First of all, let me say that I undoubtedly believe in God. Every single cell in my body knows that there God is all around us.
For the last couple years, I have been majorly struggling with my faith. I have read many, many books on the subject, talked to a priest and had many conversations with friends and family about it. But I’m no closer to regaining that faith. In fact, I’m even further away.
Right now, my focus is on Jesus. Again, I absolutely believe that he lived on this Earth. I know he was here. What I’m doubting is his divinity, per say.
The reason I say this is because I don’t feel that people of other religions are not “saved” in the Christian way. Because I believe that God is **all encompassing love **and compassion, I don’t believe that He would send any loving and moral person to Hell because they happened to be born in India and believe in someone named Ganesh. However He is able to save them (giving them a chance to recieve Him at Heaven’s Gate, dismissing their earthly beliefs because of thier moral character, etc) I believe that if He can, He will.
I have been called heretical and not a Christian because I believe this. So, I can take it if someone on here says I’m going to Hell. I don’t believe I am.
Do I believe that Jesus was able to perform miracles, heal the sick and blind, raise the dead, etc? Do I think he was able to speak to God and had a direct connection to Him? Do I think he was an ascended Holy man that was closer to God than I can ever hope to come in my lifetime? Yes. I can believe in that. But if God says that we are all His children, what makes Jesus being the Son of God any different?
And believe me when I say that all of this is making me sick to my stomach. I HATE having doubts in my faith. What I wouldn’t give to go back to having that unwavering faith in both God and Jesus. What I wouldn’t give to be strong in that.
My husband tells me that this is something I will have to reconcile with myself because on this earth in my lifetime, I will never know these things. People cannot answer them for me. I will have to come to peace with all of this on my own and in my own terms. I’m praying that that is sooner than later.
So, I beg for your prayers for me to find my strong faith again.