My fiance makes our home a terror place fi

I wish and pray that i had the courage to leave or call authorities on this man to file a restraining order. Things have gotten worse. The worse part is that im confused and still question if the feedback im getting on this website is even valid. I keep trying to convince myself that the responses im getting on here could possibly be the enemy using others to destroy our relationship. He (my fiance) has told me that we are of Gods will but that Im allowing the enemy to take control in our home. Because i question his whereabouts, he feels that im accusing him, so he says i have no respect for him. So he gets angry that i disrespect him in that way. So he then blows up in much enragement and verbally assaults me and gets physical with himself, like banging his head on the wall. He says that IF I would take control of my doubts, then none of these actions would be happening. So with that said, he does prove a point. He says im the problem in the relationship.
I cant seem to think clear or make out what is real and whats not anymore. Someone please talk to me. I feel like im going insane. :"( i feel weary. And scared. He keeps insisting that we talk. So …i have tried only to be insulted, and intimidated by his aggressive behaviors. It hurts when he tells me to just shut up and listen. And no interruptions. I feel cornered cause he blocks the door so i wont get thru.
How do i KNOW IF THIS MAN IS GODS WILL FOR ME? HOW?? Someone please tell me how to know Gods will.
Like he says, relationships dont have every day as a happy day. Some days r going to be bad. So now i wonder if our relationship is indeed healthy but these are just the bad days???
What r bad days supposed to look like in a healthy relationship?

Why do you keep starting new threads? On the same topic?

Talk to you priest. Tell him that you are afraid of your boyfriend. Tell him that your boyfriend lives with you. Tell him that your boyfriend threatens suicide whenever you don’t lavish attention on him. Tell him everything.

The priest will let you know that what we are saying on your other threads is the truth.

Oh and

What r bad days supposed to look like in a healthy relationship?

There is never a reason that you should be afraid of your partner. No matter how bad of a day someone is having, they should never threaten you or your child.

You are not in a healthy relationship.

BECAUSE I WANT ANSWERS! REAL GODLY ANSWERS!
Because im hoping someone on here will teach me how to know Gods Will for my life. Because i dont know if this Godly man is the man God wants me to marry. Thats WHY.

Guess its time i go visit with my priest.

You have received Godly answers. You have received answers that will save your life and the life of your child.

But you called us “of the devil.”

And then you started a new thread. :shrug:

Please do this ASAP.

The Godly answer is this: Stop having sex with someone you are not married to, having a child by him and then letting him beat you up. There is nothing Godly here. You need to get out of this now, call the police, call protective services and stop kidding yourself with these questions of it it is God’s will. It is not God’s will to have sex outside marriage, that is called mortal sin and mortal sin cuts you off from God. God doesn’t want you to marry someone who is beating you up. That is someone to get away from, not marry. Get away from him NOW!

Here is the Correct Answer!

God does not want you to marry a violent crazy man. Period. This mess is of Satan, not God.

That is the Correct Answer.

Talking to a priest is always good, but I would strongly suggest talking to a physician as this seems to involve medical issues and physical safety.

Do this. If what we are saying does not convince you, it can only be because you need to hear it from someone you will trust more than the guy who has a vested interest in getting you to believe him.

You should not be living with someone not your husband and you should not enter a marriage such as you describe. Somehow, you won’t believe this. Go talk to your pastor.

Please pay attention to what others have told you. In fact, you are a bit overdue in seeing a priest!

I wish and pray that i had the courage to leave or call authorities on this man to file a restraining order.

If you feel like you are in danger, you should call the police or leave.

Things have gotten worse.

If you think it’s bad now, just wait until you both are legally under contract with the state. He’ll be able to hang that over your head, too.

The worse part is that im confused and still question if the feedback im getting on this website is even valid.

Oh, it’s real people trying to help. Some responses I’m sure are better than others.

I keep trying to convince myself that the responses im getting on here could possibly be the enemy using others to destroy our relationship.

I thought the same thing, too when I was in an abusive relationship. I wish I had listened.

He (my fiance) has told me that we are of Gods will but that Im allowing the enemy to take control in our home. Because

Sounds like he knows the dating/relationship game.

Lesson: to keep the girl, make her think it was meant to be.

i question his whereabouts, he feels that im accusing him,

Do you have a good reason for this? I would like to know the context of this, because I’ve had at least one woman I was talking to on-line who had never met me asking me where I was like we were living together and in a relationship, which was over the top.

so he says i have no respect for him. So he gets angry that i disrespect him in that way. So he then blows up in much enragement and verbally assaults me and gets physical with himself, like banging his head on the wall.

He’s trying to make it all your fault. That’s not a recipe for a good marriage at all. It means you two cannot communicate and I think he hits his head on the wall to make you look like the bad guy so that you’ll come and make him stop by giving him what he wants.

He says that IF I would take control of my doubts, then none of these actions would be happening. So with that said, he does prove a point. He says im the problem in the relationship.

I’ve got bad news for him: A woman isn’t able to control her doubts. She can bury them, ignore them, question them, deny them, but make no mistake: your doubts exist for good reason:

You are not sure about him because of his behaviour.

Those are your feminine instincts. Trust them.

I cant seem to think clear or make out what is real and whats not anymore. Someone please talk to me. I feel like im going insane. :"( i feel weary. And scared. He keeps insisting that we talk.

This cycle won’t be broken in a marriage. He is manipulating you, and you are torn because you have feelings for him and want to trust him, but your logic and instincts are telling you otherwise.

You feel weary because people like that just wear you down until they get their way. Frankly, I think there is something wrong with him mentally, and I mean that in the sense of a legitimate

So …i have tried only to be insulted, and intimidated by his aggressive behaviors. It hurts when he tells me to just shut up and listen. And no interruptions. I feel cornered cause he blocks the door so i wont get thru.

I don’t think he knows how to communicate with you. The other possibility is he knows he can do it and get away with it.

Either way, it’s really bad and abusive on his part and you don’t have to take it.

How do i KNOW IF THIS MAN IS GODS WILL FOR ME? HOW?? Someone please tell me how to know Gods will.

Frankly, you should know a lot by how you are treated, and you are getting treated like garbage.

When we are called to marriage, we are not called to be in an abusive relationship but one that reflects Jesus and His Bride, the Church.

How do you think that’s working out here?

Like he says, relationships dont have every day as a happy day. Some days r going to be bad.

Listen, I’ve been in bad, abusive and manipulative relationships before and women have even tried to scam me with mixed success. So, I pretty much know the angles here .

And the idea that there’s some and good and bad isn’t enough to keep this going. It’s just an excuse for him to keep acting this way.

So now i wonder if our relationship is indeed healthy but these are just the bad days???

Your relationship is not healthy.It’s abusive for you. He is wearing you down. It is what manipulators do until they get what they want.

What r bad days supposed to look like in a healthy relationship?

Not abusive. You deal with the challenges in life together and with understanding.

You ask what Gods will is for the marriage vocation?

–You are to move as one, living the Gospel by example

–You are to provide a loving home for children and be open to them.

Can you do that here? Because just getting married won’t change someone who acts like that. If anything, it will be a stamp of approval on the relationship as it is.

You can trust the people who have replied here to your questions and cries for help. I have read the remarks they post to you, and I have also read their posts on other threads on many topics here at CAF, and I can tell you they are good people.

Dear OP

Based on what you have said , he is clearly manipulating and controlling you , using God and Religion as an excuse. Please do not be fooled by this and get your act together for your sake and that of your child. This is not from God for the following reasons :

  1. A good Catholic man will not put you in an occasion of sin. He chose and is living in your house. A decent man will not do this knowing he is not married to you.

  2. Immaturity…Manipulative behaviors like crying, banging his head on the wall…He is acting like a 2 year old doing these things if he cannot get what he wants

  3. History… I think you mentioned in your other thread that he a history of being in Jail

  4. You got involved with this man when you were still married to your first husband. This alone is a red flag

I think you are already aware of all of these since you are the one who pointed out to us all of these. I am just reminding you…

Does he need a wife or a Psychiatrist? You are not a professional nor are you a doctor and it is not your job to treat him and to change him.

Take charge of your own life before it gets worst !!! Go to your parents house and leave this person.

I hope you do this. Even go to a counsellor or psychologist. No one here is going to influence your addiction to this loser. The’re wasting their typing fingers and efforts aren’t they? No normal person on the face of the planet would recommend you do anything but run. But will you? Another story. I say a prayer that you think about your kids and everyone other than your own addiction to this toxic waste. But will you? Another story.

Let us make this sweet and short. That man is not the one you want to spend your life with. Talk to the police, your priest, and please, really do it this time, think about how it would be to raise a child in a home like that. You really need to lose this guy, and ASAP.

biblehub.com/nlt/matthew/7.htm

Matthew 7:15-20 (New Living Translation)

“Beware of false prophets who come disguised as harmless sheep but are really vicious wolves. You can identify them by their fruit, that is, by the way they act. Can you pick grapes from thornbushes, or figs from thistles? A good tree produces good fruit, and a bad tree produces bad fruit. A good tree can’t produce bad fruit, and a bad tree can’t produce good fruit. So every tree that does not produce good fruit is chopped down and thrown into the fire. Yes, just as you can identify a tree by its fruit, so you can identify people by their actions.

He abuses you. He insults you. He throws blame on you.

His behavior produces bad fruit, for you and for the relationship.

The fault is his. You are afraid of him because of what he does.

This man is not God’s will for you. He just says that to control you.

We are not having sex. We do not share the same baed because we do not want to offend God. We share a house, spousal responsibilities and we share love through intimate readins from scripture and prayer. And he does not beat me up

If you are not happy, leave the relationship.

You have gotten excellent feedback from everyone.

You have to make the next move.

You need to see a priest.

You both need help. Maybe a relationship advisor of some kind.

You are clearly unhappy. His ways are making you unhappy. Maybe a trial separation would be a good idea. Move apart and give yourself time to think things through.

If he dearly loved you he wouldn’t treat you as he does.

God bless

God does not choose your husband for you. You have free will, it is up to you to make that choice. God does not intervene in who we choose, we have the gift of free will.

Stop waiting for God to either give a sign that he either approves or disapproves of your choice of future husband, it does not work like that. That is your choice to make, God will not make it for you.

God does not have some person pre-destined as a choice for us to marry. We have the gift of free will, we stand or fall based on the choices that we make.

As for what you’ve posted about your relationship. Your fiance seems like he is controlling you. I would say get out of the relationship now.

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