I have suffered from chronic depression for almost 5 years now. I have sought spiritual healing as well as medical treatment. After all this time and everything I’ve done I’m still not better. Lately I have found myself to be resentful towards God because I feel like none of the things I’ve tried have worked. I go to church regularly, participate in the sacraments (eucharist and confession) I have been to a spiritual retreat, read spiritual books, prayed daily (rosary and the chaplet of Divine Mercy) I’ve gone to a life in the spirit seminar, I’ve gone to a few healing masses, have been prayed for numerous times. I am finding that I just no longer believe. I think God wants me like this for some reason so I just no longer want to bother with him.
I want to trust in God again… can anyone offer any suggestions or words of encouragement?
Im probably just the worst person to give you any advice as Im nott a catholic (yet) nor a member of any church, but the words of the Our Father came to mind reading your post - Thy Will Be Done - maybe change the focus of your prayer - let God know how much you love Him, how much you want His will to be done, and pray to His Blessed Mother to interceed for you. Believe in God’s love for you. Truely believe. For what it’s worth, Ive only learned to pray myself, but I will remember you when I talk to God.
Ag Not is humble which is a virtue we all should aspire to have. She has a good mind and sense of humor.
I would suggest reading the book Kolbe: Saint of the Immaculata. The life of St. Kolbe is inspiring to me. This man dared to love God with his entire being.
Another suggestion would be to take time to visit people in a local nursing home. I have a couple of new friends at the one I visit. Theresa is an 80 yr old woman dong some rehabilitation. I am loaning her my Ernie Pyle book when I am done reading it. Jacob is another new friend. He tends to nod off during our chats, but that is okay with me. He was in the navy a long time ago. By taking time to visit such people you share with them the light that is inside of you. They are in a prison, so to speak, and not one of their own making. Having people come visit is a great treat for them. You might have to meet a few different people before finding a good fit with your personality. Give it a try. What do you have to lose?
Don’t give up are the words that came to my mind.
During October - next week, I believe, we celebrate the feast of St. Jude Thaddeus, known as patron of hopeless or despaired cases. If you’re feeling hopeless in succeeding - pray to him. Make a novena. Or to St. Dymphna, in consideration of your depression.
Want your intention answered sooner? Make a nine-hour novena to the Infant Jesus of Prague. It’s miraculous. I don’t know how the depression started. I’ve been in one myself during the past year. God sees you don’t want to leave Him - but rather that despite the cross He’s sent you - chronic depression - that you’re just disappointed at trying. PLEASE stay with God - Ever hear that poem, “Footprints”? It’s when we don’t hear or see God’s answers - even then that’s when He’s with us most of all. Don’t give up…the words came to me again.
God bless you.
Pop had schizophrenia, Mom has advanced Altzheimers -
and I try not to dwell on the possiblity that He may be out to drive me looney. :bighanky:
Depression is a very very painful reality to deal with.
Got so bad that I have been hospitalized twice.
Some of the dearest hearts I have ever encountered
were my ward mates. Gentle, kind hearts, and suffering.
I have a stance - vis a vis depression and the spiritual life.
I hold that God entrusts individuals with this kind of illness.
He entrusts some souls with this, so that their trust of
Him comes at great cost. To love Him in the midst of great suffering is
to trust Him in all things.
One of the hard things, that accompanies such illness, is that
no one sends a card, or calls one up - to see how one is feeling.
People don’t seem to know what to say. It is not a lack of
charity, on their part, I don’t think. It’s just awkward to know
what to say.
At age 62, I’m a lot closer to returning to my Creator, than I
was at age 32. I rather fancy that when I see Him, face to face,
He might say "Do you feel better now, bunny?"
And maybe I’ll say “It wasn’t that long, was it God?”
“It seemed like such a long time to suffer, but it really wasn’t,
I am so sorry that you endure depression, Andrea22.
I suffer with a chronic, painful and often debilitating physical illness. It is a daily struggle to try and stay on friendly terms with God. Some days, I will literally look upwards and say “I’m not talking to you today because I’m too angry!”.
Like you, I feel like I’ve exhausted every avenue - medical, psychological, and spiritual. I have had to accept that this is MY personal cross, whether I like it or not. I can go it alone, which is pretty stinky, or I can keep talking to Him, even when I’m yelling. The latter alternative is best for me because struggling alone is just too hard.
And some days, He does give me a break! I always make sure to thank Him and be extra nice on those days!
Depression is like taking the wind out of one’s sail. The feelings to do the things one should is not there, even though the mind knows one should be doing them.
Yes, still go to Church; still read the Bible; get the book of St. John of the Cross; still say one’s prayers; and most importantly, have a one-on-one with God… where you speak your mind (in all due respect of course). Make it your personal Psalm between you and God. It is this that I have found to be the most help in the depths of the depression.
And yes, “Thy Will be done” is what will be… but, in the one-on-one you will find the Love that will help with all the other things one should be doing… the energy will come. And the cross will be easier to carry since He will help you with the load.
It doesn’t hurt to continue knocking at the door. Jesus told a parable about a man whose neighbor had some late night visitors. The neighbor kept knocking at the door. The guy finally got up and gave the neighbor what he wanted, not because he was overly fond of the neighbor, but he knew the neighbor was not going to go away.
Sometimes, persistent prayer is necessary. The important thing to say is not my will, but Thy will. If you are still carrying this cross, then maybe this is the cross God gave you to carry. Have you ever sat down and compared your cross to someone else’s? I’ve often thought, gee, I wish I had so-n-so’s cross? But then I start looking at their cross more closely and I think, wow, thanks for not giving me that cross God. We all carry crosses, some people are better at hiding theirs than others. Mother Teresa said “God will never give me more than I can handle; I just wish he didn’t trust me so much.”
Instead of focusing on getting rid of it, try embracing it and offering it up as a sacrifice for sin or the soul in purgatory who needs God’s mercy the most.
Don’t ever forget that God has plans for you that He will reveal when the moment is right. Just be open to him.
Here’s just another thought, when my sister lived way up north, she had trouble with Seasonal Affective Disorder. It’s depression caused by not getting enough sunlight. I have heard anecdotal information that people who have it can go to a tanning booth for about 15 minutes a day and it helps. You might try putting on a bunch of sunscreen and go to a tanning place. If it helps, maybe you can get one of those light boxes. It’s just a thought.