My family doesn't understand me or my boyfriend ( I really don't like that word)


Well, This may get long. I am a revert since I started college. I (22) am dating my wonderful boyfriend (25) for about 9 months, we are both very devout Catholics, and this is both our first relationship, both of us didn’t believe it was worth dating unless we were considering marriage. He respects me, and loves me, and treats me wonderfully. His parents were divorced and thier marriage was anaulled(sp) when he was 6. He is a quiet guy, but has a great personality, we go to daily Mass together when possible and Sunday Mass, almost every Sunday.

I was quite a home body in highschool, and loved spending time with my family, so I didn’t need much friends to hang out with because I had them. They are not so devout, and since I have started dating him, I have become more devout.

2 weeks ago, they pretty much attacked him, he was not there thank goodness, and doesn’t know that it happened. He knew something was up, but I just told him that I have realized lately how much my family doesn’t understand me. I didn’t feel that he needed to know what they said. But my family said some pretty harsh things. My mom understands my point and is practicing more then the rest of them, because my family can be very judging. They don’t understand why I am such a practicing Catholic, and they think my boyfriend is weird.

We know that our relationship may be leading us to marriage, not for a while of course, through prayer and discerning. How do I get my family to understand me, and my relationship with my boyfriend? I was just downright angry for about a week, and went on a little retreat so I am not as aggrivated, and trying to work on forgiving them, through confession and prayer. Any comments would be a great help.


Sorry for the way you are feeling right now - family - what are you going to do with them?

Keep up the prayer and ask for guidance. Perhaps your family really does have you best interest at heart since you mentioned you didn’t date much before. Perhaps they don’t yet see in him the values that you do. It will take them time to get used to the idea of him and you as a couple.

Keep going to church, lead by example, don’t argue - it’s just not worth the effort. Let them see in him what you do by having him over more and share your time together with family. Hopefully they will eventually see the same attributes you do, or at least come to understand that spark in your heart is because of him.

Good luck and God Bless.


You are a grown woman and you are free to date whom everyou choice if there problem is only that he is devout in his faith I do not see this as a cause for concern (for you anyway!)

If you and your partner are happy then continue to court there is little your parents can do about this!

Continue to pray and grow in the church and I will offer up prayers for you and your family!

closed #4

DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in these forums do not necessarily reflect those of Catholic Answers. For official apologetics resources please visit