My friend is now a lesbian


my friend came “out of the closet” and has a girlfriend. i can still hang out with her can’t i? anyone been in my shoes? i have mostly, right or wrong, shunned homosexuals but she’s a good friend. what should i do?


Shunning homosexuals is the same as the good religious people of Jesus’s day shunning the Samaritans, according to a homily I heard. Immoral and wrong. Why should your friendship change?


that’s what i thought. even jesus hung out with sinners…


I have a friend who announced she was a lesbian about 3 years into our frienship. Although, I’ll admit, things were a little awkward at first we are better friends than ever now. Even though I think homosexual actions are immoral I remain a good, supportive friend to her…and I make sure that i am also a good influence and that I live by my faith and morals. My friend really respects me for that and at times she shows her admiration for me and my husband and how strong of Catholics we are.

I pray for her, though…constantly. Pray for your friend but never give up on her.


I sponsor a woman in my 12 step program who is lesbian and in a ‘committed relationship’. I sneak Catholic theology in on her - right now I have her praying to St. Therese … and she told me she asked for a rose and got one…I hope to be a good example to her of Catholic love while never pretending to her that I support her lifestyle choices.




And the question is???


Love the sinner not the sin. You can still be friends with her and any other person you want.

I have had to step away from some friends because the closer I got to them to farther I got from God. Was it their fault, no. It was mine, for not having the courage to stand up to them for my beliefs. I’d sit there and be quiet while they openingly mocked Christianity. BUT…now that I’m better I have been known to say “wait a minute” and go into why I believe what.


My best friend is a lesbian. I am open about my faith but try not to judge. She is still my friend and I love her.


I hear most of them (women anyway) grow out of it by 25. Is this a teen/young adult ‘exploration’ thing or is this a mature person?


Okay, I am going to be the first person to say…It depends. I have two cousins who are homosexual that I love dearly. I haven’t talked to them in awhile but that is more to physical distance then any desire on my part not to talk.

If your friend is respectful of your beliefs and is not mocking your faith, then yes, continue the friendship. If she becomes bitter toward religion to the point that you begin to have doubts yourself then you might have to distance yourself a bit.


Remain her friend. Jesus was with sinners. You treat her at such. You can pray for her conversion. At this point, it would be pointless to try to convince her ways is wrong. Only God can convert people’s heart.



I worked with a few, when I worked, I was afraid at first and then wondering and then felt compassion, took awhile.

She needs a friend as you can be she needs a staight friend as one calls it.

That is what I learned, to be there when they want to return.
The one I got to know, left her girlfriend but not for me for herself when she learned the truth.

So keep praying and being the example as Jesus would want.


she’s 24.


For me, it goes without saying that we should be charitable to all, especially knowing, as Catholics, the charity that’s been extended to us through God’s grace. That said…
I work with a lesbian in an atypical environment (music business- she’s the manager of a band I work with) and know several lesbians in my line of work-some I like and some I dislike, just as there are some straight people I like and some with whom I have no affinity. Also, because of close friends of mine who work in the fashion industry, I’m often around (VERY) gay men that are friends of theirs.
I try to treat them like I would anyone else, but I often feel awkward when they begin to talk openly and indiscriminantly about their trysts and love affairs. While everyone else is chiming in their opinions and laughing at anecdotes, I kind of remain silent or pretend I wasn’t listening. :whistle:
I know that they feel empowered by the approval of those around them and they can often be outrageous in their dialogue (or, better, monologue). This tends to happen more often with gay men than gay women, in my experience.
So, I would broaden the question and ask: how can you be humane and loving toward a gay person without making them think you’re O.K. with their lifestyle (especially in environments like the ones I frequent, in which they’re used to full approval from almost everyone). It’s so hard when you want to be kind and when you’re outnumbered and feeling a bit cowardly…:blush:


Just make sure you do not have to hide your beliefs in her presence for fear of offending her.

You don’t have to be intentionally overt, but in the circles I travel, there is a rarely a situation where politics and religion do not come up. Whether it is work or family, they are popular topics, and most lesbians would not be interested in hearing how many of us feel about the lifestyle.

However, it would be disingenuous and rude to our Lord to hide the truth if it came up. I am not saying you have to bring it up to shove it down her throat, but you can’t hide from it should it present itself.

That’s probably the reason I have very few homosexual and/or liberal friends; they seem very annoyed by my beliefs when the subject of politics and religion come up, and odn’t want to be around me.


DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in these forums do not necessarily reflect those of Catholic Answers. For official apologetics resources please visit