My last relationship with a woman was the most toxic. We were not compatible at all and used to fight. I did love her and still do, she tried quite hard with me but I would catch her talking to other woman online etc and we would fight. I would bring up her past, she would bring stuff up. We did love each other and to this day I still do. She went to church non dominational one and that is where I got more into Jesus.I always believed in God and Jesus.
I had my baby, I wanted a baby for so long and done it on my own and I am single. I told her to get out of my life about 8-9 months ago 2 months before my daughter was born and she did ,straight away with another woman who she was talking to when we were trying to be friends still. I am not that jealous about the actually, more about how badly it all ended.
We had a dog together but after I had the baby and received a card from her daughter to say congratulations I invited her daughter down with the dog to say hi and all that. But my ex would not let her and told a friend of mine she was not happy about that and that she had moved on!! When we were together she always talked to her exes and even phone them and talk about them Yet she will not let me see the Dog I bought! I think she must hate me so much. She jumped straight from me to another girl so quickly. She has had a few relationships before me and always checked on all her exes but with me she seems to hate me! She used to tell me I could not stay single but it looks like she can’t
I checked her facebook recently. I hardly ever do but everytime I do it is near an event, last time I was getting baptized and it was an amazing day and few days before getting baptized I checked her facebook and she was with this woman all over facebook, again she was telling everyone that this woman is the love of her life! She goes to church with her and has told her church about her girlfriend, she outed herself.
We were together 3 years, and I just miss her friendship but nothing else because deep down I know I was unstable about it, something did not feel right about being with her but I did love and was attracted to her. I am scared to get in touch with her and say sorry if I was horrible but I was not coping with just trying to be friends and she talking to other women and she has a girlfriend but if she is a true Christian then maybe she be my friend again. I want her to see the baby too,she came to my scan. I hate how things ended more than anything.
This woman does not live near her so my other friend said, so it is a bit long distance.how can it even be a relationship is what my friend said, it seems more like a holiday romance.
My dilemma is she is gay and happy with her girlfriend, obviously God brought her this girl into her life so quickly but me I am in pain and asking forgiveness. I can go weeks without checking on her but when I check her facebook I get all upset. She is blocked from my facebook but a friend let me look. .
She used to talk to all her exes on facebook when she as with me but now she with this woman she never bothered to get in touch or ask how I am, just told a friend I cannot see the dog I bought and had for 3 years but let this woman just come into her life.
I know this is all sinful, how do I live my life with my baby in peace? I love my baby and my family know and have helped me. I have been baptized and ask God for mercy and forgiveness but I am scared of future temptations. I ask God for this my exes friendship back too. I ask for peace to live in peace and maybe one day find the straight life.
Today I am having a little down day. Just before my sister confirmation which I went to I checked my exes facebook which I should have never done! Last I checked it was my baptism, its like the enemy knows I am not 100% over my ex and wants me to suffer.
She found love and bliss straight away. I was always told to give myself time before jumping into another relationship but she did straight away. and it seems to be working 8 months later. Facebook does not lie she seems so happy with this girl.
P.S I want advice on how to forget it, become totally straight and bring up my daughter. I do not want to be judged please. I dislike myself sometimes without judging.