My daughter’s boyfriend broke up with her a couple of months ago. He seemed like such a great guy and they were even talking about marriage when his moods changed when they were together and then he broke it off with her. Question… how do I help her get over him? I never personally went through such a difficult break up and I’m not sure how to help her.
How old is your daughter?
They are young… she is 20, he is 23.
Time and perspective. She is young. It is tough but a risk you take when you date. The whole point is to see if you are a potential life partner.
Better he broke it off now that after a wedding. Or when kids came along.
Having said that it is a really rough time. I remember the feeling well. At that age it is hard to see in the future. You feel the pain will never go away. But it will. Being present for her, letting her cry and distractions might help.
Good luck to her .
That’s what I thought. I appreciate your answer. It’s so hard watching her suffer but I also am seeing some signs of improvement. She’s a very strong woman and is keeping busy with school but the distraction of this break up has been detrimental to her health, both emotionally and physically. I’m glad that Christmas is coming soon, and this suffering is making Advent a more spiritual time for her and for me. Please pray for her. I love her so much and can’t imagine why this young man would not want to be with her. His loss, I guess.
Young, but old enough to have been “serious.”
Let her know you are always available to listen.
Spend extra time with her.
It is a difficult time. You and I both know she will find someone else, but she doesn’t see that now. Nor does she want to hear that right now.
Encourage her to spend time with her friends, keep busy and of course, go to church. Daily mass will fill some of the void in her heart and help heal her.
My daughter had this happen to her too. Time heals. Life goes on. And she will be happy again.
Honestly I wouldn’t want my mom cheering me up. Maybe just like hang out with her and buy her dinner or something but don’t be all cliche and immediately talk about the break up with her. If she wants to bring it up she can but tread lightly. She may just wanna be left alone now
Maybe it’s different for gals, but even though I was sad for awhile after my last break up there were immediately plenty of things I was great ful for. I tried to focus on that.
I’m sorry for your daughter’s pain
Not everybody is compatible with everybody else. You can have two perfectly lovely people who on paper should be the perfect couple, but it simply doesn’t work out.
No hero’s, no villains (assuming there was no abuse or cheating, of course).
Best thing is to give her a shoulder to cry on, and her space when she needs it.
Ultimately, she has to figure this out on her own.
We are very close. She told me everything as the relationship grew. There were signs that he was not committed to her back a few months ago, but then he’d warm up again and lead her to believe everything was OK. Honestly, this daughter of mine is the first one that has gone through this while living at home so it’s been played out in front of me for almost a year now. I have been going through this break up along with her! That may sound strange, but I had high hopes for the two of them. Both of them very strong Catholic people and it looked so good. I think that’s why this has been so hard on her. The passage of time is a big help, I’m sure.
Thanks for the feedback. I haven’t felt like sharing this with friends because it’s my daughter’s private life, but I needed to hear some encouragement on her behalf. Thank you, everybody!