Mike and Jenny,
You have my prayers and my deepest affections. My daughters’ dad is now openly homosexual. I regret that the community we lived in at the time helped reinforce the idea that this is a “good thing,” and that I was not Catholic at the time. The Church helps immensely, believe me! But my daughters did not experience the Church’s teachings, and now the moral confusion I see in them breaks my heart.
Your dads are very lucky that you do know the difference between sin and righteousness and that you care for their personal integrity here on earth. Even if they are unable to recognize this right now, I will tell you so – they are very very blessed men.
Mike, I didn’t catch your age. How you address your dad is gong to depend largely on how old you are. If you’re legally an adult, you can approach things differently than if you were underage. A psychologist told my ex-husband that it was absolutely necessary to our daughters’ emotional well-being to know who he was, really, without pretense; they had, like you, pretty much figured things out for themselves, but his admission brought them closer and resolved some conflicts the girls had had in their own minds about certain issues they were dealing with. I hope your dad has the courage to be honest with himself and with you – and that that honesty leads ultimately to deliverance, but that may not be the situation, and there’s nothing in this world you can do to change that fact.
Jenny, you and your mom and all your family are in my prayers. My cousin married a lovely young woman whose dad died of AIDS right after their wedding; the family is still in terrible pain over that situation.
I just said a few minutes ago in another thread that I observed, when my ex-husband came out of the closet, it seems as if all the demons of hell tried to attach themselves to him, his basic personality and character so quickly and dramatically altered. Another psychologist of my acquaintance tells me this is too common a lament of other families as they observe their loved ones sink deeper into sin. You may observe something similar.
Be sure to add the Prayer to St. Michael the Archangel when you pray for your dads!
May God bless you and give you all wisdom and discernment.