My dilemma...to contact or not....?


#1

So here is my dilemma.....

My DH died a few months ago. He was an alcoholic who hid his drinking (well, tried to - we all knew better) from his family. He never drank at home, he continued to work, and he always had "appointments". These appointments were mostly, of course, bar stops. He died of alcoholic liver disease.

So.....he had (and has) business mail that I received, including his business credit card bill. It was all bars. Every. Stinking. Charge. For. Months. For the last full month that he was out of the hospital before he died, the bill was over $2000 for booze. When I got the bill, he was also over the credit limit of $20,000!! :eek:. For booze.

So fast forward to now. A town near us is having a summer festival. The kids and I were thinking about going to this tonight or tomorrow and knew there was a website for it listing the schedule of activities, etc. On this site, several of the festivals sponsors are listed with "click here" buttons for coupons, specials, etc. So we were checking it all out. On one them, there were pictures of patrons having a good time. I clicked on one, and guess whose picture it is?!? Yup. We dug a little further and found this picture was also prominently displayed on this establishment's Facebook page under its promotion area.

So here is my dilemma......do I contact this establishment and ask them to remove the pictures of the late DH holding a beer in his hand, explaining he died from this alcohol? Or do I let it go, knowing logically that no one but DH picked those glasses up and consumed the alcohol? I know rationally many people go there and have a drink or 2 and are not alcoholics. It is not the establishment's place DH died. I know that. It was all on DH's head. He made his choices, and he died by those choices and addictions.

The last year of living with him was pure hell. He was constantly lying about the drinking, we had no money (he was drinking it all), and the pictures are of him drinking and laughing and having a grand ol' time. It just really Pi$$es me off! :mad:

It makes me even angrier that my kids saw that too. Here we are trying to find a fun activity to do together, and there HE pops up with booze again.

So, do I contact this bar/restaurant, or let it go?


#2

Yep. In a heartbeat.


#3

I would make a request as the executor of his estate, in writing, asking them to remove your DH's picture from their website. State you are not authorizing them to advertise alcohol with his picture, as he died from an alcohol related liver disease.

If they refuse, I will bet money that they did not receive a release from him when the took the picture. Model releases are required before posting a picture of someone when they are recognizable. The establishment using an unathorized picture of your DH to advertise their establishment could be subject to a lawsuit.

asmp.org/tutorials/property-and-model-releases.html


#4

I am SO sorry this happened. I can relate to wanting to move on and have fun and something unexpected from the past comes up to haunt you at the last minute. My heart is with you.

This is an idea and I am not sure how comfortable you would be with it. Instead of telling the bar your husband died from alcoholism and you don't want him to advertise drinking, would it be possible to simply say 'You probably aren't aware but the man in the picture is my husband and since he passed away could you please no longer use his picture in your advertisements.' There is a possibility they will be receptive to that. If they don't then I would find out if there is a release and what your legal options are. But if it ever comes to that and you don't have the strenght to go through with it, it is OK not to push it

CM


#5

Absolutely, I would request to have that picture removed!


#6

I'm so sorry to hear about this. :(

Yes, contact them to stop advertising with his picture (it is a form of advertisement).

Again, so sorry.


#7

I'm so sorry for what you've been through.

You should ask them to remove it. I would.

KG


#8

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