My divorce was finalized yesterday


#1

Sorry I have been a stranger - yes this is Joandarc2008 - My hard drive fried and then I lost my password and then I tried to reset it and I couldn’t seem to and I haven’t been able to get a hold of anyone so I set up a new account and I think eventually they will catch up with me and help me out with it. But my divorce was finalized yesterday. I am starting my annulment. It is a mess - I did not even have to go down there and the court did not even end up calling me - I feel very relieved about that - glad it is done - sad that it is over. But I also know that it needed to be. I thank all of you that have been here for me. God bless you all.


#2

And God bless you! I’ll pray for a smooth and just annulment process, and for your comfort and peace of mind.


#3

I know from personal experience that the day you get notification that the divorce is finalized is a very sad day. I'm praying for you and I hope that you'll give yourself "permission" to mourn. I felt a little silly mourning since obviously I knew it was coming, but in hindsight I think it was perfectly healthy to have a good cry over a piece of mail.


#4

[quote="Augusta_Sans, post:3, topic:231227"]
I know from personal experience that the day you get notification that the divorce is finalized is a very sad day. I'm praying for you and I hope that you'll give yourself "permission" to mourn. I felt a little silly mourning since obviously I knew it was coming, but in hindsight I think it was perfectly healthy to have a good cry over a piece of mail.

[/quote]

On the same day I found out I was divorced I also found out i was lucky I had not gone down there for court as he "had plans for me." Right now I am trying to get my head around that first. Everytime I get a chance to possibly mourn something comes up that has to be dealt with first.


#5

I know exactly how you feel. It was a bittersweet moment when I got a letter in the mail saying my divorce was finalized. My prayers are with you and if you need someone to talk to, I’m here for ya!


#6

I am glad to see you back, and sad for you, but happy that you avoided your now ex-husband’s “plans.”

:mad:

I guess that must confirm that what you are doing is the right thing. That doesn’t mean it is not painful.

:frowning:


#7

Praying for your safety and recovery,
and for God’s plan for your wholesome future.


#8

Joan I’m glad that part is over for you.

I’m separated and dreading having to go forward with a divorce. I can’t imagine how I’ll feel when it’s over. It will be a difficult day.


#9

[quote="nancymarie, post:8, topic:231227"]
Joan I'm glad that part is over for you.

I'm separated and dreading having to go forward with a divorce. I can't imagine how I'll feel when it's over. It will be a difficult day.

[/quote]

It was - prayer, penance, and Eucharist.


#10

Joan:

I am so glad that you are doing ok and that this is behind you. I’ll remember you in prayer.


#11

I will remember you in my rosary tonight, God bless you!


#12

Hi,
I am going on my third and final separation. I have been married 28 years and I have three grown adult children. My husband was abusive and we got married for the wrong reasons. I never believed in divorce but I feel at 50, my mission is done in my marriage and God has other plans for me. I am getting my degree in Religious Studies and I want to serve God, not man. I have been unequally yoked also which has made my marriage even harder and my husband is from India. I tried everything to make it work and have gotten counseling from psychologists and clergy all throughout my marriage. I feel God is leading me in a new direction in my life and I trust Him in everything. I know I have grounds for an annullment and I will pursue it to feel better about my decision within the church since we got married in the catholic church. It has been a long hard road but I believe a new chapter is opening in my life and with God as my Shepard, I have nothing to fear.

Any words of advice or encouragement would be greatly appreciated. God bless you in your future and may God grant you His mercy and love.

Marilyn Rose


#13

You know it is ironic - I am currently studying for my Masters in Pastoral Studies and I just applied for a second Masters in Counseling. It is a dual program. It is going to be a while for the annulment so I am focusing on school and taking things slow. After everything is done I want to help domestic violence victims. We shall see.

I can say work on the annulment now because the longer you wait the harder it gets - this is what I have heard from others. Mine is ready to be sent in - I have been writing it the entire time the divorce has been going on. Now I just need to wait for my papers to be mailed and I send them in and I don't have to think about it again until the Tribunal gets in touch with me.

Other than that counseling and be careful and be good to you. I am obviously avoiding relationships and staying away from men. With your background I don't need to tell you that. Other than that my counselor says it and i agree that I need to make sure I give myself permission to feel as well. God bless you.


#14

Congratulations, sort of. I filed for divorce in Lent, and it felt very appropriate.
I hope this Lent will give you the space you need to sort things out as they come.


#15

Hello Joan, My computer was giving me problems so I took it in to have it refreshed and it took days to get it fixed up. The techs erased a lot of my stored information. But I am glad I have my computer back.

I got divorced years ago and it was great that I didn't know when I was supposed to show up in court. It was great not having to go to court. I was married for 10yrs. I did mourn my loss of my marriage because my hopes and dreams had died. It felt like a death but my ex-spouse was still alive so that was the difference. I felt guilty for many years and felt it was my fault for the divorce until I did a soul searching of my past and my ex-spouse past as children and realized that we really should have never gotten married as teenagers.
We both just wanted to escape our abusive parents and for other reasons too.

Now you can take a deep breath and move on to your annulment. I will pray for you.
LaLucia


#16

[quote="joanofarc2008, post:1, topic:231227"]
Sorry I have been a stranger - yes this is Joandarc2008 - My hard drive fried and then I lost my password and then I tried to reset it and I couldn't seem to and I haven't been able to get a hold of anyone so I set up a new account and I think eventually they will catch up with me and help me out with it. But my divorce was finalized yesterday. I am starting my annulment. It is a mess - I did not even have to go down there and the court did not even end up calling me - I feel very relieved about that - glad it is done - sad that it is over. But I also know that it needed to be. I thank all of you that have been here for me. God bless you all.

[/quote]

Hang in there, kid. The worst of the worst is over, get the annulment and put it all behind you! :heaven:


#17

Hi Joan,
Best to you, I am sure you feel like a burden has been lifted. I have read some of your other posts about your difficult marriage, and I am so sorry that you had to endure that. I wish you luck in school, it is awesome that you are turning your negative experience into a way to help others.

I am applying to get my Master’s in Social Work starting this fall, and I want to work with populations that I can identify with as well (survivors of sexual assault, mentally ill, etc.). I firmly believe that having insight into peoples’ struggles is valuable in finding ways to help them move on.

You are in my prayers, hun!


#18

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