- Can the fear of God or not earning God’s love ruin or harm a person?
- If I sin, will God’s protection or help wear off? (This thought is killing me)
**Servile fear is from the spirit against Christ and can indeed hurt us and others. The “fear of God” of which Scripture speaks is the awe of majesty that a child feels when he looks up to his parents, and is not moved from fear of impending punishment or wrath, but from a desire to always be with them and never displease them. **
God does not love us in our perfection, but in our misery. This is the definition of mercy, misericordia, miseri cors dare, “to give the heart to the miserable”. God showed His love in this: while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. He did not come to call the righteous, but sinners. He did not come to condemn, but to save - His name is Yeshua, God Savior. Or don’t you recall the words of the Blessed Virgin?
My soul magnifies the Lord
and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior
God loves you! He will empower you in your weakness, for in weakness His power is made perfect, and where sin abounds, grace abounds all the more!
I think that I have a very limited view/path on faith that is and has been doing more harm than good.
**My advice is to peacefully speak with a priest (possibly your confessor) about these matters - make an appointment beforehand so he is not in a rush - and possibly consider to have a periodic time of spiritual direction. **
- When I sin or have sinned, I am more vulnerable to awful things that happen in my life.
Well, mind you, sin entitles temporal punishment. We must be willing to pay the price and bear the discipline.
- All the bad in my life is caused because I did not have God’s protection due to my sins.
Now this is gravely erroneous, for Christ Crucified is the sign of God’s perpetual and unconditional protection. The bad in your life comes from the world, the evil one, the free will of you and of others, and some of it (many would say all of it) leads to your purification and towards your sanctification.
- If I lived my life perfectly according to God, which I try and fail all the time, I would be safe and happy.
No. You would be at peace, but still in the world, amidst tribulations, subject to hardship - as is the life of the Christian, who carries the cross.
too much belief in this, has made my life horrible.
**There is healthy belief and disordered belief **
If the one message that I can remember in life is “Try to follow the rules of the church”.
The problem is that such rules have left me in a state of total depression and anxiety in life. I was always a scared kid.
Perhaps they were not transmitted to you correctly. Remember the Sabbath Law? People had arrived to believe that it was not even licit to heal someone on the day of rest, and Christ had to remind them that the rules were rules of love, made for man! Man is not made for the rules, the rules are made for the sake of man.
I pleasured myself infrequently during adolescence. During adolescence, I hurt my back bad, and suffered a lot. My mind says, “See this is what you get” I need some confirmation that this is nonsense.
You cannot attribute to the Lord such things. You must remember, however, that He does allow sin to be committed and suffering to happen. If He allows it, it means His Divine Providence can overcome it.
I never dated until after 30 because I was afraid of sinning.
Spiritual direction would have helped…
When I did have intercourse before marriage, I believe god punished me by making me have an anxiety disorder or finally letting it take over. my brain said, “You sinned. Prepare for pain”
Well, yes, sin entitles a punishment, but you should not keep this kind of servile fear, because sin also entitles a Savior who is Christ and who loves you unconditionally, forgives you in Confession, and gives Himself to you in the Eucharist to sanctify you.
I love my girlfriend deeply, but she says she cannot marry me. We own a house, and we both suffer from such hardships, we do not think we are fit to be parents. She has some deep issues about marriage, and I have trying to help her.
Yes , we sin with each other, but we do try to limit it.
**If you love someone, you must respect her. Abusing the sexual act outside of Holy Matrimony hurts you and hurts her. This is a matter worth of peaceful counseling, and parishes usually have wonderful groups to help couples understand what Holy Church teaches on these matters. As the man, you are supposed to hold the final word, therefore she must accept your determination not to commit sin and understand that it is not refusal of love or rejection, but a true expression of love and giving of self.
Being married or becoming parents is not something we chose, it is God’s calling, a vocation. A friend once told me: “God does not call the equipped, he equips the called!” Discern Matrimony with the help of the Church, and trust in the Lord!**
What kind words/helpful responses do you have for me?
**God abides in your heart. You see Him reflected in the eyes of your loved one. His Spirit is a spirit of peace, a Comforter. His Church is His Bride and our Mother.
Be patient, take things slowly, and to the extent possible, relax and abandon yourself more in the hands of the Lord. Discuss peacefully your situation with a priest, and remember that he is there to serve you, so talk to him openly and withhold nothing from him. I have seen people’s live change for better quite commonly, and I am certain that He is already at work to give you the peace your heart needs, if you turn towards Him humbly
Remember the words of s. Therese of Lisieux: “We need not become bigger, but smaller and smaller”. **