I have a friend whom I’ve known for a long time and who is a Catholic. He himself and I, in my opinion, would regard him as being somewhat shy bur when he gets talking, he’s a natural conversationalist who could have a chat with anyone. The problem is, I’ve noticed that he doesn’t seem to talk to women that much. While this didn’t seem too much of a problem at first, he explained me to later (after I enquired why) that he doesn’t wish to engage with women at all if he can help it, as he believes they’re too much of an occasion for sin, in his own words. Is he being too pessimistic? Or is his reluctance somewhat justified? Is this a case of scrupulosity?
My father, when he got to be the marrying age, wouldn’t even look at women lest he see one he thought was very beautiful but who wasn’t Catholic.
Only at church did he dare to glance up. And that’s where he met the woman who later became my Mom.
He feels this way about all women, even those to whom an attraction might lead to a suitable marriage?
Not your business, frankly. :shrug:
I can only assume he’s just making sure that she’s Catholic, as he really doesn’t seem to be the sort that tries to engage in a multiplicity of relationships; he gives off the, ‘one life, one wife’ type of vibe!
In the hedonistic world of today, it is likely justifiable to a good degree. In my estimation from your account of the matter: I think it is safe to rule out scrupulosity, as he is saying “I personally find speaking to women to be a near occasion of sin”, if so he is right in following his conscience on that point.
Best of luck!
He’s weird. But he’ll probably grow out of it.
Wouldn’t it be nice if the Catholic response to the problem of the world’s hedonism was something other than a neurotic swing to a different form of insanity?
Yes, what she said. Lots of men are shy around women. When the time comes or the right woman makes herself known to him he will find his speech for the right reasons. Your not his priest, mentor, or phycologist. Just be his friend. Peace.
You have to understand his intellectual capacity.
It is not weird. It is very wholesome. Dating is a ton of work and a source of temptation for some. He is doing himself a big favor.
He is not interested. That’s all there is to it.
Quite frankly, one year out from a very intense 3 year relationship, I feel the exact same way. I’ve simply no interest. I do what I want when I want and am responsible for and responsible to no one but myself.
This is a very wise post.
I’d like to thank you all for replying; but, in saying that, I have to be honest. There is no friend really, I was just using that front to gauge responses and it was rather helpful. Cheers!
Lying is a sin
All you really had to do was ask what we thought. It is a very simple subject.
When God Asks for an Undivided Heart by Andrew Apostoli is written for those discerning a vocation to the priesthood but it has lots of relevant, practical information.
Ignore the description at google books. It is not accurate.