s tough. They would probably prefer you set up an appointment during the week.

And the next you go, make sure you ask when and if this is a mortal sin for you.


#17

I believe if you search the forum rules, it is not permitted to make disparaging remarks about…
[LIST]
*]Clergy (deacons, priests and bishops) of any group
*]Lawful actions and disciplines by the Church
*]Parishes, pastors, civil leaders.
*]Other religions (And this would include the Roman Catholic Church and her priests, whom you are portraying as being unfaithful and/or negligent)
[/LIST]EDIT: You were posting when I submitted the ruling from Canon Law, just before your last post.


#18

Hit the Priest up every time you can. And I will go to Mother Mary and ask her to pray with me for you that you can beat this. Remember there is no sin greater then Gods love and grace for us.

It’s okay it really is, you are going to the right place and to the right person to help you. It would be no different then if a person had cancer.

God gave them healing powers and remember to ask them for prayers also on your next confession.

We will all be praying for you this week!

So remember they have the power to heal that soul given to them by God, take advantage of it!


#19

Casilda has hijacked this thread and diverted attention to her needs. It is unfair to the OP. Now that we have answered her with sufficient information, it’s best we move back to topic.


#20

My bad!


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