my fiance and i are planning to get married. i asked for requirements and one of it is a baptismal record. but he is not a catholic and doesnt have a baptismal record. what should we? i want a church wedding and he agreed. but our parish said that if theres no baptismal record then they will not accept us.
I think there’s some confusion taking place. A Catholic may marry a non-Catholic or a unbaptized person with the appropriate permissions and dispensations. Its just a slightly different set of paperwork and issues to address depending on whether the individual was baptized or not.
If your finance is baptized then it is a mixed marriage, if he is not then it is disparity of cult. A mixed marriage requires permission to be licit, disparity of cult requires a dispensation to be valid. I don’t think your parish is saying they will not marry you, I think they are saying that you will need to fill out paperwork for a dispensation from the Bishop.
It is also sometimes possible to have a nuptial Mass if one of the spouses is a baptized non-Catholic but a nuptial Mass is never done if one party is unbaptized. Perhaps there was some miscommunication about having a Catholic wedding and having a Catholic wedding Mass.
Catechism of the Catholic Church:
**1633 **In many countries the situation of a mixed marriage (marriage between a Catholic and a baptized non-Catholic) often arises. It requires particular attention on the part of couples and their pastors. A case of marriage with disparity of cult (between a Catholic and a nonbaptized person) requires even greater circumspection.
**1634 **Difference of confession between the spouses does not constitute an insurmountable obstacle for marriage, when they succeed in placing in common what they have received from their respective communities, and learn from each other the way in which each lives in fidelity to Christ. But the difficulties of mixed marriages must not be underestimated. They arise from the fact that the separation of Christians has not yet been overcome. the spouses risk experiencing the tragedy of Christian disunity even in the heart of their own home. Disparity of cult can further aggravate these difficulties. Differences about faith and the very notion of marriage, but also different religious mentalities, can become sources of tension in marriage, especially as regards the education of children. the temptation to religious indifference can then arise.
**1635 **According to the law in force in the Latin Church, a mixed marriage needs for liceity the express permission of ecclesiastical authority. In case of disparity of cult an express dispensation from this impediment is required for the validity of the marriage. This permission or dispensation presupposes that both parties know and do not exclude the essential ends and properties of marriage and the obligations assumed by the Catholic party concerning the baptism and education of the children in the Catholic Church.