My friends


#1

So it’s Thanksgiving, and I’m back home visiting my folks. Some of my old friends are also in town, and I grabbed a few drinks with them. The thing is, all they seem to care/talk about is their jobs and making more money, comparing their salaries, titles, and what not. Those things just don’t interest me; when I’m with my friends, I like to just shoot the breeze and talk about relaxing things. It’s not to say that I’m not ambitious - I just don’t put as much emphasis on it or like to talk about it that much. When I tell them that my top priority in life is getting into Heaven, they look at me funny. It seemed that the only things that matter to them are climbing the corporate ladder and making an obscene amount of money. I don’t know, but it just seems that I don’t have that much in common with them anymore. Anyway, just venting a little. Thanks for listening.


#2

You sound like you have things figured out and your priorities are right. I'm guessing though that your friends would rather hear about those reeeeeaaaaaallllly old hot dogs you ate rather than understand how your faith fills your life. :shrug:


#3

Good for you for having your priorities right!

I have some friends who just bought a house, are going on a cruise, and are making quite a lot of money for their age. It seems like every time we hang out, they love to talk about their jobs, how much money they have, and their vacation time. This is especially painful for me as I just got laid off, have debt from school, can’t buy a home, and especially in this holiday season I had to take a temp job in retail where I get to spend much of the time working rather than being with my family.

I remember bringing this up to them once when I was getting rather tired of the talk and I remember them saying “that’s what you get for working retail” and I almost had to leave. They seem to forget that I got laid off from my job, and had to work retail to make my rent since they are the only places hiring…


#4

I got rid of my school friends who were like that. It's boring and you would be wise to just let them go. I bet some of them have already joked behind your back about you wanting to go to Heaven.

Not worth it...surround yourself with friends that have the same morals as you.


#5

Well, they’re very good friends that I’ve known since middle school. I don’t want to get rid of them, but it’s just very annoying every time I talk to them, the topic turns to making more money and career advancement. I get the feeling that they’re talking about it, because they’re not happy about where they’re are in terms of those things. Maybe they are talking about me behind my back, but I don’t really care. If I can take some of them to Heaven with me, I’d be happy.


#6

I felt that way too about my friends and continued the friendship until 18 months ago. I had my daughter and at that point in my life, I just didn’t care to be around them anymore.

You may find that too as you continue on with your life. I admire your kind heart…bringing people to Heaven is beautiful! Just don’t let them drag you down…even walking away feeling down is not good for you. You can help people get to Heaven by praying for them at a distance too.

God bless you!


#7

[quote="BadTurkey, post:5, topic:177635"]
Well, they're very good friends that I've known since middle school. I don't want to get rid of them, but it's just very annoying every time I talk to them, the topic turns to making more money and career advancement. I get the feeling that they're talking about it, because they're not happy about where they're are in terms of those things. Maybe they are talking about me behind my back, but I don't really care. If I can take some of them to Heaven with me, I'd be happy.

[/quote]

You don't have to get rid of them, just limit your time seeing them every year, but when you are with them and they talk about capitalism or materialism, then divert the conversation to electronics, cars, or sports. Sometimes if you go through a spiritual revival or epiphany, most friends are not game to follow and you have to just leave them in their own little world. Most of my friends are having a problem trying to just feel content with what they have and look toward money as this fix all. These things can end up backfiring on them. Just leave em be, and be participative with them as you feel you need to, yeah even if they are talking behind your back, maybe they are just in a rough spot in their lives and still trying to figure it all out. Boys do this, they fraternize together and plan these far-out images of what their lives will be. You have a keener instinct, just keep focused on what you need to do to feel right with God, all other stuff is moot.


#8

[quote="OLHope, post:7, topic:177635"]
You don't have to get rid of them, just limit your time seeing them every year, but when you are with them and they talk about capitalism or materialism, then divert the conversation to electronics, cars, or sports. Sometimes if you go through a spiritual revival or epiphany, most friends are not game to follow and you have to just leave them in their own little world. Most of my friends are having a problem trying to just feel content with what they have and look toward money as this fix all. These things can end up backfiring on them. Just leave em be, and be participative with them as you feel you need to, yeah even if they are talking behind your back, maybe they are just in a rough spot in their lives and still trying to figure it all out. Boys do this, they fraternize together and plan these far-out images of what their lives will be. You have a keener instinct, just keep focused on what you need to do to feel right with God, all other stuff is moot.

[/quote]

I don't get to see them that much at all, maybe a few times a year, since we're spread out all over the country. We're thinking of taking a yearly trip together - already did this year - and making it a tradition as a way to keep in touch.


#9

Is that enough for you or them?

I remember a story that made way to a light note ending on one of the evening national news years back. A group of college buddies and their wives always spent New Years together, in order to ring in the new year with each other all the time in solidarity, and this brought them opportunity to catch up with each other, see what their intentions and hopes for the new year were and to say good bye to the bitter parts of the past year (the passing of family, the loss of work, and wish in a better year, etc). Together, best buds! I thought it was really sweet.

Maybe pick a time of the year that is just for you guys to have a fun weekend getaway or mancation. LOL


#10

Goodchicken-er, I'm sorry-BadTurkey-
::waits for the appluase and laughter to stop::

"Thank you! I'm here all weekend! Try the meatloaf!"

In all seriousness, the early 20th century writer Thomas Wolfe (not to be confused with the other brilliant but still alive writer of the same name) said it best when he said, "You can't go home again." Often times, when it comes to old friends, even those you've had for awhile, you can't. We all grow up in different ways.

That's not a bad thing at all. I'm much closer to my friends now than I ever was to my high school/middle school buddies.


#11

I think that what you are doing now is probably just fine. You don't have to put up with their boring talk a lot, you let it be known what you think is important, and you are maintaining a connection with people who you share a common past with.

And you may find in the future that their focus changes, and they grow up, and begin looking for some other things.


#12

[quote="BadTurkey, post:1, topic:177635"]
So it's Thanksgiving, and I'm back home visiting my folks. Some of my old friends are also in town, and I grabbed a few drinks with them. The thing is, all they seem to care/talk about is their jobs and making more money, comparing their salaries, titles, and what not. Those things just don't interest me; when I'm with my friends, I like to just shoot the breeze and talk about relaxing things. It's not to say that I'm not ambitious - I just don't put as much emphasis on it or like to talk about it that much. When I tell them that my top priority in life is getting into Heaven, they look at me funny. It seemed that the only things that matter to them are climbing the corporate ladder and making an obscene amount of money. I don't know, but it just seems that I don't have that much in common with them anymore. Anyway, just venting a little. Thanks for listening.

[/quote]

A fact of life is: we outgrow friends, like it or not. We get on different paths in life and grow out of what may have bonded us in the past. Sometimes we are blessed and have friends or a friend for our entire lifetime. We kind of grow together in a unique way, much as one does with a wife or husband over the years. In my 50+ years in this world, I only have a few friends that I knew in high school. My mother, who recently passed away, had a friend since she was 5 years of age!

We get married, raise a family, and that takes up all of our time. Friends do the same thing, for the most part. We get involved in our jobs, in our children growing up. Our friends do the same thing too. It either will keep us together or draw us apart, depending on what we do, our jobs, our investment in our family, etc. People naturally go their own way.

Find some new friends. You'll be glad you did!


#13

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